Meetings with Sages and Saints
MATAJI KRISHNA BAI
Life
Krishna Bai was born in 1903. Since she was born after the loss of their first two children, her parents loved her deeply and affectionately called her “Kutti” (meaning, ‘Baby’).
From her childhood Krishna Bai had great love for God. She would sing before the pictures of God, and become so completely absorbed that she would forget everyone and everything. Many a time she would talk to God - even when she was not in front of the pictures - unmindful of others making fun of her.
When she was four years old, she happily helped her mother and others in their chores. She also never felt jealous about anybody and various incidents from her childhood proved it time and again.
She lost her father when she was eight years old and was deeply affected by his passing away. Her maternal uncle took over the running of the household. A few years later, Kutti married Lakshman Rao. Living in penury, and still inwardly grieving her father’s death, Krishna Bai’s wedding gave her no joy.
Sometime after her marriage, she joined her husband in Bombay where they lived happily for a while. However, one shock after another came. Her husband passed away and other domestic troubles from her maternal uncle cropped up. Although she was well taken care of by her husband’s elder brother and his wife, she still felt like an orphan. Her two sons : Narayan and Ganesha had to be well taken care of, as well.
She and her sister-in-law used to visit Swami Ramdas regularly and it was in 1928 that Swami Ramdas accepted her as his disciple. She describes how it felt to visit with Papa Ramdas, “O Mother Papa! As I neared your ashram, I experienced a rare and inexpressible joy, similar to what a child would feel when it was about to meet its mother after a long period of separation. Thenceforward, I began visiting the ashram for your darshan daily in the company of friends.”
Mataji Krishna Bai
Swami Ramdas
Swami Satchidananda
With her devotion growing day by day, she was initiated by Swami Ramdas into the holy mantra : ‘Om Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram.’ He made her give up reading the scriptures, like Eknath Bhagavat and Jnaneswari ; and, got her to repeat the mantra with a rosary, day and night. He further instructed her to consider all thoughts that arose in her mind and whomsoever she beheld only as Ram Himself. He guided her on how to offer to Ram all actions performed by the limbs of body and the senses. Her intense longing for a ‘Guru’ was thus fulfilled.
The transformation that happened to her after being with Swami Ramdas has been described by her: “Accepting you as my central object of adoration, I learnt to love the entire universe. I was prepared to extend my love towards all beings and treat them with kindness, patience and forgiveness. As my vision expanded, I came to love all people and creatures in the world; and, my attachment to my husband and other members of his family disappeared. Later, when I renounced my attachment to all my kith and kin, by your will, I dedicated my body, mind, and all that I called my own to you, who is all and beyond all. Ultimately, you made me renounce myself, your form and the entire cosmos; and, I became one with the eternal Truth beyond name, form and movement. This spiritual summit I reached, through your infinite Grace.”
Papa Ramdas asked her to compose songs like Saint Mirabai and others. To that, Krishna Bai did not agree. A short talk that ensued then, between Papa and Krishna Bai is very illuminating:
"In that case what do you want to be like?" She replied, "I do not wish to be like anybody." To this he asked, "Do you wish to be like Ramdas?" She replied, “I don't want to be like you, a guru carrying on the work as you do. I want to be one with your eternal and infinite Being; and, know ‘you and I’ are one. Besides, nobody should know that I have realized your immanent and transcendent Being."
Whenever devotees invited her to their house to talk about Papa Ramdas, she would join them in their domestic work and would talk about Papa and Ram Nam.
After Papa's Mahasamadhi in 1963, it was left to Mother Krishnabai to guide the affairs of Anandashram and minister to Papa's spiritual family spread all over the world. In spite of poor health, she carried on her mission literally serving as a mother to all who came under her spell until she attained Mahasamadhi in 1989.
She toiled day in and day out to serve both, devotees as well as the poor and needy. For her, serving others was serving herself. The life she led in Anandashram made her an embodiment of selfless activity and a dynamic expression of multi-faceted divinity. God's compassion, graciousness, forgiveness, purity and peace radiated in her and she came to be venerated by one and all, as “Pujya Mataji Krishna Bai ” !
SOME QUOTES OF MATAJI KRISHNA BAI
“Whenever you do anything, understand that whomsoever you may serve, it is the Divine Mother you serve. It is She who has assumed all forms.”
“If you see greatness in others, the same greatness is in yourself. If you see littleness in others, the same littleness is in yourself.”
“We should develop a childlike nature. We should become innocent and pure like children. Ram Nam removes all the vasanas and makes everything void in us, while reading lends us strength and power to carry on with our sadhana until we have developed that childlike nature.”
Mataji Krishna Bai
Mataji Krishna Bai and Swami Ramdas
MATAJI KRISHNA BAI AND ME
As shared in the earlier article, it was Swami Ramdas who directed me to Mataji Krishna Bai.
The very first darshan of Pujya Mataji sent quivers of joy in me! I didn’t know - and no one told me at that time - that Mataji was a saint herself. I was to know about it only later. So, the experience of sanctity, serenity and saintliness in her presence that I felt, was not my mental projection – it was pouring out from her in a most natural way. I am making a specific mention of this only to confirm to fresh seekers that divinity, sanctity and saintliness exist in these extraordinary personalities, independently of one’s perception based on information derived from books or from fellow-seekers.
Pujya Mataji was not well. One Dr. Leelavati, who was attending on her, was with her. Swami Satchidananda introduced me to Mataji. Mataji looked at me with all affection, love and compassion, and said: “Child! What can I do for you?” I replied: “Mataji! I have problems and I need your help!” She looked surprised and said: “Then, why did you come to me? You should have gone to Pujya Papa.” Now, it was my turn to be surprised. I felt, “What is this? Are they playing football with me?” Bewildered, I replied “But, Mataji! It was Papa who sent me specifically to you!” She asked, “What did he say?” I repeated what Papa had told me, “Then, you should go to Mataji. She will deal with you.”
I saw a pleasant but tremendous change coming over Mataji. She became still, silent and stood like a rock for a few moments, and then poured forth the following glorious words of ‘abhayam’ (acceptance), “Oh! Pujya Papa has said so and sent you to me. That means I have to take complete charge of you. The entire responsibility of yours has thus been entrusted to me. Yes! I am taking over you!” For some time, a steady flow of silence permeated all around. Coming back to her normal poise, she said, “I am not well now. So, come here at four in the evening, when I will be taking a walk here. Then, we shall talk.” Mataji turned to Dr. Leelavati and told her to be there at that time to act as the interpreter between us.
Sharp at four, I was in the long hall. Mataji too entered the hall along with Dr. Leelavati.
I prostrated to Mataji, knelt in front of her, and said, “Mataji! I want to talk to you on personal matters.” Mataji looked down at me with love; and, asked me: “Do you understand my Malayalam? I can understand if you talk to me in Tamil. So, Leelavati, you may go!”
After she left, we were alone. To my great and good fortune, Mataji condescended to speak to me for more than an hour. Through it, and` Mataji’s Grace, my life was given an entirely different turn; and, I turned over a new leaf.
Still kneeling before Pujya Mataji, I saw her moon-like, peace-showering face turn to me, “Now, child! Tell me, what is your problem?” The powerful, yet homely presence of Mataji overwhelmed me, with awe and ecstasy and hence it took some time for me to gather all my faculties to reply. “Mataji! I have come away from the world to the austere life of an ashram for good. I took the decision myself and I am confident now that I would stick to it, at all costs. But, I have two deep doubts: One is, I am now 24 years old and my body and mind are in excellent condition. I am very firm that I do not want any of the pleasures that money, property, position and power can offer me. I have not an iota of doubt about it at all. But, after 10 or 15 years, I do not know whether I will continue to have such complete hold on my physical and mental condition. So, I want to know whether my decision to lead a spiritual life is correct or not. If not, I shall promptly go back to the life of the world, instead of going back to it after so many years. I pray, Mataji, please give me a clear direction, in this regard. The second is, having come to live in the Ashram and having taken to sadhana so early in life, I sought the advice and guidance of senior devotees of Sri Bhagavan, who live in and around the Ashram, to tell me what should be my sadhana. Each one advised me differently. One said, ‘Learn Sanskrit’, another, ‘Sit in meditation in the Old Hall for an hour in the morning and in the evening’, yet another, ‘Chant the Vedas, along with the Veda Pathasala boys’ ‘Go away from the Ashram; wander all over India, meet Sages and Saints; remaining inside an institution amounts to the bird with wings enclosing itself inside its mother’s nest’. When they were thus telling me, I knew very well that they were very sincere. Yet, none of what they said went in. Not that I was resisting them, but not one of them got assimilated into my system. The puzzle continues. So, Mataji! I want you to guide me as to the nature of sadhana that I have to seriously adopt and observe, if your answer to my first question is ‘yes’!”
Pujya Mataji seemed very pleased, since while listening to me, all the time, her most beautiful face was glowing and she showered on me a nectar-like smile. She bent down and touched my head and said: “Child! I bless you! In the very beginning itself, I want to correct you, correct your understanding. Your understanding is raised on wrong foundation. Rectify it now itself, in my presence, so that you can follow rightly what I am going to tell you. You repeatedly said: ‘I have chosen’, ‘I have come away’, while talking about your decision to take up sadhana and to lead an ashram life. Have complete faith and conviction that it is not you who have chosen the spiritual life, but it has been chosen by the Lord. You have no other choice but to implicitly obey it and follow it! With this basic, right foundation of conviction, listen to me. You are on the right track. Since you need an assurance, I guarantee that you will succeed in your sadhana and you will not swerve from the path until you attain your goal. I will guide you and protect you. Pujya Papa has invested me with that duty. So, don’t worry! Go ahead, never look back!”
After some time, she continued, “As for your second question, none of the counsels given by others suited you, for the simple reason, that none of them were meant to be your mode of sadhana! Your sadhana is to get back those Old Devotees of Sri Bhagavan who have moved away from the Ashram after Sri Bhagavan’s mahanirvana. They are all scattered across many towns, cities and their native places. Beseech them, convince them that the abode of the Master alone is their place of stay and bring them back to the ashram. Then, look after them, make their stay comfortable, and thus attend on them, one-pointedly. They have all sacrificed their personal lives of comfort, power, position and pleasures for the sake of living in the proximity of the holy feet of Sri Bhagavan. Now, you should extend all these to them, with respect, love and tender care. This is your sadhana. Do it diligently.” She took a break and rested a while. But my mind, in that split second, manufactured a thought.
Pujya Mataji gave me a mischievous smile and stroked my head, and said: “I know! While you were prepared to do all these, your mind raises the question: ‘What about my spiritual sadhana?’ Isn’t it? When you do this precious service to the Old Devotees, one-pointedly, joyously, diligently and continuously, all the stages in your sadhana, will get fulfilled automatically at the appropriate time. Don’t worry over it. That is my responsibility. I have taken full charge of you and as such I will be guiding you, through and through!”
Again, there was a break. And, again, my mind quickly mulled over the thought, “We both will soon be separated by hundreds of miles away. She can’t come to Arunachala and I don’t know whether I will come again to Anandashram. How is she going to guide me, in my day-to-day life, which I feel is very essential to me at that fluid stage of my sadhana ?” The moment I was thus reflecting, she said with great compassion, “My guidance will continue even when you are far away from me. Poor child! Have faith. My guidance will protect you throughout your life. You will yourself realise this as time moves on. Anyhow, for your immediate understanding I shall explain how I will guide you. If anyone comes to you and advises you -- unasked by you -- take it that, that advice comes from me. Likewise, if something is taken away from you – unasked -- don’t resist - it is I who is removing it from you. I will do both these for your betterment and spiritual growth. Now, I want to give you a foretaste of what I am going to do for you. Do you have any money with you?” I took out a hundred rupee note. She continued, “Hold it in front of your face. From now on money will not affect you. While you will know its value, I am wiping out from your system the power of money to grip you. You will no longer be corrupted by money power!” I instantaneously felt it drop away from me. From then until today, I have lost the capacity to know the real worth of money!
She walked a little and again came to me and said: “I have answered your questions. Now, I want to tell you something of myself. This is to put you on the right track of successful sadhana. Listen to it carefully!”
I was thrilled that Mataji had condescended to guide me. I still feel that it is Sri Bhagavan’s Grace that enabled me to deserve the supremely important words of wisdom and practical guidance that Pujya Mataji showered on me.
She continued, “Sadhana is not a means to an end. Sadhana is not a means to a goal. It is both the means and the goal. It is like sports coaching: The pupil is initially told ‘not to do this’, ‘not to hit the ball outside the court’ - only to focus the pupil’s attention on what exactly has to be done by him. Here too, the sadhana is introduced to the seeker as a means towards a goal. Since the goal itself is already there, that is, your own SELF, how can there exist another goal, other than the one who is striving? So, the sadhana is merely an initiation to plunge within and be the goal. That is why it is said, ‘The beginning itself is the end ’. The SELF in its assumed state of ignorance should do sadhana to attain the goal of perfection. Sages also go along with such ignorant sadhaks and say, ‘Yes’, ‘yes’, go ahead. Be diligent in your sadhana. Then only you will attain the goal!’ It is all God’s Leela! So, be serious with your sadhana–it is the beginning, end and the fulfillment of your life’s crowning glory!”
Mataji engaged in domestic work
“Learn to use only positive terms. Never use negative terms, like, ‘No’, ‘I wouldn’t’, ‘I can’t’, etc. Be conscious and use an alternative, positive expression. Instead of saying ‘I can’t do it’, say, ‘I will try to do it’. Negativity, in any form, is the realm of the mind; it always pulls you down -- slowly but surely. In positivity, acceptance and responsibility are thrust on you. People, usually, shun taking burdens. A spiritual aspirant should be prepared, at all times, to own responsibility, for, the whole purpose of creation is for the Lord to play His Leela. Be a part of it! Have a positive attitude and use only positive answers and terms – be vigilant about it. Such adherence to positivity will, in the natural course, build in you strength, humility, simplicity and perseverance – very essential qualities for progress towards the Truth, inwardly.”
“Never look back to the past. Always be in the ‘Now ’. Likewise, don’t be endlessly planning or dreaming about the future. Trust the Guru. Have faith in the path you have been blessed with. Pay all attention to your sadhana. Sadhana is done always in the ‘Now ’ – be conscious of this important instruction. Past thoughts and future desires intrude into the ‘Now ’ and impede your peacefully plunging into sadhana – be it japa, Atma Vichara, puja or parayana. While in the ‘Now ’, i.e., while doing any of these sadhanas, never allow the thoughts about the past or future to arise, to intrude into you.”
“When a vacuum is created, nature’s law is that air should rush in and fill it up, instantaneously. Similarly, when through total attention on sadhana one is plunged in the ‘Now ’, which is equivalent to creating a vacuum, since the ‘Now ’ is ever devoid of the contents of memory and desires, these outsiders in the form of past and future thoughts force themselves into the ‘Now ’. That is why sadhakas are ever faced with the apparent insurmountable struggle against the invading thoughts, especially when one progresses in sadhana. Guru’s Grace alone will help the true sadhaka to win over these invaders and remain in the silence of the ‘Now ’. Therefore, before sitting for meditation, prostrate to your Guru (or picture of the Guru), take his name and pray for his blessings, protection and guidance, and then plunge into Self-Enquiry. You will then see how effortlessly you will be established in the ‘Now ’, with great ease too! Guru, Guru and Guru alone IS – you are not!”
“Be always generous. The giver is ever God only. No human being is capable of producing any of the life-giving commodities. From this, you should understand clearly that the giver is God alone. Such clarity will equip you with the inner strength to give away things; and more importantly, not to cling to material objects. By assuming this attitude of positive giving, one of the stoutest obstacles in the progress of sadhana – attachment – is triumphed over with effortless ease! Take delight in giving, generously. All religions, therefore, preach charity and giving alms, as vital virtues. Be conscious of the need to be generous, as one of the most important traits for progress in sadhana.”
“Accept things as they come. Lead a simple life. By this, I do not advocate austerity. At your young age, you should enjoy life in all its wholeness. Do as you please, but with the string–‘Will Mataji approve of this?’–attached to every one of your desires. This will help you decide for yourself, without a hitch, whether the desire is to be fulfilled or to be rejected. Try to live from the heart and not merely through the head. Remember, the intellect acts merely as a safety-valve – it helps to reject the unreal, thus preventing calamities and disasters, that’s all. It can never lead you to the Reality. Whereas if you follow your heart, you will never falter, for, it is the Inner Voice, it is the intuition, it is the divine which activates the heart! Its dictates are based on compassion, love, tolerance and sacrifice. Intellect will urge you to always be the winner, the gainer. The heart, on the other hand, will embrace you even if you are a loser in upholding noble causes. Be a loser, never aspire to be a gainer, for, the eternal law is that those who lose will ultimately gain!”
“Since you are related to the Maharshi, the greatest Jnani of our times, people will try to brainwash you, saying, ‘Seven generations before and seven generations after a Jnani is born in a family, will get liberation automatically!’ Don’t believe it. The whole of humanity is the family of a Jnani. Without doing sadhana no one will attain Self Realisation. Being born in the family of a Jnani is most certainly most fortunate. People will respect you, shower you with material things, praise you, adore you and even worship you.”
“But remember, none of these will take you even an inch forward towards the Self Realisation. Be ever conscious of this simple truth - it will save you from the biggest pitfalls of being born in a Jnani’s family.”
“ Refrain from projecting yourself as a ‘somebody’. No one need know that you are a seeker. Look normal; do sadhana unknown to the eyes of others. Keep it as a secret and preserve it as a precious jewel. Has not Sri Bhagavan said, ‘There are no others’ ? It only means that you alone count as far as sadhana is concerned. The Guru knows the sincerity and depth of your sadhana. What other form of recognition should you seek? The Guru guides you both from outside and inside. No other aids are necessary. Nothing but sadhana should matter to you. To preserve the purity of progress, one needs this defence mechanism of not projecting oneself as a spiritual seeker. Become a ‘nothing’. Be a ‘nobody’. When you thus empty yourself, it is easy for the Guru to come and occupy your heart, thereby guiding you from within, which is the mark of ultimate progress in one’s spiritual path. Has not Sri Bhagavan repeatedly affirmed; ‘Be simple, be humble and be natural’ ? These are the three supremely noble traits a true seeker should aspire for and be rooted in, forever!”
“Finally, I want to assure you that your Satguru is Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. You are fortunate to have the greatest Jnani as your Guru. Hold on to him, cling firmly to his holy feet. Never swerve away from him. Never go searching for any other Guru. If you really get rooted in your Satguru, it will be his duty to ripen you spiritually. It can also be by his sending you to learn from other masters. You yourself do not have to make any effort to go to other masters. You will be taken to other masters when the need arises - but it is not your concern. Unasked you will be led to other masters - don’t resist any such move when it occurs. Once you have totally surrendered to the Satguru, he guides you through and through. Who do you think sent you here? It is Sri Bhagavan alone! Is Pujya Papa other than Sri Bhagavan? Why did Pujya Papa send you to me? Who is Mataji Krishnabai but Pujya Sri Bhagavanji? Has not Sri Bhagavan clarified this point by saying, ‘There are no Jnanis, there is only Jnana’? Only Jnana counts. To make it blossom in the disciple, the same Jnana appears as the Satguru, and takes him to other masters, who all are also nothing but Jnana. But, when you make efforts to go to masters, you will see them only as individuals. But, when the Satguru sends you to masters, you will see only Jnana and the blessings received from them will also be Jnana only. It is the process to ripen you, even without your knowing it consciously! The Satguru’s workings are often mysterious. But, be assured that it is always for your spiritual advancement!”
‘Boy’ Ganesan with Sri Bhagavan (a painting)
“The Guru is all important. But, who is the Guru? The Guru is not just the body, the person whom you see with your eyes. “The ‘teaching’ is the teacher. The ‘teaching’ is the Guru”. Preserve this secret deep in your heart as the most precious treasure. I bless you, Child! You are already blessed by Pujya Sri Bhagavanji and by Pujya Papa. Rest assured that my protection, guidance and blessings are always on you!”
Like a honey-bee coming out of a lotus flower after having its fill, I got up in all joy and repeatedly prostrated to Pujya Mataji. The nectar that poured forth from her holy mouth, though very precious, could be understood by me in its depth and purity only slowly, as I began to experience every sentence of hers coming true in my life of inward journey towards the Self! I returned to Arunachala, after a few days stay at the peace-filled Anandashram. While taking leave, both Pujya Papa and Pujya Mataji blessed me, profusely.
It is amazing for me to look back and now realise, how for 27 years, after I was so graciously initiated into my mode of sadhana by Pujya Mataji, I had no necessity to go back to her and seek any clarification about her divine upadesa! This, perhaps, is the proof - if any proof is necessary - of the spiritual strength and power of a true Saint!
Old Devotees of Sri Bhagavan blessing the house-warming ceremony of S.P.Mukherjee (1961)
I too meticulously followed her course of guidance, without a single thought of resistance or obstacles. Everything moved so smoothly and so well that there was not a single failure or disappointment in all my efforts. On my return to Sri Ramanasramam, I started gathering details, slowly but steadily, of where all the Old Devotees were scattered. Like a planned programme, I executed the whole scheme, without telling anyone, including my father who was the Ashram President under whom I was working, the instructions imparted to me by Pujya Mataji. Sri Ramanasramam was financially at a very low ebb, and adding more Ashramites would not have been welcomed by the management. Especially when most of all these Old Devotees were either very poor or sadhus.
Within a few decades, under the guiding presence of Pujya Mataji, I succeeded in bringing nearly forty Old Devotees back to Sri Ramanasramam. It was purely her Grace that I could look after them and to the best of my ability and capacity, fulfill their needs, which were naturally few and far between. Rooms were built, servants were recruited and medical aid was provided. Most importantly, to support all these, sufficient and steady inflow of donations had to be arranged for! All this was done by Bhagavan’s Grace.
While offering my prostrations to Pujya Mataji for guiding me through and through, I also offer my wholehearted salutations to those few friends who were always helpful to me, supporting me and extending unflinching assistance to me, in every way they could for all those years. Obviously, I could not have achieved it by myself! What a great opportunity it was for me to be in the proximity of those Old Devotees and serve them, who had had the rare privilege of being in the divine presence of Beloved Bhagavan!
In 1987, I visited Anandashram for an extremely short stay. Again, I received Pujya Mataji’s blessings in abundance. Those were the days I was burdened with a very serious problem concerning a printing press. (The details of this have been shared in the chapter on the great siddha purusha, Yogi Ramsuratkumar - a direct disciple of Swami Ramdas and Pujya Mataji - in “Ramana Periya Puranam” , which can be downloaded, free of cost, from the AHAM website) .
It was this same siddha purusha, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, who in 1989, directed me to immediately go to Anandashram and be with Pujya Mataji, as long as she wanted me to be with her. He said that she was on her death bed and was calling me. I left for Anandashram the same night. When I reached, Swami Satchidananda was standing underneath the ‘Panchavati’ repeating loudly and joyously to himself, “Now, I understand! Now, I understand!” I went and prostrated to him and demanded what he had understood. He replied, “Mataji has been telling me every morning and evening the past one week, ‘Ganesha is coming! Ganesha is coming!’ I used to reply, ‘No, Mataji! Ganesha can’t come. He is definitely not coming!’ She would insist, ‘No! You don’t know, but I know. Ganesha is coming!’ I used to leave it at that. Now I understand that she was predicting your coming here. I was under the impression that Mataji was talking about her seventy year old son, Ganesha. He is in a Mental Hospital in Pune and will not be released from the hospital unless Mataji sends them a requisition letter. So, as such, I was positive that Ganesha can’t come. How ignorant we are with our limited and collected knowledge and how wise Saints are! How madly we cling to and assert what little we know! Come, come! We will go and see Mataji!”
Mataji was bedridden and very seriously ill. Darshan was restricted to just one hour in the morning, when all stood in a queue to see her. Other than that, men were disallowed to go to her, as most of the time Mataji was simply covered with a thin cloth. Consequently, only women were attending on her.
When we entered her room, after giving sufficient advance notice, Mataji welcomed us with a glorious smile! Swami Satchidananda bent towards her and first apologised to her, saying that he now understands what she was telling him every day for the past week. She replied, “I am glad you now understand. Stay always in a state of learning!” She turned to me, and said, “Child! Stay here. Take rest. Come every morning and sit where I can see you.” I was in tears - I could not bear to see Mataji’s body so emaciated, pale and thin. She blessed me by touching my head. What a great blessing, I thought, for my small effort of travelling a few hundred miles! Next morning, when I entered her room, I noticed Mataji had already had a comfortable stool placed for me to sit near her holy feet where she could see me, all the time even when she was lying down. I felt reluctant to sit on a stool that was at the same height of Pujya Mataji’s bed. But she insisted that I sit on the stool.
Every day, when I entered, she would strain herself to see whether the stool was there. She instructed me to observe everything that happened and be watchful and aware all the time I was with her. This was exceptionally kind and gracious of Mataji, for, many eye opening things, for a sadhaka like me, did happen.
One day, a bright youngster came along with his mother and told Mataji: “I am an engineer working in a good firm in Bangalore. I am unmarried. Three years ago, I was initiated into a mantra, by a reputed sannyasin. I have been sincerely chanting this mantra since then. But, it has not given me any spiritual benefit - I am still where I was. But, I have total faith in japa yoga.I recently heard about you and that you give initiation into japa. I pine from my heart for a mantra. Please initiate me into the right one.” Mataji listened carefully and asked him the mantra into which he was initiated. He replied: “The Narayana mantra, ‘Om Namo Narayanaya’.” “She told him to come the next day at the same time and that she would initiate him into the right mantra. Then she added that he should receive it and recite it with all care, attention and sincerity so that it became his own. The next day, when the youngster came, Mataji told him “Repeat the mantra I am going to initiate you into three times.” I was following the whole thing eagerly. To my surprise, Mataji gave him the same mantra that he was initiated into three years ago - ‘Om Namo Narayanaya’. As I watched, puzzled, I saw the youngster’s face. Even as he repeated the mantra after Mataji, with closed eyes, his face brightened up with joy, and ecstasy. He prostrated with all reverence a few times to Mataji. She blessed him with a glorious smile. After they left, Mataji lifted her head a little, looked at me deeply and then gave me a smile of grace and blessings!
Naturally, she should have known that I knew two other similar instances, already. Of course, that is how I would like to interpret Pujya Mataji lifting her head and smiling at me. Therefore, I feel that they too have to be shared here, for the benefit of spiritual aspirants.
A wealthy Nattukkottai Chettiar came to the great Saint of South India, Kanchi Sankaracharya and told him that he was initiated into the hoary panchakshara mantra: ‘Om Nama Sivaya’ by three different great sannyasins on three different occasions. But, though he was sincerely doing its japa, there was no benefit. He pleaded with the Saint that he be given a fresh mantra, for, he believed only in Japa Marga. The Acharya told him that he would give him the initiation the next day and that he should come prepared for that and accept the mantra, with one-pointed attention and total acceptance. The next day, the initiation took place. The Acharya told him, “The Sankaracharya of the Kamakoti Peetham is now initiating you into this mantra. Receive it with all reverence.” The mantra given was ‘Om Nama Sivaya’ ! The Chettiar received it with such reverence and attention that it started working on him, instantaneously. This Chettiar, we are told, later became a great Japa Yogi !
Kanchi Sankaracharya
The second instance involves a reputed traditional Ayurvedic physician in Kerala. He was not only respected as an excellent physician, but also revered as a Saint in his region for his upright character, undivided dedication to his profession and effecting an almost one hundred per cent cure to all diseases ! His name was Dr. Moos (He came and examined Bhagavan Ramana’s cancer in the arm and openly expressed, “The body of a Jnani is not subject to the laws of ordinary nature. I know I can cure this disease on anyone else. But, I can’t even presume to cure a Jnani’s physical ailment, for, its appearance has multi-dimensional reasons – not merely physical alone. Sri Bhagavan Himself knows best. He has to cure Himself !” After he left, Sri Bhagavan complimented Dr. Moos, as “a man of true knowledge’ and “he knew what he spoke” !)
Dr.Moos (traditional Ayurvedic Vaidhya)
One day, a patient came to him writhing with intense stomach pain. He told the doctor that being a wealthy man, he had gone even to England and taken various treatments. But, nothing helped him. Ultimately, he had started taking only Ayurvedic medicines. He said that he had consulted the best Ayurvedic physicians in Gujarat, Uttar Pradesh and West Bengal and that none of their treatments could cure him. Dr. Moos examined his pulse and gave him a particular arishtam (tibic like medicine). Seeing it, the patient reacted with great disappointment. “Oh, no ! This is the same medicine, all those doctors, in all the three states gave me. No ! It does not work, at all !” Dr. Moos, in a tone filled with authority, power and conviction, commanded : “I, Dr. Moos, am now giving you this arishtam. This will cure you. Stay here for three days. Now, take the first dose of it, right now, in my presence !” The patient was cured completely, within those three days !
In this regard, I want to quote the very significant passage in “Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi” wherein Sri Bhagavan clarifies the necessity of the competency of the one who ventures to initiate another into a mantra.
[ Devotee : “Can anyone get any benefit by repeating sacred syllables (mantras) picked up casually ?”
SRI BHAGAVAN :** “No. He must be competent and initiated in such mantras.” The Maharshi illustrated this by the following story : ‘A King visited his Prime Minister in his residence. There he was told that the Premier was engaged in repetition of sacred syllables (japa). The King waited for him and, on meeting him, asked what the japa was. The Premier said that it was the holiest of all – Gayatri. The King desired to be initiated by the Premier. But, the Premier confessed his inability to initiate him. Therefore, the King learned it from someone else, and meeting the Minister later, he repeated the Gayatri and wanted to know if it was right. The Minister said that the mantra was correct, but it was not proper for him to say it. When pressed for an explanation, the Minister called to a page close by and ordered him to take hold of the King. The order was not obeyed. The order was often repeated, and still not obeyed. The King flew into a rage and ordered the same man to hold the Minister, and it was immediately done. The Minister laughed and said that the incident was the explanation required by the King. “How ?” asked the King. The Minister replied, “The order was the same and the executor also, but the authority was different. When I ordered, the effect was nil, whereas, when you ordered, there was immediate effect. Similarly with Mantras.” ]
Guru initiating a disciple into a ‘mantra’
Commencement of Navarathri celebrations by carrying Mother Yogambal (inset : Mother Yogambal). - My younger brother V.Subramanian - ‘Mani’ can be seen on the extreme left -
Mataji made me stay for a full two months, at Anandashram, with her. During that period many absorbing things happened. Of course, every day, the morning darshan and an hour’s proximity to Pujya Mataji was my elixir! During the early part of my stay, the Navarathri festival was being observed and joyously celebrated all over India. At Sri Ramanasramam, the idol of Goddess Yogambal would be taken out in procession and kept outside its usual inner shrine, where it would be decorated attractively for nine nights to depict various divine aspects of the Holy Mother. After the ninth night, the idol would be carried again in a procession back to the inner shrine. Every year, I used to actively participate in this festival. I used to take special delight in carrying the idol of the Holy Mother, on both the occasions of bringing it out and taking it back. One day, I got a letter from Sri Ramanasramam that it was the day that the Mother Yogambal was being carried out and that they all would miss me. I was deeply sad that I would miss that privilege of being one of the carriers of the holy Mother Yogambal. That afternoon, someone came to my room and told me that Mataji was calling me.
When I reached the hall, I saw a chair tied to two long poles and devotees talking excitedly. From one of them I came to know that Mataji, who was bed-ridden, had suddenly expressed that she wanted to visit Pujya Papa’s Samadhi and pay her homage. Since doctors had strictly prohibited her from walking, Swami Satchidananda had suggested that she be carried on a chair. By the time Mataji came to the hall, it started drizzling. She was then helped with some difficulty to sit on the chair. Unexpectedly, she turned to me and said with a smile that I should be in the front - the exact position that I used to occupy while carrying the idol of Mother Yogambal, at Sri Ramanasramam! We all joyously carried her on our shoulders out of the hall. I was in ecstasy since I clearly saw Mataji’s divine hands behind this most compassionate act of fulfilling a simple need of mine! On the way, when people held out an umbrella over Mataji, she said, “Hold it over Ganesha. He is getting drenched!” When I heard my name being mentioned by Mataji I strained and turned back to look at her with eyes full of gratitude and joy. She smiled at me and raised her hand by way of blessing me; and, said, “Are you happy, now ?” The acts of saints are supremely compassionate! Never before and never after, did Mataji ever sit on a chair and ask others to carry it! For me, there was no doubt that she was doing that only to appease my longing, to carry the Holy Mother on my shoulders. What a blessing to me that I could happily and joyously carry my sacred Mother Yogambal – that too in flesh and blood - on my shoulders! I should definitely have accrued great merit in hundreds of past lives to have this one single act of Grace to descend on me! No one knew why Pujya Mataji acted as she did on that sacred day. Nor did I dare to even vaguely express to any one that she was doing it for my sake! The relationship between a Saint and a devotee is inscrutable - anything can happen, at any time. But one thing is sure – it is always to the benefit of the devotee!
There is another interesting anecdote about Mataji that I want to share with seekers. It is important, as it brings out the value and beauty of reading reminiscences of and incidents connected with Sages and Saints. Every occurrence in a Saint’s life is a signpost for the seeker to either rectify his own flaws or to build up his virtues. Each one of them is filled with significance. Those who find these reminiscences as not relevant to them, would at least have read something good and interesting. Such reading is not a wastage of time, as it is spiritually energizing. These readings fill the heart with contentment and take one into a state where time seems to stand still. Contentment, Love, Compassion – all are pure spiritual traits that put an end to the chaos of ‘time’ and ‘mind’. When one’s ‘mind’ is active in divisive thinking, disappointment, disagreement, hate, anger, sorrow, jealousy, bitterness and so on, rule supreme. Reading about Saints and their acts of compassion, brings in a deep sense of contentment and, a sense of time well spent.
During my long stay at Anandashram, Swami Madhurananda, a friendly, cordial and affectionate resident of the ashram who took good care of me, would ask me to tell him stories and incidents about Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. I obliged him for a few days. At that time, another resident of the ashram, was Sashikala of Secunderabad. A young lady, she was close to Mataji. She was allowed by Mataji to serve her food and also attend to some of Mataji’s personal needs. Mataji had guided her from her childhood. Madhurananda used to tell Sashikala whatever I had narrated to him about Sri Bhagavan. Sashikala, in her turn, was narrating all those anecdotes to Mataji while serving her food. On the fourth day, Mataji told Sashikala that instead of her getting those stories from Madhurananda, she should fix up a time with me and hear the stories directly from me and then daily narrate them to her.
One day, due to some reason, Sashikala could not listen to my narration and the session was dropped. When she went to feed Mataji, she refused to eat lunch without a Ramana-story! From next day onwards, our story sessions continued in the mornings – without interruption.
Sri Bhagavan standing at the entrance to Skandasramam
As for me, I would eagerly await Mataji’s reaction to the previous day’s Ramana-story. I was told that Mataji always called Sri Bhagavan her ‘grandfather’, while Pujya Papa ever remained as her ‘father’. Yes, Mataji’s devotion to Sri Bhagavan was truly very deep. After these story sessions, Mataji started seeing Sri Bhagavan, quite often in her room. On some days when she was suffering from acute illness, she openly said that her ‘grandfather’ was very kind to her and was all the time with her, consoling her and even healing her! Swami Satchidananda told me that one day when Mataji was in a serious condition, he rushed to her room. He said that she shouted at him, saying, “Satchidanandam! Where were you? Look, my ‘grandfather’ has come, and he is standing with his stick and kamandalu outside the room. Rush, go! Invite him into the room. Offer him a comfortable seat! Take full care of him. Attend on him. Don’t just stand there! Go, go!” When I went to her room, early in the morning, next day, as usual, Mataji gave me a benign smile and said, “You see! I told you that Pujya Bhagavanji is my grandfather! Yesterday, when my health became critical he came, he sat near me and he healed me!” I was thrilled! I did the only thing I could do–I got up and prostrated to her! I felt the powerful presence of Sri Bhagavan in her own physical frame, which, of course, was very fragile and was lying flat on the bed!
In the course of my story sessions, I shared with Sashikala, the remarks of Sri Bhagavan about the conducive food of true sadhaks, which, I am sure, will remain a permanent guidance to all aspiring seekers. Sri Bhagavan usually ate like all others - in the dining hall. An attendant once asked as to whether the rich food and varieties that were continuously being served at the Ashram, were conducive to sadhana. Sri Bhagavan first countered, “Why complain about anybody or about anything, especially the food that is given to you? One is always free to limit the quantity of the in-take. Also, if the preparation has more spice or salt, one can add hot water to it, dilute it and eat it without any complaint. Never complain about food!” After a pause, he consolingly added, “For a true seeker doing sadhana, a little rice and rasam (pepper water–melagutanni) are more than sufficient. Even a serious sadhaka, occasionally needs something palatable. If he continues to eat only bland food, he may get aversion to food. The tongue needs a little taste and the body system needs a little nutrition for sustenance. Rasam which is very watery, also contains the essence of the pulses in addition to some spices and salt. Rice gives strength. That is sufficient for a sadhaka. In addition to this, whatever he eats will bring about only illness and ailments to the sadhaka.”
Sri Bhagavan would take the little rice on his leaf plate add rasam, make it into a thin paste and dilute it further by adding more and more hot water. Having done this, he would scoop this mixture with his right palm and eat it! Never on his leaf plate was even a grain left over. The leaf-plate he had eaten from, always looked fresh and unused!
“ …..would take the little rice on his leaf plate add rasam…..”
After I narrated this to Sashikala, at about 2.30 that afternoon, there was a knock on my door. It was the affectionate girl -- NEERU -- with a big cup of rasam for me. She explained, “Mataji wanted this to be given to you. Please drink it.” I asked her what the matter was. She replied, “Oh! When Sashikala told Mataji about Sri Bhagavan recommending rasam, Mataji refused to eat the lunch that was already prepared. Instead, she asked us to prepare rasam and further told us that she would henceforth take only rasam and rice, as advised by her ‘grandfather’ ! She also wanted us to prepare a lot of rasam and to distributed it to every resident of the ashram.” I was thrilled - what prompt compliance and what great humility! No need to repeat here that when I went to Mataji the next morning, her first query to me was, “Did you drink the rasam, yesterday?”
This rasam episode is a practical, useful and vital guidance for all true seekers across the world. Seekers in the West may not get ‘rice and rasam’, but they can minimize their intake of rich food by having a few slices of bread and a soup ! This is a clear instruction from Sri Bhagavan and fully approved and followed meticulously by Pujya Mataji. Mature seekers should turn their full attention to the practice of Self-Enquiry or whatever be their mode of sadhana, and consciously refrain from rich and varied food. Of course, one may occasionally indulge – at unavoidable parties; and, when guests come home or when on a holiday !
Mataji made me stay with her for two full months. When my father sent a letter requesting her to send me back, she asked me to return. The next day, when I went to her, she asked me, “I feel you want to say something to me! Child! Please go ahead and tell me!” Though I was longing to do so I was reluctant, considering her ill health. Understanding my predicament, she gestured me to come closer, touched my head and told me to get my doubt cleared. Moved to tears, I opened my heart out, “Mataji! More than twenty five years ago, you were gracious enough to guide me on sadhana and life. You have protected me as you had assured. There arose no need for me to come to you for either additional personal guidance or any sort of clarification. Everything went off very smoothly. You literally proved that though you were hundreds of miles away, you were with me whenever a need arose. By your Grace, I could do things with a clear understanding that it is you -- my Pujya Mataji -- who is guiding my actions.
“Sri Ramanasramam, which was in debt when I went there for good, is now prosperous. With regular inflow of donations, many guest rooms and guest houses for sadhakas to stay in were built. Many important manuscripts from the archives have been brought out as books. The Ashram journal, The Mountain Path , was started and through its pages, the name and teachings of Sri Bhagavan are spreading across the world. Old devotees were requested to write down their reminiscences of Sri Bhagavan and most of them have already been brought out as books -- all of them are very popular with devotees.
“Mataji! You especially commanded me to bring back as residents all the Old Devotees of Sri Bhagavan, who had moved out of Sri Ramanasramam, look after them well and attend to their needs. I am happy to report that nearly forty to fifty Old Devotees have thus been taken care of. Not only were their daily needs met, but during their last days they were given the required medical care. And, once they chose to drop their bodies, I helped carry their bodies to the burial ground and had them buried or cremated, according to their wish. Now, only two more Old Devotees are left. When they also attain the lotus feet of Satguru Ramana, my work at the Ashram will be over. After that, I want to totally dedicate myself to inner sadhana, as taught by Sri Bhagavan. I want – as advised by you -- to become a ‘nobody’. Mataji! Let me dissolve, disappear as an unknown entity, seriously seeking the Truth. I want to be relieved of all responsibilities and single-mindedly pursue my sadhana. Please bless me that I become absolutely free - spiritually, mentally and physically!”
Mataji asked me to come still closer, took my head on her lap, and said, “Who are the two devotees still alive and how old are they?” I replied, “One is Kunju Swami and the other is Ramaswamy Pillai. The former is 94 years old and the latter 96 years old! Both are remarkably agile and healthy. I love and revere them. I do not want them to leave me. They are so precious!” [ Kunju Swami passed away in 1992 and Ramaswamy Pillai, in 1995 ]
Kunju Swami
Pujya Mataji touched my head again and said in a very firm tone, “My child! I will grant you that state of total freedom. It is my responsibility! But, there are a few things yet to be completed by you, through you. After that, you will be free. Until then, be patient and attend to the work entrusted to you. Face all problems with fortitude. Bear all forms of insults, acts of ingratitude and deprivation - all these you will have to face. They will only strengthen you and prepare you to pursue the arduous sadhana that you have chosen. Never lose heart, my child ! Remember! I am with you, all the time! My blessings are fully on you! You are ever blessed by Pujya Sri Bhagavanji !”
Ramaswamy Pillai
I got up with intense emotion and repeatedly prostrated to Mataji. My gratitude brimmed over and my eyes were filled with tears, which blurred that most beautiful divine form. I went into ecstasy over the inspiring assurance given me by Mataji. She is the Holy Mother, indeed!
From the time I came back from Anandashram and until I left the Ramanasramam management, a lot of external disturbance I had to face, did hurt me deeply. However, I was also fortunate to be aware that in the midst of uncertainties, a thin filament of dispassion, one-pointedness and inner stability was getting stronger inside me. The potent words of Pujya Mataji, “They will only strengthen you and prepare you well to pursue the arduous sadhana that you have chosen,” were happily realised as prophetic!
The tragedy of it all was that many of those who were very close to me all those years, turned against me. Yet, again, as assured by Mataji, she stood by my side protecting me -- though imperceptibly -- in the form of a few remarkably dedicated friends; and more especially, through the Siddha Purusha Yogi Ramsuratkumar -- her devout disciple -- who unfailingly extended support and protection to me, during this period of ‘the dark night of the soul ’.
This devout account on Pujya Mataji Krishna Bai, is dedicated to the Universal Divine Mother Principle, whose very ‘Presence’ pours forth Her Grace and Blessings, in abundance, on every one of us -- true spiritual aspirants !