← Treasure Trove of Sri Bhagavan’s Grace

Sankarammal

After my graduation in 1956, I stayed on in Sri Ramanasramam till I would find a job. I was twenty years old at the time; two years went by, and I still did not get a job. Sri Bhagavan made me His apprentice! I was asked to attend on the devotees, the Sages and Saints who came to the Ashram. My school teacher, Pundit T. K. Sunderesa Iyer took on himself the task of giving me this training. He not only introduced me to Saints and Sages, he also introduced me to the Old Devotees of Sri Bhagavan.

It was then that I noticed Sankarammal who was then in her sixties. She was always seated in a corner. She hardly uttered a word. (In fact, she didn’t even speak much with Sri Bhagavan when He was still in the body. There was a reason for this. Sri Bhagavan poured His Grace on her by His mere Glance, so there was no necessity for words.) Physically unattractive, she was a thin, dark skinned lady with a dour demeanour. As she was not sociable, nobody approached her. In spite of all this and perhaps because of Sri Bhagavan’s Grace, I was always attracted towards her. I would sometimes enter the kitchen and sit next to her, but she would remain silent. Finally, one day, I told her, “Tell me about Sri Bhagavan.” I persisted till she ultimately opened up.

She said, “Sri Bhagavan’s Silence was His Direct Teaching. He taught Self-Enquiry to those who could not comprehend His Silence; so Self-Enquiry actually takes a secondary place as far as His Teaching is concerned. He imparted His Teaching of Silence by His mere Grace filled Glance. This is the look that Muruganar and others refer to as His “Glance of Grace”.

“There was never a need to talk to Sri Bhagavan. He made me mature gradually and steadily. All of Sri Bhagavan’s devotees extol Sri Bhagavan’s Look of Grace; however, even that Look was an external expression of His Inner Silence. Silence was the state of Sri Bhagavan; and His Direct Teaching was only through Silence. Those who received His Message of Silence had no need whatsoever to talk to Him, much less a need for His instructions. How can I possibly express in words the mysterious working of Sri Bhagavan’s Silence?”

I was not prepared to leave her in peace! I was drawn towards her like an iron filing to a magnet. I noticed that she was always tranquil and quiet. She did a meticulous job in the kitchen and never stirred out of it. I was insistent in my questioning. I always asked her, “What state are you in? You are not in a state of samadhi because you are very active. You are open-eyed, yet in a state of silence. What is that state? Will you please tell me?” Sankarammal was not only astute, but stern. She was totally lost in her work. She did her work with great care and focus. She was never found talking to anyone. These made others avoid her, but it had the reverse effect on me! I was strongly drawn towards her.

The more I became acquainted with her, the more I came to hold her in higher esteem. I was convinced that she was an extraordinary person, and therefore I requested her to tell me the secret of her perfect equipoise. After several persistent efforts, she finally relented. She revealed, “I was myself puzzled at this Inner Felicity that I have and which is extolled in our Scriptures. I was doubtful about this state because, you see, I am an ordinary woman. The Scriptures state that even Sages and Saints perform penance for years before attaining this Blissful State. I wondered, am I really in that State?” Bogged down by such doubts, but unsure of whom to ask, she waited for the opportune moment.

One day, after breakfast, she found herself alone with Sri Bhagavan. She was pondering on how to find out from Him whether she was genuinely in that extraordinary, tranquil state. But, how does one ask? A truly realized soul will not put forth questions like, ‘Am I in that state of Realization?’ As Sankarammal prostrated before Sri Bhagavan, she felt a verse of Kaivalya Navaneetam spring from within her. The verse was the one in which the Guru asks his disciple to come out with what he had understood. The disciple addresses the Guru with folded hands thus: “O Lord! You are the Reality, the Truth, remaining as my very innermost Self, ruling me during all my countless births. Glory to you, who have taken a human form to redeem me through your Teaching and grant me this Perfect State of Inner Felicity. I do not see how I can repay your Grace for helping to liberate me. Glory, glory, more glory, to your Holy Feet!”

When she recited this verse, Sri Bhagavan looked at her with compassion and said, “What is there to doubt?” and then continued, “Yes! Yes! The reply is in the very next verse.” The next verse says that the Guru was ecstatic after listening to the explanation of the disciple. The Guru bid him to come near and embraced the disciple and said, “To stay fixed in the Self, in the state of this Inner Felicity without experiencing the three obstacles of ‘ignorance’, ‘uncertainty’ and ‘wrong knowledge’ is the highest recompense you can pay me.” Sankarammal looked at Sri Bhagavan, and Sri Bhagavan again looked at her steadily for a few minutes. Sankarammal’s eyes were teeming with tears as she repeatedly prostrated before Him.

(There is a translation of this book in English. I would strongly recommend that everyone read this dialogue between the Guru and the disciple. This small book is in two parts. The first part describes the Guru giving instructions to the disciple about the ‘I AM’ experience, and the disciple grasping it. In the second part, the Guru asks the disciple to explain to him what he had understood. The explanation given is not an intellectual one, but an experiential one. That is why Kaivalya Navaneetam is so important.)

She told me, “Ever since, I have been in that State. There are no thoughts.”

No matter how much we read — whether it is about the Teachings of Jesus Christ, or the Buddha or Ramana Maharshi — we always maintain a distance from the Teachings, because we think that it is not possible for us to follow the Teachings. This is the intellectual limitation of human beings. We tell ourselves, “It is possible only for Jesus Christ, the Buddha and Sri Ramana to be so, but do I stand any chance?” I had the good fortune of being in the proximity of Sankarammal till her end, so I was able to imbibe much from her. She lived the Truth, and therefore, I received a lot of clarity from her.

Once, I requested Sankarammal to select some significant verses composed by Sri Bhagavan to help me in my sadhana. Instantly, she sang two verses in Tamil from Sri Bhagavan’s Marital Garland of Letters:

(v.79) “Let me not like a ship without a captain flounder in the storm. Guard me with your Grace, O Arunachala!” (v.81) “Don’t be a mirror held in front of a noseless person. Lift me up and embrace me, O Arunachala!”

Even before I could ask her about their significance, she explained, “Initially, seekers feel two deficiencies in themselves. One becomes conscious of the lack of perfection in oneself, and secondly, one doesn’t understand how to overcome the insurmountable obstacles one faces while doing sadhana. Both plunge the seeker into desperation and possibility into depression. With these two verses, Sri Bhagavan removes such apparent fears. Total surrender to the Higher Power is the only panacea for all spiritual illnesses. If Wisdom is compared to pure milk or nectar, surrender is the vessel which holds it, preserves it and makes it one’s own. Surrender helps one plunge into one’s Inner Being.”

Sankarammal was fully conscious when she died. She closed her eyes and gave up her body with a smile! Death did not terrify her. When she was asked to give her blessings, she smiled and said, “What is this talk of giving and receiving? Remain in the State of Inner Felicity that you already ARE, and always ARE in.”

Manni Patti and Sankarammal were in our house in their last days. Manni Patti died the previous day and the very next day Sankaramma dropped her body.

Both blessed me by giving me the Golden Opportunity of carrying their Sacred Body to Yama Lingam and putting fire on their Hearts, chanting “Arunachala Siva, Arunachala Siva” and witnessing the Glory of Fire-God accepting their bodies and absorbing them into Father Arunachala!

No more birth for Manni Patti and Sankaramma!

ANNAMALAIKKU AROHARA !

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Inside the Old Ashram Kitchen