In plain words
Then Vivekānanda told him, ‘Not pencil, Swami, pension,’ he said. Keep your language to yourself; my language is my own, and for me it is pencil. I need not follow your language. I have a heart. I have a mind. I have a mouth. I have my own feeling. I will follow my own feeling; follow it if you like, otherwise go away; for me it is pencil. Such an innocent he was, bless him. But in him the Viveka that he must reach God surged like a flood. From the moment he rose at dawn until he closed his eyes at night, he waited for the darśan of Kṛṣṇa, of that Kṛṣṇa, wondering where He would appear. He kept waiting. At night, after eating and before lying down, he would look about in every direction for a minute. ‘Bah! Today too has gone to waste. This whole day has been wasted. Kṛṣṇa did not appear.’ And so he would lie down in despair. In ever so many ways, to win Kṛṣṇa, he made efforts of many kinds, bless him. Everyone, Mathuranātha too, reviled him, saying that he was simply entering a void, without any power of discrimination. One day, since Kṛṣṇa, it is said, stays close to Rādhā, he went quietly to Mathuranātha's house, meaning to become Rādhā himself. ‘I want some bangles and a sari,’ he said. Thinking it must be for dressing the Goddess, Mathuranātha gave him a good sari and sent him off. He took it away. Mathuranātha told Rāmakṛṣṇa that he would come at ten o'clock for prasād. He went and put on the sari. He put on the bangles. He picked all the flowers from the flowering plants in that compound. Mathuranātha came in at ten o'clock. He looked, and thinking some women were there, he went back. Rāmakṛṣṇa went inside. He decorated Kṛṣṇa with all those flowers. He embraced the image, ‘Kṛṣṇa!’, fell at its feet and was lost to himself. I am Rādhā, You are Kṛṣṇa. Rādhākṛṣṇa, Rādhākṛṣṇa. He was mad, bless him. Taking earth in one hand and gold in the other, he would think, ‘Earth, gold; earth, gold: both are one.’ In the same way he was absorbed in the feeling that Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, Rādhākṛṣṇa, Rādhākṛṣṇa, are one.
To the learned of today that looks like madness. They take it for hysteria. Whatever these people may think, Rāmakṛṣṇa enjoyed Ānanda. That is just what we need. What does it matter what anyone thinks? ‘Be it a shed or an inn, if sleep comes that is enough, my friend!’ they used to say. To attain that Divinity is what we need. There, the power of discrimination is not needed. There, it does not work. Then Mathuranātha came at eleven o'clock. Rāmakṛṣṇa took everything off, having enjoyed that Ānanda, and came out to the front again. ‘Mathuranātha! You said you would come at ten; why did you not come?’ Rāmakṛṣṇa asked. ‘I came at ten, Rāmakṛṣṇa; there were some women inside the compound. So I went away,’ he said.