59. ब्रह्मतत्त्वानुसन्धाता Brahma-tattvānusandhātā

One who was absorbed in cogitation on the Truth that is Brahman

Brahma-tattva means the Truth that is Brahman, and anu-sandhāna, deep cogitation or absorption in cogitation. When His Holiness was running on sixteen, He was initiated into contemplation on the Ātman by His Guru. This contemplation became effortless in a few months, prior to His completing sixteen years of age.

It was when His Holiness was eighteen that, as described under nāma 10, Lord Śiva manifested in front of Him and instructed Him to commence nirguṇa-dhyāna on the Supreme. The next day His Holiness commenced meditation on the Supreme Reality as devoid of attributes, supported by deep cogitation on Brahman, which led to His becoming established in Brahman.

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What follows is His Holiness’s recollection of how His Guru initiated Him into contemplation on the Ātman and His account of how He engaged in such contemplation thereafter.

“When staying in Narasimhavana with my Guru, I used to go every evening to behold Śāradāmbā and remain there for up to an hour. On my return, He once asked me, ‘You have crossed the river and come. What thought arose in your mind?’ ‘What thought?’ I wondered and replied, ‘I perceived various objects.’ He asked, ‘What was new?’ I replied, ‘Nothing. I saw what was in front of me.’ ‘Must you see whatever is in front of your eyes?’ He queried. I said, ‘If the eyes be kept closed (to abstain from perceiving objects), it would not be possible to walk.’ He said, ‘You must see and yet not see,’ to which I queried, ‘How is that possible?’

“To this, He said, ‘ātmāmbhodhes-taraṅgo'smyahamiti gamane¹⁵⁰ (When walking, one should think that one is a wave in the ocean that is the Ātman).’ This is how we should conduct ourselves. When we get up from a seated position and start walking, the feeling should not be, ‘We are walking and going somewhere.’ In the big ocean - the Ātman - a wave has arisen. That wave is moving forward. This is the supposition. There is no difference between the wave and the ocean. Yet, because one walks (and thus moves forward like the wave), one should think of oneself as the wave. When the occasion to walk arises, one should contemplate, ‘I am a wave in the ocean of bliss, in the ocean of the Ātman.’

“His advice surprised me. He went on, ‘At all times - even when you talk to someone - repeat this idea in the mind.’ With practice, one uninterruptedly carries on this repetition even while speaking. Experience confirms this.

“What should be the thought when one is seated? He advised, ‘bhāvayannāsanasthaḥ saṁvitsūtrānuviddho maṇirahamiti vā'smī (When seated, one should think that one is a gem strung on the string of consciousness).’ A gem has been strung on the thread of knowledge. The gem cannot be removed; the thread is made of unbreakable consciousness. I am that gem. Contemplation must be done in this manner.’

“(My Guru further said:) ‘indriyārthapratītau draṣṭā(dṛṣṭo)'smy-ātmāvalokād-iti (When perceiving sense-objects through the senses, one should think that one is seen since the Ātman is beheld).’ Whenever some object is seen, the reflection should not be, ‘This object is now visible.’ One must think, ‘Aha! Objectless consciousness has now become associated with objects. The Ātman was manifest earlier but now its manifestation has waxed.’ On receiving a blow, we become markedly aware of the body, do we not? We normally do have awareness of the body but this awareness increases when we are beaten. Similar is the case here. Accordingly, even when perceiving some external object, one should cogitate that apprehension of the Ātman has occurred.

“(My Guru further said:) ‘śayana-vidhau magna ānanda-sindhau (When lying down, one should think that one is immersed in the ocean of bliss). Do not just fall asleep. When lying down, contemplate, ‘I am now immersed in an ocean of bliss’ and, with this feeling, begin to sleep.’

“Doing so is very good. Whoever wants can test the difference between simply lying down and going to sleep and sleeping after voluntarily eradicating all thoughts from the mind while lying down, generating a feeling of bliss and retaining it for some minutes till sleep overtakes one. The great joy that this approach to sleep yields becomes apparent once it is experienced for a few days.

“(My Guru concluded:) ‘antarniṣṭho mumukṣuḥ sa khalu tanubhṛtāṁ yo nayatyevamāyuḥ.’ Amongst the embodied, that seeker of liberation who leads one’s life contemplating in this fashion is indeed the one who abides within, in the Ātman. Therefore, when walking, sitting, perceiving objects and even when lying down, this is how we must conduct our life.’

“This is the advice My Guru gave me. I was seated in front of my Guru when He gave this explanation. No sooner had He completed His instruction about the attitude to be maintained when seated than I strove to put this teaching into practice. I did not think it appropriate to delay doing so even slightly. However, though I promptly generated the thought, ‘I am a gem strung in the thread of consciousness,’ the intensity of my contemplation was poor. A reason was that I was then primarily concentrating on what my Guru was telling me about the attitudes relating to perception and sleep. Further, while karma-yoga and japa had become effortless for me at that time, such contemplation was new to me. As I walked to my room after my Guru had finished, I contemplated, ‘I am a wave in the blissful ocean that is the Ātman.’ The intensity of this contemplation was much better.

“While I sincerely strove to practise what my Guru had taught Me, I did experience two difficulties. This contemplation clashed now and then with my karma-yoga (involving dedicating all actions and their fruits to God). My Guru resolved this difficulty by telling me two days later, ‘The time has come for you to go beyond the stage of karma-yoga, which you have mastered. Now, direct your efforts to contemplating on the Ātman.’ The second difficulty I had was that this contemplation partially came in the way of my enjoying the presence of Śāradāmbā in the temple, mentally worshipping Narasiṁha and the like. This is because I did these while seated and now I had been advised to contemplate when seated that I am a gem strung in the thread of consciousness.

“My Guru Himself clarified, ‘While the knowledge of the Ātman of a jīvanmukta (one liberated while living) remains undisturbed by any thoughts and bodily activity, the case of contemplation by a spiritual aspirant is different. Hence, for the present, do your mental worship and the like as before and practise contemplation on the Ātman at other times.’

“Though I no more had any fundamental problems, my contemplation suffered from occasional discontinuities. Such breaks mainly occurred when I was speaking and when I got carried away by the beauty of the river and the surroundings. One evening when I went to my Guru’s presence, He asked, ‘Where are you coming from?’ ‘From Ambā’s temple,’ I replied. ‘What did you see on the way?’ He queried. A break had occurred in my contemplation while crossing the river Tuṅgā. Understanding the thrust of His question, I said that I beheld fish playing in the Tuṅgā. ‘Did you contemplate correctly at that time?’ was my Guru’s next query. ‘I was contemplating before and after that but, for a few moments, the process became disrupted,’ I admitted. My Guru said, ‘Never give room for such breaks.’ I hung my head in shame and resolved that I should not be such a useless disciple. Thereafter, by my Guru’s grace, such discontinuities in contemplation did not occur. In a few months, the four forms of contemplation became effortless.”

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[The following are representative extracts from the anusandhāna on the Brahma-tattva that His Holiness did from the day after His Śiva-darśana, leading to His attaining savikalpa-samādhi on the attribute-less Supreme.]

On the evening of 6^th December, 1935, His Holiness reached His meditation spot on the hill and sat down with the intention of focussing on the Supreme Brahman, with the scripture as the authoritative basis and corroborative reasoning as an aid. He started by calling to mind three profound statements of the Taittirīya-upaniṣad, which He knew by rote. The first of these conveys, “He who knows Brahman attains the highest.”¹⁵¹ The import of the second is, “On realising the bliss of Brahman, the enlightened man is not afraid of anything.”¹⁵² The meaning of the third is, “For, when this (ignorant) man perceives even the slightest variety in Brahman, then (because of that perception of difference) fear arises in him.”¹⁵³ He then reflected on them as under.

“From these scriptural declarations, it follows that on realising Brahman, I will attain unity with Brahman, the highest. On the other hand, as long as I do not realise Brahman and I perceive duality, bondage will not cease. Knowledge does not actually make or modify an object. It only removes the ignorance relating to the object. So, even now, I am indeed Brahman and the world has no existence apart from It. It is only because of ignorance that I seem to be otherwise and perceive duality. Else, there is no question of my realisation of Brahman leading to my becoming Brahman and to the cessation of diversity as declared by the scripture.”

His Holiness then cogitated on the reasons why the body, the vital force, organs, mind, the agent denoted by ‘I’ and the intellect cannot be the Ātman (vide nāma 19) and concluded that therefore He is indeed their witness and hence distinct from them all. He then continued His cogitation and concluded, “Being subject to annulment, the states of waking, dream and deep sleep are false. I am unstained by them like the desert by mirages. There is no ground to presume either that there is any difference in the consciousness that shines in the three states or that it is subject to any change. This unchanging consciousness cannot be other than myself. On the authority of the Śruti, I am the Supreme Brahman.”

Moving on to the nature of Brahman as made known in the scripture, He recalled the words of the Taittirīya-upaniṣad, ‘satyaṁ jñānam-anantaṁ brahma (Brahman is Truth, Knowledge and Infinite)’. Taking up each of the three characteristics of the Supreme spoken of, He pondered on them and concluded, “Brahman, which is absolute existence, pure consciousness and infinite, shines as the Self of every being. Though appearing as the world, It is non-dual and unaffected in any way. As taught by the scripture, I am indeed the Supreme Brahman, the Ātman of all. I never was, am or will be otherwise.”

His aforesaid enquiry into the Truth lasted for about 45 minutes and resulted in great clarity of understanding, freedom from doubts, and conviction. Though He did not choose to keep His eyes closed during His deep reflection, He hardly noticed anything external. He felt ready to deeply focus on the Supreme. He initiated His meditation and mentally uttered the words, “aham-eva paraṁ brahma vāsudevākhyam-avyayam,”¹⁵⁴ as they captured the essence of His scripture-based reflection; these words convey, “I am indeed the Supreme Brahman, the One free from decay and known as Vāsudeva (He who resides in and shines in all).” Without repeating the words, He strongly held on to the idea conveyed. Immediately, He felt himself expanding and becoming pervasive like space. By countering the notion of being limited by the body and the like, this experience intensified the impact of His earlier contemplation. A great wave of joy arose and submerged Him and He remained in this state of deep meditation for what seemed a trice, but was actually about 30 to 45 minutes.

He mentally repeated the enquiry of that day twice in the course of the next day, the 7^th of December, and went to His meditation spot as usual in the evening. He pondered on the fact that having falsely identified the Ātman with the mind, one deems oneself to be an agent and treats as valid, notions such as, ‘I see this,’ ‘This is mine,’ ‘I am happy’ and ‘I am unhappy.’ He concluded that decidedly, only right knowledge can annul ignorance and misunderstanding. He reasoned that since the Ātman is the witness of all thoughts, if He would stand back from a thought as a disinterested witness, the thought would be deprived of stimulation and should soon die out. He affirmed to Himself that He was pure consciousness unlimited by space, time and objects and started His meditation. He experienced no difficulty in initiating contemplation on the Ātman as the witness of this desire. Almost immediately thereafter, the mental activity serving as the object vanished. An essentially isolated ‘I’ thought remained. He maintained the attitude of being a witness characterised by pure, unlimited consciousness. Very soon, even the sense of ‘I’ almost completely faded away. The mind was then quite still and no effort was needed to keep it so. Consciousness shone clearly without any object and without limitations. He was overwhelmed by bliss, which was far greater than on the previous evening. The awareness of any distinction between the bliss and Himself was almost absent. About an hour passed thus but He was totally oblivious of the passage of time. As He emerged from this state, His first experience of savikalpa-samādhi on the formless Reality, He gradually became aware of the body.

166 60. Brahma-vidyopadeśakaḥ

Further that evening and over the next two days, He repeatedly attained savikalpa-samādhi on the attribute-less Brahman based on the reasoning of the first day, as the witness of the hue perceived while commencing meditation, and by turning attention to a sentence of Bhagavatpāda’s Pañcīkaraṇa, the passages of which He had deeply considered while reflecting on the Truth. He then called to mind the passage of the Chāndogya-upaniṣad that conveys, “A modification (of clay, such as a pot or jar) has speech as its origin and exists only in name; as clay alone, it is real.”¹⁵⁵ He went on to reflect on it and concluded that every object has existence only as Brahman; the name and form of the object are its illusory aspects. Were such not to be the case, the scripture would not have emphatically taught that on knowing Brahman, everything becomes known, just as on knowing clay, all products of clay become known. Having reflected in this manner, He started His meditation, taking the sun as the object of relevance and ignoring names and forms and focussing on just its being, attained savikalpa-samādhi. The next morning He attained savikalpa-samādhi by focussing on the being of the wall in front of Him in His room.

In the evening on the hill, He mentally said, “sarvādhiṣṭhānabhūta-sanmātra-brahmāsmi”; this means, “I am Brahman of the nature of absolute existence, the substratum of everything.” He intensified the resulting notion by disregarding names and forms in general, and attained savikalpa-samādhi after everything was stripped to bare being without attributes, and His sense of individuality faded with an upsurge in the intensity of concentration. The next morning, 10^th December, after the apprehension of a hue, He promptly became absorbed in the Supreme and was in savikalpa-samādhi, for since the previous evening, attention to the Truth had been persisting effortlessly, being uninterrupted even during dreams.

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