CHAPTER 6 Contemplating the Self
[The following is my rendering into English of a portion of His Holiness’s benedictory address delivered in Kannada, at the Sringeri Shankara Math, Bengaluru, on September 5, 1987. This discourse was the last of a series of six by His Holiness on His Guru. The occasion was a “Smaraṇa-Saptāha (A week of Recollection)” organised at the Math in which various speakers talked about H.H. Jagadguru Śrī Candraśekhara Bhāratī.]
“When staying in Narasimhavana with my Guru, I used to go every evening to behold Śāradāmbā and remain there for up to an hour.
“On my return, He once asked me, ‘You have crossed the river and come. What thought arose in your mind?’
“ ‘What thought?’ I wondered and replied, ‘I perceived various objects.’
“(He:) What was new?
(I:) Nothing. I saw what was in front of me.
(He:) Must you see whatever is in front of your eyes?
(I:) If the eyes be kept closed (to abstain from perceiving objects), it would not be possible to walk.
(He:) You must see and yet not see.
(I:) How is that possible?
His Holiness crossing river Tuṅgā
“To this, He said, ‘ātmāmbhodhes-taraṅgo’smy-aham-iti gamane (When walking, one should think that one is a wave in the ocean that is the Ātman).’ This is how we should conduct ourselves. When we get up from a seated position and start walking, the feeling should not be, ‘We are walking and going somewhere.’ In the big ocean - the Ātman - a wave has arisen. That wave is moving forward. This is the supposition. There is no difference between the wave and the ocean. Yet, because one walks (and thus moves forward like the wave), one should think of oneself as the wave. When the occasion to walk arises, one should contemplate, ‘I am a wave in the ocean of the bliss, in the ocean of the Ātman.’
“His advice surprised me. He went on, ‘At all times - even when you talk to someone - repeat this idea in the mind.’ With practice, one uninterruptedly carries on this repetition even while speaking. Experience confirms this.
“I am a wave in the ocean called Ātman”
“What should be the thought when one is seated? He advised, ‘bhāvayann-āsanasthaḥ saṁvit-sūtrānuviddho maṇir-aham-iti vā’smi (When seated, one should think that one is a gem strung on the string of consciousness). A gem has been strung on the thread of knowledge. The gem cannot be removed; the thread is made of unbreakable consciousness. I am that gem. Contemplation must be done in this manner.’
“I am a gem strung on the string of Consciousness”
Whenever some object is seen, the reflection should not be, ‘This object is now visible.’ One must think, ‘Aha! Objectless consciousness has now become associated with objects. The Ātman was manifest earlier but now its manifestation has waxed.’
“(My Guru further said:) ‘indriyārtha-pratītau draṣṭo’smy-ātmāvalokād-iti (When perceiving sense-objects through the senses, one should think that one is seen since the Ātman is beheld). Whenever some object is seen, the reflection should not be, ‘This object is now visible.’ One must think, ‘Aha! Objectless consciousness has now become associated with objects. The Ātman was manifest earlier but now its manifestation has waxed.’ On receiving a blow, we become markedly aware of the body; do we not? We normally do have awareness of the body but this awareness increases when we are beaten. Similar is the case here. Accordingly, even when perceiving some external object, one should cogitate that apprehension of the Ātman has occurred.
“(My Guru further said:) ‘śayana-vidhau magna ānanda-sindhau (When lying down, one should think that one is immersed in the ocean of bliss). Do not just fall asleep. When lying down, contemplate, ‘I am now immersed in an ocean of bliss’ and, with this feeling, begin to sleep.’
“Doing so is very good. Whoever wants can test the difference between simply lying down and going to sleep and sleeping after voluntarily eradicating all thoughts from the mind while lying down, generating a feeling of bliss and retaining it for some minutes till sleep overtakes one. The great joy that this approach to sleep yields becomes apparent once it is experienced for a few days.
“(My Guru concluded:) ‘antar-niṣṭho mumukṣuḥ sa khalu tanubhṛtāṁ yo nayaty-evam-āyuḥ. Amongst the embodied, that seeker of liberation who leads one’s life contemplating in this fashion is indeed the one who abides within, in the Ātman. Therefore, when walking, sitting, perceiving objects and even when lying down, this is how we must conduct our life.’
“I am now immersed in an ocean of bliss”
“This is the advice My Guru gave me.”
When His Holiness first told me, in 1980, about His Guru’s aforesaid advice, which was centred on the 12th verse of Bhagavatpāda’s Śataślokī, He compassionately graced me with the following additional information:
His Holiness: “I was seated in front of my Guru when He gave this explanation. No sooner had He completed His instruction about the attitude to be maintained when seated than I strove to put this teaching into practice. I did not think it appropriate to delay doing so even slightly. However, though I promptly generated the thought, ‘I am a gem strung in the thread of consciousness,’ the intensity of my contemplation was poor. A reason was that I was then primarily concentrating on what my Guru was telling me about the attitudes relating to perception and sleep. Further, while karma-yoga and japa had become effortless for me at that time, such contemplation was new to me. As I walked to my room after my Guru had finished, I contemplated, ‘I am a wave in the blissful ocean that is the Ātman.’ The intensity of this contemplation was much better.
“While I sincerely strove to practise what my Guru had taught Me, I did experience two difficulties. This contemplation clashed now and then with my karma-yoga (involving dedicating all actions and their fruits to God). My Guru resolved this difficulty by telling me two days later, ‘The time has come for you to go beyond the stage of karma-yoga, which you have mastered. Now, direct your efforts to contemplating on the Ātman.’ The second difficulty I had was that this contemplation partially came in the way of my enjoying the presence of Śāradāmbā in the temple, mentally worshipping Narasiṁha and the like. This is because I did these while seated and now I had been advised to contemplate when seated that I am a gem strung in the thread of consciousness. My Guru Himself clarified, ‘While the knowledge of the Ātman of a jīvanmukta (one liberated while living) remains undisturbed by any thoughts and bodily activity, the case of contemplation by a spiritual aspirant is different. Hence, for the present, do your mental worship and the like as before and practise contemplation on the Ātman at other times.’
“The time has come for you to go beyond the stage of karma-yoga, which you have mastered. Now, direct your efforts to contemplating on the Ātman.”
- The senior Jagadguru
“Though I no more had any fundamental problems, my contemplation suffered from occasional discontinuities. Such breaks mainly occurred when I was speaking and when I got carried away by the beauty of the river and the surroundings. One evening when I went to my Guru’s presence, He asked, ‘Where are you coming from?’ ‘From Ambā’s temple,’ I replied. ‘What did you see on the way?’ He queried. A break had occurred in my contemplation while crossing the river Tuṅgā. Understanding the thrust of His question, I said that I beheld fish playing in the Tuṅgā. ‘Did you contemplate correctly at that time?’ was my Guru’s next query. ‘I was contemplating before and after that but, for a few moments, the process became disrupted,’ I admitted. My Guru said, ‘Never give room for such breaks.’ I hung my head in shame and resolved that I should not be such a useless disciple. Thereafter, by my Guru’s grace, such discontinuities in contemplation did not occur. In a few months, the four forms of contemplation became effortless.”
River Tuṅgā
{The senior Jagadguru advised His Holiness about the fourfold contemplation on the Ātman in the year Āngīrasa, which ended on March 27, 1933. The contemplation advocated became effortless for His Holiness sometime before His birthday on āśvina-kṛṣṇa-caturdaśī in the cyclical year Śrīmukha, that is, prior to His completing 16 years of age on 18th October, 1933.}