WITH MOTHER KRISHNA BAI
Mother Krishna Bai of Anandashram is perhaps the most unrecognized saint of our times. She hid herself tactfully and completely behind the glorious form of her guru, Swami Ramdas. Yet, when I approached him for practical, spiritual guidance, Swami Ramdas himself directed me to her. The complete and compassionate saint that Swami Ramdas ever is, drowned me in the ocean of love which adorned the human form of mother Krishna Bai!
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In 1960, when I had given up the world and came for good to Bhagavan’s ashram, I felt I needed spiritual guidance. I approached my teacher, T.K. Sundaresa Iyer. He directed me specifically to Swami Ramdas, in far off Kerala. When I reached Anandashram, Swami Ramdas directed me to the holy mother, his spiritual consort. I am purposely mentioning all these details so that seekers have the right understanding that, once one has stepped into the river of spirituality, one should allow oneself to be tossed around, hither and thither, like a ball in a game of soccer. This is because the teaching need not necessarily be only through verbal, textual and scriptural statements. It can be through shocks, beatings, disappointment, and even, failure and pain.
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When I knelt before mother Krishna Bai, eagerly waiting to receive her spiritual instructions, she bent and touched my head. Then, came the bomb, “It is unfortunate that you are born in the family of a very great saint!” After a pause she hardened her voice and said, “People will tell you that you are already realized, as you are born into Bhagavan’s family. They may say that those born in a saint’s family, up to seven generations before and seven generations after, are already granted liberation. They may even quote the scriptures in support. But don’t believe any one of them. God is always very impartial. His holy feet, or Self-realization, can be earned only through arduous sadhana. Every being, including those born in a saint’s family, has to start sadhana from point zero. No one can begin it form point forty, fifty, or sixty. And never, ever, from point hundred!”
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The form of grace that she ever IS, continued, “You have been entrusted to me by Swami Ramdas, my guru. I will guide you. Your sadhana is to bring back to Ramanasramam, all those old devotees of Bhagavan who have left and are now staying outside Arunachala. Go in search of them and bring them to live again in the ashram. Your sadhana is to attend to all their needs and look after them throughout the rest of their life. I will be with you, supporting you in this strenuous sadhana. So start from zero. I will take you to hundred. The work of completion is my duty. Don’t worry about it. I am always with you!”
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For the next twenty nine years, I had no need to go to her for further instructions. The work entrusted to me absorbed my whole attention. I was happy all through my sadhana. However, in 1989, I went to her when she was bed–ridden. She made me stay with her for two months, showering her affection and blessings on me. One day, she called me and asked, “How many old devotees of Bhagavan did you look after?” “Nearly sixty of them. Not only did I attend on them, I also carried their dead bodies to the burial ground and either cremated or buried them.” “How many are still left?” “Only two!” “Who are they?” “Kunju Swami and Ramaswami Pillai,” I answered. She looked immensely pleased. When I prayed to her to shower her blessings on me, she fondly touched my head and said, “It is my responsibility to take you to final emancipation. Be assured, I am with you always. Pursue Self–enquiry. You are very near the goal. Be happy. There is some more work to be done by you. Remember, completion of your freedom is my task! I bless you, my child!”
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Kunju Swami dropped the body in 1992. Three years later, in 1995, Ramaswami, Pillai died. I interred his body in the tomb. The same day, after the ceremonies were over, an inner voice commanded me to stay alone and intensify my sadhana.
From whom else could the commandment be? Except from the divine mother?
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