Verse 54

आविर्भावतिरोभावैराशापाशविचेष्टनैः ।अहं चिरमहंकारद्विषा समवमोषितः

In plain words

with appearings and vanishings, with the writhing in the noose of hope — I, for so long a time, was utterly plundered by that enemy, ahaṃkāra,