11. From Divine Forms to the Formless Reality

[The following conversation took place at Sringeri in August 1989. Of His own accord, Acharyal told me,”Over the years, either on My own or in response to your questions, I have given you the details of My spiritual life. If there is anything else about it that you would like to know, ask Me without any hesitation. I do not want to keep any aspect of it a secret from you.” Acharyal shed His human form the following month.]

I: In 1935, Acharyal was enjoying dhyāna and samādhi on several forms of Īśvara. Yet, Acharyal suddenly switched from meditation on forms to that on the Formless and quickly attained nirvikalpa-samādhi. Was there anything special that prompted Acharyal to make the change?

Acharyal: Yes. I have not given even a hint about this to anybody so far. Now, I shall tell you everything. This shall be the first and the last time that I shall be doing so. So long as I am alive, nothing of this should be mentioned by you to anybody.

It was a śukla-dasamī. That day, I felt like spending some more time than usual in meditation on the hill. As I was preparing to set out for My meditation spot so as to begin My meditation about one and a half hours before sunset, I was informed that Acharyal had summoned Me. I promptly went to Acharyal. He was seated alone. I prostrated before Him. He gestured to Me to sit down. On My doing so, He asked, “Were You about to leave for meditation?” I answered in the affirmative. He smiled. Then, for a minute, He said nothing but looked fixedly at My face. Smiling again, He said, “I am glad. You can start.” I prostrated. As I did so, He leaned forward and placed both His hands on My head. He then uttered the mantra,

somewhat loudly, three times while His hands were still on My head. This was unusual. As I got up, I strongly felt, “Today, I must meditate on Śiva.”

I went to My room, picked up My āsana-vastra (cloth spread on seat) and started for the hill. My attendant followed. I was only a short distance away from Sacchidananda Vilas when I heard Acharyal’s clap. It sounded as if it was coming from outside the building. I turned around and noticed that Acharyal was standing in front of Sacchidananda Vilas and looking in My direction. I was about to run towards Him when He gestured that I should proceed as I was doing before. He, however, beckoned to My attendant. I walked rapidly - in those days My walk was almost like a run - and soon reached the base of the hill. I turned to see if the attendant was trying to catch up with Me but he was nowhere around.

The idea of meditating in complete solitude appealed to Me. I quickly climbed the hill. There, as usual, I sat down, facing west. The Malahānikareśvara temple was directly in the line of My sight. The sky was clear, without even the trace of a cloud. Both the sun and the moon were clearly visible. The whole scene was very pretty. Charmed by it, I chanted the “bhūrambhāṁsi..” verse of the Dakṣiṇāmūrti-stotra. {The verse concerned is:

Obeisance to Him whose eight-fold form is all this moving and unmoving universe, appearing as earth, water, fire, air, space, the sun, the moon and the soul; beyond whom, Supreme and All-pervading, nothing else exists for the discerning; to Him who is incarnate in the glorious form of the Guru; to that resplendent Dakṣiṇāmūrti (Śiva.)}

(Acharyal:) Having adopted the siddhāsana, I mentally offered My namaskāras to Acharyal and Śiva before commencing My meditation.

I directed My gaze to the space between My eyebrows. Keeping My eyes fixed, I mentally chanted “oṁ namaḥ śivāya” That day, I did not chant just the Praṇava. As usual, I felt a strong tingling sensation between My eyebrows. I soon began to behold an attractive and soothing moon-like disc of light within Me in that region. Such a disc had made its appearance only on a few earlier occasions. What manifested often was a blue hue; much less frequently, a green hue used to manifest. With the mind having become very calm and attentive, I imagined my heart-lotus in full bloom. In it, I visualised, in accordance with the “śāntaṁ padmāsanasthaṁ” dhyāna-ślokā, Śiva in association with Pārvatī and possessed of five heads and ten arms.

{The complete verse is:

I salute the Lord of Pārvatī who is tranquil, seated in padmāsana, has the moon in His crest, has five faces (four in the four directions and one upward-turned), has three eyes (per face), bears a trident, thunderbolt, sword, axe and the symbol of granting freedom from fear (open upraised palm) in the (five hands on the) right side and bears a snake, noose, bell, the fire of cosmic dissolution and a goad in the (five hands on the) left side, is variously adorned and resembles (in complexion) a crystal gem.}

(Acharyal:) As I focused on the form, My awareness of the surroundings and the body vanished. Soon, My mental chanting of the Pañcakṣarī-mantra (oṁ namaḥ śivāya) came to a stop and My mind thoroughly locked on to the divine form in the heart. Suddenly, the form became extraordinarily vivid. No effort to concentrate was needed any more. I could then literally experience the immediate presence of Śiva. The affection and smile that I beheld in the Lord’s īśāna-mukha (upward face) in particular still enthral Me. I was overwhelmed with joy.

After about one and a half hours, as I discerned later but what then seemed to Me to be just a moment, I became lightly aware of the body. I opened My eyes. I could see the sun close to the horizon and feel a gentle breeze. I could, at the same time, clearly apprehend the Lord associated with Ambā in My heart-lotus. The Lord appeared to be emerging from within and expanding. A deep long sound of Oṁ was audible. I then definitely beheld Śiva in front of and facing Me. Oh, what a glorious sight that was!

{At this point, Acharyal fell silent for a while, His face flushed with happiness. After over a minute, Acharyal continued but His voice dropped to a whisper and showed unmistakable signs of His entrancement with delight.}

(Acharyal:) Tears of joy flowed from My eyes and My hairs stood on end. The Lord’s lips moved and I heard His very sweet voice. His words were:

Reality here. You will soon become established in Brahman.)

Then Śiva blessed Me by placing His hand on My head. Having done so, He disappeared. How compassionate He is to grace in such abundance one so insignificant and lacking in devotion as I!

No sooner had He vanished than there was a drizzle. In a matter of seconds, the sun set; simultaneously, the light rain stopped. As I have already stated, the sky was quite clear when I sat for meditation. Even when the sun set, clouds were not apparent. The sun having been quite visible when it rained there, to Me it appeared that the Lord was blessing Me with a light bath in the Gaṅgā.

{In 1975, one evening, when Acharyal was taking a walk in the fields of Narasimhavana, it started to drizzle. Acharyal broke into a smile and exclaimed, “Gaṅgā-snāna”. He then explained to me that it has been said that getting wet in rain that falls when the sun can be seen is like bathing in the holy Gaṅgā.}

(Acharyal:) In a state of ecstasy, I began to pay obeisance to and extol Parameśvara through verses that occurred to Me spontaneously. My voice kept choking and had any musician been around, he would have been appalled at My unmusical singing. (Acharyal laughed as He said this.)

I: Would Acharyal grace me with those verses?

Acharyal: I never bothered to put down those verses in writing and do not remember them either. Not attaching any importance to them, I did not subsequently think of and memorise them. They were, after all, just the prattle of an ignorant boy and not the compositions of any mahātman or of literary value. All I am in a position now to tell you about the verses is that there were ten of them and that they were in the bhujanga-prayāta metre. (The bhujanga-prayāta metre comprises four pādās of 12 letters each. The letters of every pādā occur in the repeating sequence “short syllable, long syllable, long syllable”.)

After uttering the verses, I felt an urge to meditate again. As the Lord had directly instructed Me as a Guru, I thought of meditating on Him as Dakṣiṇāmūrti, the Teacher. Mentally chanting the Medha-Dakṣiṇāmūrti-mantra, I visualised Him, in My heart-lotus, with four hands bearing a rosary, a vessel of nectar, a book and the symbol of knowledge.

{The Medha-Dakṣiṇāmūrti-mantra is:

The Dakṣiṇāmūrti-upaniṣad gives the following dhyāna-śloka for this:

I adore Dakṣiṇāmūrti who is of crystal and silver complexion, holds in His lotus-like hands a rosary of pearls, a vessel of nectar, a book and the symbol of knowledge (characterised by the tips of the thumb and index fingers touching and the other three fingers held straight), has a serpent for His girdle, has the moon in His crest, is three-eyed and has donned various ornaments.

Kakṣaṁ appears in place of kakṣyaṁ in the third pāda of the same śloka as given in verse 31 of chapter 19 of the Śāradā-tilaka, an authoritative Tāntric treatise. The meaning of the verse does not change because of this.}

I: Did Acharyal commence the meditation on Dakṣiṇāmūrti by first directing the eyes to between the eyebrows?

Acharyal: No. I directly visualised His form in My heart-lotus. Awareness of the surroundings and the body ceased. Subsequently, the mental chanting of the mantra automatically came to a stop and My focus was just on the form. There were no distracting thoughts of any kind. The meditation was deep, with the form quite clear. When I regained consciousness of the body and opened My eyes, I found no trace of sunlight. The place was, however, illumined by the light of the moon. Stars were visible.

It was only a few moments later that I realised that there was something on My neck. A big cobra had loosely coiled itself around My neck. Its upraised hood was near My right shoulder, facing away from Me. I had meditated on Bhujaṅga-bhūṣana (an epithet of Śiva meaning, “He who has a snake for an ornament”) and now a snake was on My body as an ornament. Taking this as a sign of the Lord’s grace, I felt very happy. I stroked the cobra gently. It seemed to like this and rested its head against My right cheek. After some time - maybe five minutes - the snake slowly uncoiled itself and went away. I got up and walked down the hill, seeing My way in the light of the moon.

At the base of the hill, I found My attendant waiting with a lamp. This was unprecedented, for, on earlier occasions, I was followed up the hill without any lamp by the attendant on duty. On My way back, in response to My question, he said that after calling him, Acharyal had instructed him to wait for Me, with a lamp in hand, at the base of the hill, after two and a half hours. He had been waiting only for some minutes when I descended. It was obvious to Me that Acharyal had accurately foreseen the time I would be spending on the hill. I also discerned that My second session of meditation, which was totally unplanned, must have lasted for almost an hour.

I desired to report the events to Acharyal but since the normal time for My having His darśana would only be the next day after My morning āhnika, I returned to My room. However, in a few moments, I received the message that Acharyal was calling Me. I learnt that Acharyal was engaged in His evening āhnika. I went to His presence and prostrated. After that, I stood silently. He was midway through the performance of a japa. On completing it, He looked at Me with a smile and said, “Today, You have received the very special grace and instruction of Parameśvara. Finally, for a while, You were a bhujaṅgabhūṣaṇa. Is it not?” I answered in the affirmative and added that all this was the consequence of Acharyal’s blessing bestowed before I had left.

As Acharyal had just unmistakably revealed that He was quite aware of what had transpired at the hill, it would have been unwarranted for Me to give any details. Acharyal said, “It is getting late for Your evening bath. You can go for it now and proceed with Your āhnika.”

I prostrated and went straight for My bath.

That night, I had a dream in which I beheld Śiva dancing magnificently as Natarāja, with Ambā looking on. After some time, this scene was replaced by one in which Śiva appeared in conjunction with Ambā as Ardhanārīśwara. In the dream itself, I venerated Śiva-Śaktī by chanting Bhagavatpāda's Ardhanārīśvara-stotra. Thereafter, the scene changed and I lay prostrate before the Lord as Dakṣiṇamūrti seated at the base of a big fig tree. I found Myself merging into the Lord. With My becoming one with the Lord, the dream ended and I woke up. The time was 4.30 in the morning. In the evening of that ekādaśī, I commenced My meditation on the Formless in accordance with the command that I had received from the Lord.

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