12. Intense Reflection and Focus on Brahman

[During His camp at Mysore in the last week of October 1981, Acharyal told me, “Some months ago, I told you all that I could recall about My attainment of samādhi on the saguṇa (with-qualities) aspect of the Supreme. With that, as far as I know, I have completed revealing to you practically everything about My ādhyātmika-sādhanā (spiritual practices to attain the Truth), except for the details of its final phase. I had not thought of those events of My boyhood for so many years. I feel that God wanted Me to recall them and used you as an instrument to induce Me to do so. “I know how very much you have enjoyed receiving such information from Me on every occasion. I shall, on My own, tell you about the final phase too. Before that, for the fun of it and to clarify My recollection, I would like to duplicate what I did then. After hearing the details from Me, you too do so and report to Me.” In January 1982, while at Chennai (then Madras), Acharyal detailed much of the final phase of His divine drama of ādhyātmika-sādhanā. As He had a very tight schedule, He did so in short private sessions. The dialogues relating to the sādhanā up to the final three days have been merged and given in the sequel.]

Acharyal: One evening, I went to the hill, about an hour before sunset. Till then, I had been meditating there on the Supreme as possessed of a form, such as that of Śiva, Viṣṇu or Ambā. That evening, however, I intended to focus My mind on the Supreme without superimposed forms and activities. I sat down in the siddhāsana, facing west. Then, with the words of the scripture as basis and reasoning as an aid, I readied Myself to meditate on the Supreme.

(He who knows Brahman attains the highest.)

(On realising the bliss of Brahman, the enlightened man is not afraid of anything.)

(For, when this (ignorant) man perceives even the slightest variety in Brahman, then (because of that perception of difference) fear arises in him.)

I recalled these passages and reflected on the following lines. From these scriptural declarations, it follows that on realising Brahman, I will attain unity with Brahman, the highest. On the other hand, as long as I do not realise Brahman and I perceive duality, bondage will not cease. Knowledge does not actually make or modify an object. It only removes the ignorance relating to the object. So, even now, I am indeed Brahman and the world has no existence apart from It. It is only because of ignorance that I seem to be otherwise and perceive duality. Else, there is no question of My realisation of Brahman leading to My becoming Brahman and to the cessation of diversity as declared by the scripture.

This body, made up of skin, blood, flesh, bones and the like, is dependent on food and is inert. It is perceivable like an external object, such as a stone. What is inert and perceivable is different from that which is conscious and perceives it. I am conscious and perceive the body; as for My consciousness, that is self-evident. So, I am not the body. Likewise, I am not the prāṇas. The organs are, in themselves, inert and are merely the instruments of perception and activity. As such, the possibility of My being the organs does not arise.

The mind is changeful and comprises thoughts and emotions that arise and disappear. I am aware of the thoughts and emotions. How can I be the mind, for it is but an object of consciousness, as is a stone? It cannot be that a second thought, and not consciousness other than the mind, is necessary or sufficient to reveal a thought. This is because another thought would be needed to reveal the thought that reveals the first one; yet another thought would be needed to reveal that thought and so on. There would be the fallacy of infinite regress.

Sāttvik food conduces to mental purity and calmness, while rājasik and tāmasik food affect the mind adversely. It is well known that the thinking of a person heavily under the influence of liquor is impaired. Affected by what is ingested, the mind is a material entity, notwithstanding its subtlety. Though it appears to be conscious, the mind, which is material, is inert. I who am patently not inert cannot be the inert mind.

The agent denoted by ‘I’ in notions such as, “I see this,” “I feel dull” and “I do this” manifests in the states of waking and dream but disappears with the onset of deep sleep. One would not be in deep sleep at all if one were to have any notion at that time like, “I am fast asleep.” I, however, do exist not only in the states of waking and dream but also in deep sleep. This is confirmed by the ready recognition on awakening, “During deep sleep, I slept happily. I did not know anything at that time.” As the agent disappears during deep sleep but I persist therein, I cannot be this agent marked by the I-thought.

Agency involves change and pertains to the intellect. Though reflecting the light of the sun and appearing bright, a mirror is intrinsically not a source of light. Likewise, though appearing to be intrinsically conscious, the intellect, being a material entity like the organs, is inert. I am the witness of even the intellect and, so, distinct from it.

(The great elements (space, air, fire, water and earth), egoism, intellect, the Unmanifest itself; the ten organs and the mind; the five objects of the senses (sound, touch, form, taste and smell); desire, aversion, happiness, sorrow, the aggregate (of the body and organs), sentience and fortitude – this is a brief account of the field, together with its modifications.)

From these words of the Lord, it is clear that the body, senses, mind and intellect are all inert objects of knowledge. Characterised by consciousness and being the one who illumines them, I am surely distinct from them.

The states of waking, dream and deep sleep are neither natural to Me nor absolutely real. This is because while I persist unchanged in all these three states, the state of waking is absent during the states of dream and deep sleep; the dream state is absent during the states of waking and deep sleep; and deep sleep is absent during waking and dream. What appears and disappears like a mirage cannot be absolutely real. Being subject to annulment, the states of waking, dream and deep sleep are false. I am unstained by them like the desert by mirages.

Various objects are illumined by the sun, which is distinct from them and is one. Likewise, the objects encountered in the waking state are diverse and undergo changes but the consciousness that illumines them is distinct from them and is one. As in the waking state, the changeful, diverse objects seen in the dream state are revealed by consciousness that is constant and one. In deep sleep, consciousness reveals ignorance. There is no ground to presume either that there is any difference in the consciousness that shines in the three states or that it is subject to any change. Certainly, the objects revealed cannot establish any change in what reveals them. Further, consciousness cannot witness any change in itself. This unchanging consciousness cannot be other than Myself. On the authority of the Śruti, I am the Supreme Brahman.

About Brahman, the Śruti says:

(Brahman is truth, knowledge and infinite.)

Only that which never gets annulled at any time, past, present or future, is sat or satya. What is subject to change cannot be defined as being satya. Brahman, thus, ever was, is and will be changeless. It is absolute Existence. Brahman is said here to be jñāna, knowledge, rather than to be jñātṛ, a perceiver. It is thus of the very nature of consciousness. What is delimited by time, space or objects is not unconditionally ananta, infinite. As the Śruti declares that Brahman is ananta, It cannot be conditioned by time, space or objects. Thus, there is no time when It is absent, there is no place at all where Brahman is not present and there is no object whatsoever that exists apart from Brahman.

That everything is rooted in Brahman is clear from the words:

(From that Brahman indeed, which is this Ātman, was produced space. From space emerged air. From air was born fire. From fire was created water. From water sprang up earth.)

(Seek to know well that from which all these beings take birth, that by which they live after being born and to which they go and into which they merge. That is Brahman.)

As Brahman is changeless, there is no question of It actually becoming transformed into the element space or of It actually producing space like a potter making a pot. Space and the other elements ought, therefore, to be appearances in Brahman, like a mirage in the desert. They have no existence apart from Brahman.

(He that is here in the human person and He that is there in the sun are one.)

(He whose mind is absorbed in yoga and who has the vision of sameness everywhere sees the Ātman as abiding in all beings and all beings as abiding in the Ātman. He who sees Me in everything and sees all things in Me – I do not go out of his vision and he also is not lost to My vision.)

Accordingly, Brahman, which is absolute existence, pure consciousness and infinite, shines as the self of every being. Though appearing as the world, It is non-dual and unaffected in any way. As taught by the scripture, I am indeed the Supreme Brahman, the Ātman of all. I never was, am or will be otherwise. By the grace of Acharyal and God, My reflection that day resulted in great clarity of understanding, freedom from doubts and conviction regarding this.

(I am indeed the Supreme Brahman, the One free from decay and known as Vāsudeva (He who resides in and shines in all).)

These words that accurately portrayed the conclusion I had arrived at came to My mind. I felt ready to deeply focus on the Supreme.

{The term Vāsudeva has been used in the scripture with reference to the Supreme as has been done in the verse of Bhagavatpāda recalled spontaneously by Acharyal. The Lord says in the Bhagavad-gītā:

At the end of many births the man of knowledge attains Me, (realising) that Vāsudeva is all. Such a great one is very rare.

In the introduction of His Gītā-bhāṣya, Bhagavatpāda writes:

The Gītā scripture specially expounds the subject that is the absolute Reality, the Supreme Brahman known as Vāsudeva..

In the Mokṣadharma of the Mahābhārata, there occur the following words of the Lord:

Like the sun with its rays, I cover the entire universe with My glory. Also, I reside in all beings. Hence, I am known as Vāsudeva.

In the Viṣṇu-purāṇa, it is said:

All beings abide in the Supreme Ātman and He, the Ātman of all, abides in all beings. Therefore, He is called Vāsudeva.}

I: Had Paramacharyal expounded the Taittirīya-upaniṣad and Bhagavatpāda’s bhāṣya on it to Acharyal before this?

Acharyal: No. I, however, knew the Taittirīya-upaniṣad by rote, having learnt it along with the Rudram, Camakam, Sūktas and the Mahānārāyaṇa-upaniṣad. Acharyal took classes for Me on the Upaniṣad, Gītā and Brahmasūtra bhāṣyas only years later.

I: Why, then, did Acharyal base the reflection on the mantras of the Taittirīya-upaniṣad?

Acharyal: I just felt impelled and guided to do so. Though I was conversant with Sanskrit, it was primarily because of divine grace that at that time I correctly understood the import and implications of the teachings of the Upaniṣad. Only when Acharyal taught Me the Taittirīya-upaniṣad-bhāṣya, I fully recognised that My understanding of the passages had been in strict accordance with the bhāṣya.

I: How long did the reflection preceding the meditation last?

Acharyal: Perhaps for about 45 minutes. During that time, though I did specifically keep My eyes closed, I hardly noticed the surroundings. I had come to the hill about an hour before sunset. Before starting My meditation, I looked towards the Malahānikareśvara temple and the sun. It seemed that the sun would set in about 15 minutes.

I initiated My meditation as usual by gazing at the space between the brows and chanting the Prāṇava. I apprehended a blue hue, just as I often did. At this point, instead of conceiving any divine form, I mentally uttered once the words:

(I am indeed the Supreme Brahman, the One free from decay and known as Vāsudeva (He who resides in and shines in all).)

Then, without repeatedly chanting the words like a mantra, I strongly held on to the idea conveyed. Immediately, I felt Myself expanding and becoming pervasive like space. A great wave of joy arose and submerged Me. After what seemed a trice, I gained mild awareness of the body; actually, about 30 to 45 minutes had passed.

I: What effect did the sense of becoming pervasive have on Acharyal’s contemplating as specified in the Brahmānucintana verse?

Acharyal: By countering the notion of My being limited by the body and the like, it greatly intensified My contemplation. While feeling omnipresent like space, I did not have any apprehension of either darkness or light. Such was the intensity of the focus that ensued that I remained, as it were, as just objectless consciousness and bliss.

I: Would Acharyal classify the state attained as samādhi?

Acharyal: No. The state was only that of deep meditation. The need for effort to hold on to the idea of being Brahman did not vanish. Further, I did continue to have some awareness that I was meditating. Though it was not samādhi, the experience did have the effect of strengthening the conviction produced by My earlier reflection.

I mentally repeated the enquiry of the evening twice in the course of the next day. That evening, after sitting down at My meditation spot on the summit of the hill, I pondered, “Thoughts of objects and the ‘I’ thought arise in the mind and highlight objects and the agent respectively. Happiness, sorrow and the like too are only mental modifications as are the transformations of the mind in the form of external objects. The agent and the ‘I’ thought are relatively fundamental and not characterised by the great diversity of the thoughts of objects. Nonetheless, even agency and the sense of ‘I’ pertain to the mind and not to the Ātman.

“The Ātman is pure consciousness and is ever changeless. Being of this kind, the Ātman can neither be the mind nor be affected in any way by the mind. Yet, having falsely identified the Ātman with the mind, one deems oneself to be an agent and treats as valid notions such as, ‘I see this,’ ‘This is mine,’ ‘I am happy’ and ‘I am unhappy.’ Decidedly, only right knowledge can annul ignorance and misunderstanding. Yesterday, to gain right knowledge, I recalled the words of the scripture and used reasoning to rid Myself of doubts and clarify My understanding. Then, I voluntarily thought of My true nature as discerned by Me and retained that notion. Fortunately, no other thought cropped up and impaired My meditation.”

At this juncture, it struck Me that like using a thorn to remove a thorn that has pierced one’s sole, I could well use even unwanted mental activity as a means to direct My attention to the Ātman. I reflected, “Per se, the Ātman is objectless, absolute consciousness and is none other than Brahman. With respect to the ‘I’ thought as also other thoughts, It is their witness. So, instead of giving importance to any thought that arises or actively quelling it, I could contemplate on the Ātman as being the witness of that thought. The thought would then serve as a pointer to the Ātman rather than as a distracter.

“If I stand back from a thought as a disinterested witness, the thought would be deprived of stimulation and should soon die out. Hence, My using a thought to turn to the Ātman ought not to have the undesirable consequence of making the thought persist. It is not as though the meditation would grind to a halt when the mind becomes completely still. This is because My aim is not to watch thoughts but to abide as the Ātman, which shines on Its own without any dependence on the mind.”

I thought in this fashion for two or three minutes. To try out what I had planned, I needed some thought in the mind in the early phase of My meditation. However, My mind was simply not given to wandering during meditation. I decided that instead of voluntarily generating some thought, I would employ My eagerness to meditate without delay as the requisite prop. Just as when one eats, one’s desire to have a meal becomes quieted, the desire to meditate would automatically disappear with My engaging in meditation. So, I would just not be faced with the problem of the thought persisting. I reminded Myself that I am pure consciousness unlimited by space, time and objects and started My meditation.

I: Did Acharyal skip directing the gaze to the space between the brows and allowing a hue to be apprehended there?

Acharyal: Yes, for I wanted to make immediate use of the desire to meditate that I had willingly entertained at that time. I experienced no difficulty in initiating contemplation on the Ātman as the witness of this desire. Almost immediately thereafter, the mental activity serving as the object vanished. An essentially isolated ‘I’ thought remained. I maintained the attitude of being a witness characterised by pure, unlimited consciousness. Very soon, even the sense of ‘I’ almost completely faded away. The mind was then quite still and no effort was needed to keep it so.

Consciousness shone clearly without any object and without limitations. I was overwhelmed by bliss, which was far greater than on the previous evening. The awareness of any distinction between the bliss and Myself was almost absent. About an hour passed thus but I was totally oblivious of the passage of time. I then emerged from savikalpa-samādhi and gradually became aware of the body.

{The Muktika-upaniṣad defines savikalpa/saṁprajñāta samādhi on the Ātman-Brahman as:

The flow, without egoism, of mental transformations (vṛttis) of the form of Brahman constitutes saṁprajñāta-samādhi. It stems from excellence in the practice of meditation.

In the Sarva-vedānta-siddhānta-sāra-saṅgrahaḥ attributed to Bhagavatpāda, it is said:

The continuance of the transformation of the mind in the form of Brahman, the Absolute, without the dissolution of the distinction of the one who knows, the act of knowing and the known is indeed known by the wise as savikalpa-samādhi. Because, though Brahman of the nature of absolute existence manifests, the awareness of the distinction of the one who knows, knowing and the known is present, this samādhi is termed savikalpa.}

(Acharyal:) When I opened My eyes, I noticed that it was about half an hour before sunset. After remaining mentally quiet for a few minutes, I thought, “I am now in a position to take advantage of the presence of some thought or feeling at the start of meditation to focus on the Ātman and attain samādhi. There is, however, no necessity for Me to rely upon what is basically a source of distraction. Instead, I could commence My meditation by directly generating and intensifying the notion that I am not the body and the like but am Brahman, which is of the nature of absolute existence, consciousness and bliss. This is what I did yesterday. Further, the pertinent notion is indeed in keeping with the teaching of the scripture and My conviction.”

I decided to implement the procedure right then. So, I repeated what I had done on the previous evening, inclusive of employing the words:

(I am indeed the Supreme Brahman, the One free from decay and known as Vāsudeva (He who resides in and shines in all).)

This time, I promptly attained savikalpa-samādhi. The experience was essentially the same as that of the preceding savikalpa-samādhi. This one also lasted about an hour. After getting up, I returned to Narasimhavana.

{Here, Acharyal told me, “Try imitating, as closely as possible, what I had done. This will enable you to have a better idea of My experience than you have now based on My account. Report to Me tomorrow. Take care to see that you limit the intensity of your focus to stop at the level of savikalpa-samādhi. Else, you will pass on into nirvikalpa-samādhi.” By His grace, I had no difficulty at all in carrying out His command.}

(Acharyal:) The next morning, on apprehending a green hue, instead of conceiving a divine form as had been My practice, I directed My attention to the Ātman as being the witness of this hue. The hue soon faded away. Next, the sense of ‘I’ well-nigh vanished and savikalpa-samādhi ensued. At the end of the session, I recognised that I could comfortably use the hue rather than a voluntarily stimulated thought or feeling to initiate contemplation on the Ātman as a witness and attain samādhi.

That afternoon, I reflected on the Truth by deeply considering the passages of the Pañcīkaraṇa. Perhaps that is why the words that came to My mind that evening, on the summit of the hill, after the manifestation of the hue, were:

enlightened, eternally free, absolute existence, absolute bliss, non-dual and the innermost consciousness.)

I had barely recalled these words when, effortlessly and without any delay, I was in savikalpa-samādhi. I remained in that state for about 45 minutes.

I: Would Acharyal attribute the ease and swiftness in the attainment of samādhi to the intensity of the conviction that had developed about the Truth and to the earlier abidance in samādhi thrice?

Acharyal: Yes. This is what I did on that day too. I, however, had no doubt that the divine grace rather than My effort or competence was primarily responsible for the conviction and all the samādhis.

A few minutes after emerging from samādhi, I thought as follows. With the aid of a mental vṛtti (modification of the mind) in the form of a desire to meditate or a hue, I have earlier focused on the Supreme. I should be able to become absorbed in the Supreme even by considering any external object. After all, the Supreme is not merely the witness of mental states but is also the real substratum of everything.

(Whatsoever there is in the entire world that is seen or heard of, all that is pervaded by Nārāyaṇa, within and without (like a bracelet and other golden ornaments by gold, their material cause).)

An earthen pot has a rotund form, has the name, ‘pot’, and is made of mud. It is apprehended as something that exists, as “is”; it is the object of the notion of existence (sadbuddhiḥ). What is responsible for the pot’s being or existence? Decidedly, its name and form do not lend any being to it. Other than as clay, its material cause, the pot has no existence; it has existence only as clay.

(A modification (of clay, such as a pot or jar,) has speech as its origin and exists only in name; as clay alone, it is real.)

Can clay, per se, account for the being of the pot? No, for clay has no existence apart from the particles of which it is made; the name and form of clay do not make it existent. Nothing that is an effect has existence apart from its material cause; only as the cause, does an effect exist. Thus, no intermediary member of the causal chain headed by the pot, clay and particles can account for the pot’s being. Only the ultimate cause, if it be intrinsically existent, can adequately do so. The scripture teaches that Brahman is the ultimate cause, the substratum of all, and that It is of the very nature of absolute existence. Thus, in the final analysis, a pot has existence only as Brahman; apart from Brahman, it is simply non-existent. The name and form of the pot are but its false or illusory aspects. Similarly, every object has existence only as Brahman; the name and form of the object are its illusory aspects. Were such not to be the case, the scripture would not have emphatically taught that on knowing Brahman, everything becomes known, just as on knowing clay, all products of clay become known.

In the past, whenever I have wanted to, I have been able to readily ignore the name and form of an object, such as an earthen pot or a golden vessel, and to apprehend the object as being just the substance of which it is made, such as clay or gold. Now, I should go much further. I should thoroughly discriminate the name and form of any selected object from its being, disregard them, and understand that the object is actually just its ultimate basis, absolute existence.

Having reflected in this manner, I started My meditation, taking the sun as the object of relevance. I gazed at the sun, which was to set in about half an hour and was pleasant to behold. With effort, I increasingly ignored everything about the sun, such as its shape, size and brightness, and focused on just its being. Soon, nothing mattered except the bare existence of the sun; indifference to the illusory aspects became well established and effortless. I cannot say whether thereafter My eyes were fully open, partially closed or fully closed. Abruptly, I almost totally forgot Myself. Just unqualified being, unrelated to space, time and objects, remained and that too not as an inert entity but as objectless consciousness.

When My mind descended from this savikalpa-samādhi, I found that the sun had already set and that the place was illumined by the moon. I estimated that My samādhi would have lasted for nearly an hour. I then left for Narasimhavana.

The next morning, the external object I considered to facilitate My meditation on the Supreme was the wall in front of Me. With hardly any effort, I was able to disregard all illusory aspects and focus on just the being of the selected object. I attained savikalpa-samādhi in moments; the experience was the same as what I had had on the previous occasion.

{Here, Acharyal instructed me, who was seated in front of Him, to move to His side and face the same direction as Him. He then said, “In the evening, use the sun as an object and focus on the Truth, the way I did. Right now, let us both enter savikalpa-samādhi for some time with the wall in front serving as the object to initiate the meditation.” Such was the power of Acharyal’s presence and grace that, even without any effort, I went into, experienced and emerged from savikalpa-samādhi in the same manner as and together with Acharyal. Acharyal Himself confirmed that what I had experienced was similar to what He Himself had experienced. Acharyal then said that He would continue His account the next day.}

(Acharyal:) In the evening, I went to My usual place of meditation. After taking My seat, I reflected, “Brahman is of the nature of absolute existence and is the substratum on which this illusory world of names and forms is superimposed. Even as I perceive what is external, I could, instead of considering a specific external object, use words to this effect to direct My attention fixedly to the Truth. This would be equivalent to My earlier using, when inward-turned, words of the Brahmānucintana and the Pañcīkaraṇa to become absorbed in the Supreme.”

Without shutting My eyes, I mentally said to Myself:

I intensified the resulting notion by disregarding names and forms in general. As I proceeded to do so, the diversity, rooted in names and forms, of the world seemed more and more to be superficial and irrelevant. Everything appeared to become stripped to bare being, without attributes. My sense of individuality faded. An upsurge in the intensity of concentration resulted in savikalpa-samādhi that was akin to the preceding ones. About one and a half hours passed before My mind descended from samādhi.

I: Was Acharyal familiar at that time with the scriptural account of the two dṛśyānuviddha (associated with a perceptible object) and two śabdānuviddha (associated with a sound) kinds of savikalpa-samādhis?

Acharyal: No. I read the verses concerned of the Sarasvatī-rahasya-upaniṣad and the Dṛg-dṛśya-viveka much later. Only when I did so did I come to know that there were these varieties of savikalpa-samādhi and that I had properly practised all of them.

Savikalpa-samādhi is of two kinds by virtue of its association with a perceptible object or a sound.

Desire and the like, which are located in the mind, are perceptible objects. One should thoroughly concentrate on consciousness as their witness. This constitutes savikalpa-samādhi associated with a perceptible object.

I am unattached, of the nature of absolute existence, pure consciousness and ultimate bliss, self-luminous and free from duality. Meditating thus constitutes savikalpa-samādhi associated with sound.

Savikalpa-samādhi associated with a perceptible object can occur with regard to any external object just as it can with regard to what is in the mind. In this, name and form are separated from pure being.

There is just Brahman, the indivisible, homogeneous entity of the nature of absolute existence, pure consciousness and ultimate bliss. Such an uninterrupted thought constitutes savikalpa-samādhi associated with a sound.}

(Acharyal:) The next morning, after the apprehension of a hue, I did not explicitly recall any passage about the Truth. I did not select the hue or any feeling to initiate My meditation either. Since the previous evening, attention to the Truth had been persisting effortlessly. Even during dreams, this had been uninterrupted. I just intensified it. Promptly, I became absorbed in the Supreme and was in savikalpa-samādhi. When I regained awareness of the body and opened My eyes, I could see My āhnika room. However, apart from bare being, nothing else seemed to be of any consequence. I ignored names and forms further. Straightaway, I was once more in savikalpa-samādhi. That evening I transcended the stage of savikalpa-samādhi and attained nirvikalpa-samādhi.

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