Preamble

By the command of the almighty Lord, Ramdas, His child, undertakes the task of continuing the story of his experiences from the time and place where he broke off at the end of his first book “In Quest of God”. The narrative of “In Quest of God” extends over to one year’s life after the great change came upon him. The purpose of the present book is to draw further the thread of the same narrative, and it contains an account of his later experiences in the course of nine years that have elapsed. Before proceeding with the story it would be necessary for him to place before the reader a brief summary – mainly concerning his spiritual struggle and evolution during the first year – so that it might bring out in a proper perspective the later experiences chronicled in this book.

It was in the year 1921, in Mangalore, that the all-merciful Lord of the universe first fired Ramdas’ bosom with a keen longing to realise Him. From that time his life was undergoing a marvellous change. His one overwhelming passion and aim of life was to live for God and God alone. God’s powerful Name was indelibly stamped on his tongue. Now it was that he was becoming conscious of a divine influence working silently but irresistibly in him gradually dominating and possessing him. He felt an awakening within the very core of his being. With steady steps and unflagging zeal he now entered upon a path of rigorous self-discipline. The trials and hardships of the path did not daunt him. Repeated appeals, persuasions and remonstrances could not make him swerve an inch from this path. He was calm, earnest and determined. As time passed in prayer, fasting and repetition of God’s Name, the consciousness of divine possession and guidance assumed such a predominance that at last the divine voice within him drove him forth from Mangalore into the wide world.

What was his condition at this momentous hour? He was a dazed and helpless creature caught in the grip of an all-powerful Being. He did not know what he was doing. He was under the full control of an almighty Power without any offer of resistance on his part – just as a baby in the hands of its mother. Verily, it was God alone who held him – a God who is at once his divine mother and master, so real, loving, kind and good. Blessed indeed is the day when God made Ramdas entirely His own. O mother and master divine, all glory to Thee! How tenderly He nursed and guided His newborn offspring during his first year’s itinerant life all over India forms the theme of “In Quest of God”.

During that period what was his mental state, manner of life and outlook upon the world? His mind was merged in a unique stillness of peace; his life was one of unreserved self-surrender; and, as regards the world, in a sense it was not there for him, that is, he was dead as it were to the world. He was travelling from place to place like an automaton as if in a dream, indifferent to – nay, unconscious of – his body and environments. All through it, God to whom he had surrendered up his life was mysteriously influencing his movements and controlling and taking care of him in every way. It was really an entire dedication on one side and a watchful, benevolent protection on the other.

He experienced that he was living and moving in a new world in which he felt that there was none other than himself and his great master – Ram, his all in all. In this wonderful vision of inexpressible ecstasy and peace he struggled to dwell always. This exalted consciousness, possessing as it did the characteristic of perfect vacancy or emptiness, was filled with an ineffable rapture of peace, silence and repose. The dual throng, pleasure and pain, good and evil, cold and heat, etc. relating to the physical body affected him not, for his mind was not there to take note of these sensations; it would always be in tune with the infinite spirit of stillness and peace. There were occasions when under certain conditions he would be dragged down with a jerk as it were to the sense of the old world and its associations, but he would be instantly pulled up by that silent and watchful spirit within.

In those days Ramdas’ haunts were caves, jungles, ruins, riversides, grave-yards, hills and cremation grounds. It appeared that these places exerted on him a strange fascination. Instinctively he avoided the din and bustle of the city life and was unconsciously led away from it to dreadful solitudes. The sense of fear had vanished from him entirely – danger and death had lost their terrors for him. A feeling of perfect assurance, security and protection was ever with him. The powerful Ram-mantram never left his lips. He was uttering it like a machine. It has been revealed in “In Quest of God” how miraculously he was more than once saved from terrible situations. It seemed as if God had taken him up for His experiments – to mould, transform and manipulate him as He willed – a wax lump in His dexterous hands.

Some friends of Northern India who had met him during his first year’s wandering life declared that they observed him as having been possessed by extreme dispassion. He was indifferent alike to his body and to the external world and was found absorbed solely in Ram-smaran or God-remembrance. He was also discovered to be like a child, passive, docile and obedient. He was bathed, clothed and fed and led in all things. In fact, he had neither attraction nor repulsion for the world. His attitude towards it was simply inexpressible, for he felt, in fact, nothing to interest him in the world, and curiosity he had none. It was simply a wonderful state. Even intellect and emotion seemed to have ceased to function. Truly, God by His power had eradicated from his heart the false, self-asserting ego, and was working Himself in its place – the one great power who causes both the internal and external movements in this world of phenomena.

At this period Ramdas scarcely talked. He was perfectly fearless. Love and hate, like and dislike, conveyed no meaning for him. In brief, he could be likened to a dry leaf tossed at random as the wind of divine will listed. It was thus that he was guided back by God to Mangalore after a year’s absence.