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Celebrations

O PAPA, the endless and beginningless! Now, during the first four years the Ashram had four celebrations each year. We started with a celebration on the anniversary of the inauguration of the Ashram. This extended for seven days. As it was observed on the 15th of May each year, on account of heavy rains in this month it involved great hardship on the huge concourse of visitors. At the suggestion of yourself in the form of a devotee, instead of the 15th May, the Ashram started celebrating the Hanuman Jayanti day, which was your birthday, and it fell in the month of April. We also celebrated the Punya Tithi of Gurudev which fell on Naraka Chaturdashi, usually in October. In December, many devotees were coming to the Ashram during the Christmas holidays and so another celebration was held on the 27th December which was your Sannyas day. While these three celebrations were held, at the pressure of the devotees you agreed to have one more celebration on the Mahalaya Amavasya day which was my birthday.

O kindness-incarnate Papa! In the beginning we used to have your birthday celebration for seven days and the other celebrations for three days. Later we reduced these to three days and one day respectively. During celebrations we would have non-stop Bhajan, Harikatha and other programmes, and feasts for the visitors and the poor people. For carrying out these items of the programme, the devotees who are your forms, provided us with the necessary funds.

O Papa, the lover of the humble! From the beginning I had no interest in holding these celebrations. But owing to your wish and that of others who were your forms, we had to observe these celebrations. Our object was not to make a grand show of them but to help the devotees in their spiritual uplift and ultimate realisation of your infinite Being. During the time of the celebrations there would naturally be great zeal in the minds of devotees to chant Ram Nam more and more so that they might enjoy the bliss of the Eternal. On the contrary, as years passed, we noticed that very few people derived real benefit from the celebrations and they started finding fault with us in all our actions.

O omnipresent Papa! It was natural that they should find fault with us because you, dwelling in them, were making them believe that they were merely the bodies. Usually they would put the stock question, “They say that all are the same to the saints and that they are free from likes and dislikes. Then why do they exhibit partiality and differential treatment?”

But they do not know the meaning of it all. So there is nothing wrong when they see blemishes in us. Even then, in my opinion, what we do is right as we have the experience of our identity with the entire universe and also the Truth beyond it. For example, even though the whole body is considered as myself, I cannot touch with the same hand at the same time my head and my leg. So also, even though I know that the entire universe is myself, I cannot serve all beings simultaneously. Though with our own eyes we cannot see simultaneously all parts of our body, still our equality in regard to the body is not thereby affected. Similarly, after we have realised the universe as ourselves, we can see only some and not others, but the sense of equality in us remains intact.

O Papa, the protector of devotees! You were coming to the Ashram also in the forms of some mischief-mongers. They would wander about in the Ashram compound, gaze at women and make fun of them. Of these there was one Sadhu who was known as a Mahatma and who was of course your own form. At one of the celebrations he came in the company of some devotees and called himself Krishna. He would eat the food prepared for or served to children, beat them, smile at women and do other such acts. Gradually he started sitting in the midst of women and was often beating them. When you observed this behaviour of his, you remained quiet for two days. As his conduct became intolerable, you decided to send him away from the Ashram. Sensing what was going to happen to him, the Sadhu bolted himself in a room and commenced shaving his beard with the shaving set of a visitor. Now you knocked at the door and asked him to open it. But he did not care to act up to your words; so you pushed the door. Still he would not come out. You sat down waiting for him at the door. Some time later, finishing his work, the Sadhu came out.

You told him, “Calling yourself Krishna what is this you are doing? Ramdas is not going to allow you to carry on like this.”

So you pushed him out and asked him to leave the Ashram, but as he did not move, you gave him a kick and asked him to clear out of the gate. Beholding you in a state of rage we were all frightened. We wished that you should soon regain your usual composure, but you had no rest until the so-called Sadhu was driven clean out of the Ashram premises.

O Papa, the giver of bliss! I know that you kicked him not out of hate or dislike for him, but with a view to lead him on the right path. In the eyes of the people who were present, this act of yours appeared to be improper, but truly there was nothing wrong in what you did. Just as a man suffering from a serious illness, to be free from it, gives himself over to the surgeon in the case of an operation and undergoes thereby all kinds of pains, similarly, having pervaded the entire universe and knowing that you are the universe itself, in order to heal the pains in your own body, you inflict suffering on yourself.

After this incident you had no occasion to punish anybody as you had in the case of that Sadhu, but often you had, by threats, to eject some incorrigible people from the Ashram.

O Papa, the ocean of kindness! Since the majority of your forms coming to the Ashram were not for gaining real and lasting happiness but for enjoying transitory pleasures, I argued with you that we would do well to put a stop to the celebrations. Moreover, from year to year as the number of people who attended the celebrations increased, we had to undergo immense strain from the huge work to be turned out on such occasions. Prior to this we did not have in the Ashram big vessels to prepare food and had to borrow them from the local temple. When I suggested to you that we might buy such vessels for the Ashram use, you were not in favour of doing so.

O compassionate Papa! Once when an Ashram celebration was approaching at the same time there were marriages in certain houses. The vessels of a temple which we used to borrow were requisitioned by the marriage parties. So the Ashram had to face untold difficulties. On this point I started an acute controversy with you. Observing this state of things, the visitors who came from the Ashram vicinity rushed to their homes and brought their own vessels. Though these vessels were not adequate we somehow managed to carry out the functions.

O Papa, who is kindness-incarnate! For all the reasons mentioned above, I hotly discussed with you and insisted upon stopping the celebrations. Since these celebrations did not benefit anybody and as they created a great deal of disorder, you at last consented to discontinue them. At this I felt untold joy.