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Sadhakas & Sadhus

O ALL-PERVADING Papa! Prior to these happenings, the Bhajan in the Ashram had to be stopped. The object of Bhajan was to help the devotees in their spiritual progress. Gradually the number of devotees who took part in it diminished. At last for the Bhajan there were only three we two and the daughter of your relative of Poorvashram. When the Ashram was opened, this girl gave up her education and joined the Ashram and was doing all kinds of service. When the time came for her to be married, I asked you, “For whose sake are we to continue Bhajan? As for me, there is no need of Bhajan and so also for you.” So we stopped the daily Bhajan entirely.

O infinite Papa! The number of visitors to the Ashram went on increasing. Of these, you in many forms did not fail to receive some spiritual gain, but still you in some other forms were committing mistakes. Whenever they did so, we used to point out the mistakes to them and were advising them as to how they should act, whoever they be, whether they were visitors or Sadhakas, so that they might ultimately attain immortal happiness. But without understanding the aim with which we were admonishing them, they were on the other hand prompted by you from within to turn against us. So the advice fell flat on them. They cast all kinds of slurs on us and left the Ashram. Just as when the mother, in order to guide her children on the right path, reprimands and even beats them, however pained the feelings of the children might be, they cannot but return to the mother. So also, as you are the mother of the universe, in spite of their going away from you, yet, being drawn by the cords of love, they would come again to you and love you. You loved such devotees all the more and granted them the experience of bliss. Still, some of them kept themselves away. If even out of a sense of enmity they remembered you, such remembrance would help them in realising their oneness with your eternal Being. So I am confident that one day or the other they will, drawn by the force of your infinite love, come back to you. I am therefore holding my soul in patience as there is no need to be impatient in this matter.

O Papa, the lover of devotees! When some time passed thus, you received a letter from a devotee in Bombay in 1936. As he was seriously ill, he had often written to you to come to Bombay for his sake. So I felt it would be well that you visited Bombay and gave him Darshan. I came to you and apprised you of my wish.

O Papa, the lover of the humble! At this time you were engaged in churning curds. As the Ashram was day by day expanding in its range, though we had some workers to carry on the outside work, the internal work was managed by ourselves, the inmates. Your love for the devotees in Bombay was so great that the moment I told you about my wish, you immediately stopped the churning of curds and, getting up, with only one cloth on your body, sped rapidly to the railway station in order to catch the morning train itself.

O compassionate Papa! In Bombay, after visiting the home of the devotee who called you and also the homes of other devotees, giving them all the spiritual benefit of your Darshan and enjoying their love, you returned to the Ashram in a month’s time.

O Papa, the embodiment of kindness! The devotees from other parts of India who came to know of your trip to Bombay wrote to you repeatedly, inviting you to their places also, and you could not refuse to fulfil their wishes. So you started on a second tour in 1937. But as for me, I loved to remain in the Ashram. Due to other reasons also I did not go with you even though you asked me to do so.

O all-pervading Papa! When you were away on tour, a person who is of course yourself in that form, living near the Ashram, started the game of opposition against the Ashram. He conspired in various ways to get the Ashram under his control. Once he claimed a part of the Ashram property as his and created a disturbance. On your return from the tour you took legal steps and set the matter right.

O blissful Papa! Although he quarrelled with us, it proved to be a quarrel between a mother and her child. It did not last long and soon the love that existed between us and him revived and grew.

O all-pervading Papa! During the days when you wandered from place to place on renouncing worldly life, you were looked after tenderly by many Sadhus. So you had great reverence for all itinerant Sadhus who came to the Ashram. I also as a consequence conceived love and respect for them. For this reason, the Sadhus who were coming to the Ashram were permitted to stay in it as long as they liked. They used to stay in the Ashram from three to fifteen days. In the case of those who were ill, they were allowed to remain in the Ashram until they fully recovered from their illness. We tried our best to provide them with whatever they asked for and thereby satisfy them.

O Papa, the lover of the humble! Whenever the Sadhus, who were of course your forms, came, we provided them with sleeping accommodation in the office, in the kitchen or on the verandah of the main Ashram. These Sadhus, according to their daily routine were performing Bhajan, worship and meditation. They were also at times given to drinking liquor and smoking Ganja, thereby causing a great deal of discord in the Ashram. Besides, on grounds of orthodoxy or for some other flimsy reasons, they would quarrel among themselves. Some of them used to cook their own food and eat it separately. In such cases, if anybody by mistake touched them or their vessels, they would fly into a rage and refuse to take the meals. As a result of their quarrels, the Ashramites working in the office could not do their work peacefully. Some devotees therefore suggested that it would be well that we built a rest-house for the Sadhus. Accordingly, a rest-house was constructed near the office building. Even here they created a good deal of noise and disturbance. Sadhus who seduced women would also come to the Ashram. Whenever a Sadhu of this nature came with a woman, we would send the man away first and, after ascertaining from the woman about her native place, we would send her back to her own place with sufficient money for her travelling expenses.

O all-pervading Papa! On account of this confused state of affairs we had to set a rule that Sadhus who came from distant places could remain in the Ashram for only three days and those who came from nearby places only for a day. For the same reason householders were permitted to stay in the Ashram for only three to five days. In the case of those who wished to remain longer, I asked them to do their own cooking. To this arrangement you consented. From that time onward this rule was in force for about two years.

O Papa, the beginningless and endless! You started again on a tour in 1938. This time the tour lasted for nine months. Only two days after you left on tour, a group of devotees from the neighbouring town, who were your forms, came to the Ashram. Although you were not present in the Ashram, they wished to stay on for a long time.

O compassionate Papa! We got a wire from you that you had finished your tour and were returning to the Ashram. Knowing that your health was bad I went to the railway station to receive you and escort you to the Ashram. When I saw you, you looked weak and emaciated. On account of rheumatic pains you found it hard to get down from the railway carriage. So you had to be helped to alight from the compartment in which you sat. At the station you got into the car and immediately handed over to me the purse of money you had, telling me to take responsibility in future of all money matters. Thereafter, although the accountkeeping was done by others, during the disbursement of wages to the workers I used to be present.

O omnipresent Papa! As you had severe rheumatic pains you had attacks of giddiness and aches all over the body. You could neither walk nor sit without help. All of us in the Ashram took great care of you. From that time I started to give you your daily bath. As you found it difficult to sit down on the floor, arrangements were made through your devotees to get you a chair, a table, a cot and other elevated seats. Besides, a separate toilet for you near the Ashram was constructed.

O all-pervading Papa! Due to rheumatic pains you began putting on shirts. Before this you were using only one piece of cloth as Dhoti and another as upper cloth. We also began to prepare special diet for you in view of your indifferent health.