← Mother KrishnabaiHer autobiography

22

My Mother & Father

O INFINITE Papa! You in the form of my father, possessed a very good nature. He was full of compassion and so could not bear to see the sufferings of others. He had also a forgiving nature. He was once travelling by train in connection with the installation of the image of Dattatreya in the Nadgar Temple. The glass pane of one of the windows of the compartment in which he sat was broken. For this my father was held responsible and as a penalty he had to pay a fine of two hundred rupees. Some people had noticed that the breakage of the glass pane was there before my father took his seat in the compartment. They told my father, “Keep quiet, don’t pay the fine and we will bear witness for you.”

But my father, without agreeing with them, replied, “I have to pay the railway company what I owe them,” and remained silent.

O compassionate Papa! My father was a government officer and later became a forest contractor. There were many men working under him. He was earning well and was in affluent circumstances.

Once, while he was going to the forest for his work in a bullock cart, a group of thieves started flinging stones at the cart from their hiding place. The result was that the cartman and the bullocks sustained many severe injuries. Thereafter the thieves came to my father and were bent upon killing him to gain possession of a diamond ring which he was then wearing on one of his fingers. My father told them that he would give them the diamond ring of his own accord. The thieves raised their knives to cut his throat but my father suddenly avoided the blow from their knife by holding up his hands against it. My father’s thumb received a severe cut and the thieves inflicted many wounds on his body also. He gave the diamond ring to the thieves and they took to their heels. Even when his servants and the people of the town offered to capture the thieves, my father would not allow them to do so and forgave them.

O Papa, the protector and destroyer! In my eighth year my father got piles trouble. I liked much to serve him. He also liked to be served by me alone. I prayed to God that if my father recovered his health I would do Pradakshina and Namaskars a certain number of times. Even after the passage of two years in this way, father’s health did not improve. On the other hand it became worse. He also got fever and became bedridden. In about eight days the illness took a serious turn and his life was despaired of. The day when he was to breathe his last, Durgabai, my aunt, took us all to the room in which my father was lying in bed, and asked us to pour Tirtha into his mouth. I did not know the meaning of all this and so I returned to my room and prayed to God for my father’s recovery. That very night, on 13th January, 1914, Makara Sankranti day, my father expired and departed to the other world. Next day, having come to know of this calamity I was immersed in grief. I would sit by myself with a vacant mind.

O Papa, the protector! As we were reduced to abject poverty, even to cremate my father’s body we confronted great difficulty. Whenever the servants, my father had engaged, got married, he provided them with ample means for eking out an independent livelihood. They used to carry on business having connection with neighbouring villages and towns. Of these, one was doing business in Haliyal itself by opening a shop. This man paid ten rupees towards the cremation of my father.

O Papa, the ocean of kindness! Prior to my father’s death, when he was laid up with illness, a creditor was sitting near him. I then went to my father and lay myself down by his side in close touch with him. My father, who is your form, being annoyed with me, said in a somewhat stern voice, “You don’t allow me to rest quietly even for a moment.”

I felt disgraced by this reprimand, with the result that my love for him diminished to some extent. Thenceforward, although I was doing all kinds of service for him, I was not taking liberties as before.

O ocean of grace! By bringing about this little incident you reduced my attachment to my father so that it would help me later in the attainment of my oneness with your imperishable Being.

O all-pervading Papa! After the demise of my father, my love for my mother increased considerably. But now I was looked upon by the people in the house with disfavour, to the same degree as I was at one time looked upon with favour. You, in the form of my younger aunt, were finding fault with me in whatever I did. In fact, as I was not doing anything wrong I would retort angrily. Although my mother used to give me sound advice, whenever my aunt teased me I used to treat her with contempt.

O compassionate Papa! After I got married, this same aunt treated me with great love. Whenever I happened to come to my mother’s house at Bhatkal she fed me with delicious dishes, washed my clothes and was never tired of doing all kinds of service for me. She was also doing with love all the work in the house, besides serving my mother and those who were ill.

O Papa, lover of the devotees! My mother, who is of course yourself, was of a guileless and peaceful nature. She would not wound in any way the feelings of others. She had great love for her children. Even though she suffered from rheumatic pains, she would not rest content without providing things as demanded by her children. Rarely would she chastise or scold her children, but when she did so, it was difficult to bear the rigour of it.

One day in my fifth or sixth year, while I was speaking to her, I used a bad word. For this she beat me so severely that one of my teeth was knocked off. Still I did not promise that I would not do so again. My mother, getting angry again, beat me once more. At last I confessed that I was wrong. This was the first and the last time that my mother punished me.

O Papa, who is without birth and death! In the house at Haliyal in which my mother dwelt, there were about twenty-five people. My mother was living with all of them in a friendly spirit. She did not differentiate between the members of her family and the others in the house. She treated them all alike. Whenever she prepared some nice eatables she would lovingly feed even cows, dogs and cats. When preparing such eatables, if any new guests came, she would have them made in more than the usual quantities. It might be because of my mother’s generous nature that, whenever she cooked nice things, on that day there would be more than the usual number of guests.

O Papa, the ocean of compassion! My mother had always with her cloth pieces for blouses. Whenever any Sumangali came to our house, she would not be satisfied without giving her one blouse piece, and if there were children she would give them gifts of money.

My mother stayed with her brother at Bhatkal until her sons got employed. Then she lived with them in Bombay until her death in the year 1941.