← Mother KrishnabaiHer autobiography

40

Burden of Debts

O ALL-PERVADING Papa! It was decided that you would spend six months in the year at Ramdas Ashram in Bhavnagar. As you found it was not possible to spend so much time in that Ashram, we stayed there for only two months in the year. After the Silver Jubilee Celebration we went on tour only twice. On the second occasion I did not accompany you but remained in the Ashram and started Bhajan for eight hours a day during which Ram Nam was sung aloud by the devotees. This programme was gone through with the aim that you should remain in good health. But, your health having failed at Madras, I had to go to you at the place where you then resided. You had to forthwith return to the Ashram for recouping your health.

Again, after you were restored to your normal health we started to go to Porbandar. There, one of the Sadhus, who was none other than yourself, with the help of his devotees had built a temple of Hanuman and you were invited for the installation of the images of Hanuman, Rama, Sita and Lakshman in that temple. The devotee who built Ramdas Ashram had also liberally contributed towards the erection of this temple. With the help and at the instance of this devotee you installed the images, accompanied by great grandeur.

O all-pervading Papa! As your health was not good we decided not to move out of the Ashram on tours again for some years. For various reasons, my mind being depressed, I felt that we should never again go on tours. If the devotees wanted spiritual help let them come to the Ashram. Moreover, a person who had seen your face on return from your last tour sent word that as there were signs of your health failing in the ensuing years, you should not leave the Ashram for at least three years. For these reasons we stopped going on travels and increased the Ram Nam Japa more than before in the Ashram.

O Papa, the kindness-incarnate! It is no wonder that when the question of money was mooted, the minds of people descended to a lower plane. This was perhaps because in the books that you wrote during your Sadhana you had definitely stated that a Sadhaka should not handle money at all. You were setting an example by not having any money with you in those days. But now, as you are pervading everywhere and have become everything, just as we cannot discard any part of our body, knowing as we do that the entire body is ours, similarly you cannot in your present state reject money. Besides, for carrying out the ideals of the Ashram you cannot but collect and keep money with you.

O Papa, the infinite Being! Just as every song has a burden, so our Ashram has a burden of debts. Although there were no debts for the Ashram during the first few months after it was opened, thereafter we had to face debts every month. But you were paying them off through the devotees who are your forms.

O Papa, the ocean of kindness! Though at the time of clearing the liabilities we resolved each time not to incur debts any more, the monthly outstandings did not decrease. In the last celebration we received all the money necessary for the expenses, but as we took up the work of construction of buildings and also utilised the available funds for other purposes, we had to run into debts. However, some devotees in Bombay joined together and paid off part of the debts. One of these devotees paid off the rest of the debts a year later. This devotee and his family had come to the rescue of the Ashram in the same manner on many previous occasions. Since then the Ashram has been entirely free from financial liabilities.

O blissful Papa! When we last paid off the debts we wished again that we should not, at least in future, be burdened with them. Accordingly, we stopped the annual celebrations and dispensed with the services of such of the workers of the Ashram as were appointed on salaries. But their love for you, was so great that some of them did not leave the Ashram service. They are working in the Ashram even till today although they are not being paid any salary. It is proposed to present these workers with lands by purchasing them. From the beginning the paid workers in the Ashram were carrying on their work neatly, regularly and with love as though they were doing it in their own homes.