← Mother KrishnabaiHer autobiography

21

Early Life

O INFINITE Papa! Do give me the power and intelligence to delineate truly how you, who have revealed yourself in every atom comprising countless universes, made me play and talk with you under the guidance of yourself as my mother, father and relatives.

O Papa, the giver of bliss! You gave me birth on Sunday, 20th September, 1903 at about 9 o’clock on Mahalaya Amavasya night. All-gracious as you are, in order to infuse into my blood the aspiration to become one with your immortal Being, you caused my birth in the family in which were born great devotees of God, such as Appayya Samarth, Shantibai and Saraswatibai.

O compassionate Papa! As the planets at the time of my birth were inauspicious to my parents, an astrologer advised that I should be given away as a gift to anybody while I was yet a baby. But as my parents had lost their first two children, they were excessively fond of me and my elder brother Dattatreya, and so they did not agree to give me away as a gift. Therefore, I was held by a woman on one side of a cow and after passing me underneath the cow’s belly, was handed over to another woman standing on the opposite side of the cow. This woman in her turn passed me under the cow and returned me to the first woman. This process was gone through three times. In order that the bad influence of the planets might not affect me, the cow was given away as alms to some recipient.

A few days later, a Sannyasini who was visiting my parents for alms frequently and who had heard talks about me asked my parents to give her the baby – which was myself – if they did not want it. So I was given away to her in exchange for a quantity of bran. Then I was repurchased from her on payment of two rupees.

O Papa, the lover of devotees! When I was about four or five years of age, like my younger sisters, I insisted upon sleeping by the side of my mother. My mother would then jokingly tell me, “You are not my daughter, we have purchased you for a price.” When I wanted to know what the meaning of this was, I was told all that had happened when I was a baby.

O Papa who is all bliss! At the time of my birth, plague was raging in Haliyal, and when I was six months old my mother, Indirabai, had an attack of plague. So all the members in my family showered their love on me more than ever. I was thereafter regularly lulled to sleep by my uncle. I would not sleep unless a particular song was sung for me. The first two lines of that song were:

O Krishna, what is there in your flute?

My mind gets enchanted.

When I grew up my uncle would make fun of me by telling me of this incident.

O Papa, the embodiment of love! My father’s name was Nadgar Venkat Rao. He was also called Venkataramaniah. He was very fond of me and I also loved him very much. I was happy to act according to his wishes in all matters. So I was serving my father in various ways. Sometimes people would remark, “You are doing your father’s work exactly as he does.” Hearing this I would be filled with joy.

O compassionate Papa! On one occasion a friend of my father visited our home and questioned him, “Who is there in your family who, like yourself, will bring name and fame to it?”

As I was helping my mother in the household chores and also helping others in the same way by little acts of service, my father, considering this nature of mine, pointed out to me and said, “It is this girl who will do it.”

Though I did not know the full significance of these words at the time, I was happy to know that I was going to be like him.

O Papa, the ocean of kindness! My parents had six children. The first one was Dattatreya, the second was myself. After me Shanti was born, then Mangesh and Umesh. The last one was Sumitra.

O all-pervading Papa! We children were separately loved by six different members of the family. I was loved by my father and my cousin Ammaniakka. I had great love for my brothers and sisters and took good care of them by serving them in many ways as instructed by my mother. I was also scolding them and sometimes punishing them whenever the occasion arose.

O love-incarnate Papa! Once when I was about five years of age, my father had promised that he would get gold bangles made for Shanti and me. In this connection one of our relatives said to my father, “You say often that Kutti (I was in those days called Kutti instead of Krishnabai), is not jealous of Shanti and she gives all things to her. Now when you are presenting Shanti with gold bangles first, let us see how Kutti feels about it.” My father fell in with the move.

From that day this relative would tell me in fun, “No bangles for you. They are only for Shanti.” Then, with a pale face I would go to father and ask him, “Bapa, (we used to call father in this way), are there no bangles for me?”

My father, having no intention of saying anything against what my relative said, and not wishing to tell me a lie, would only say this much, “You also will have bangles.”

O Papa, in the form of my mother! After a lapse of some days, to test me, the bangles prepared only for Shanti were brought. At once with great joy I asked for whom the bangles were intended. The moment I was told that they were meant for Shanti, with joy I ran to her and brought her to my father and saw to it that she was given the bangles. At this my father, without being able to control himself said, “Look, what did I say?” A little later my bangles also came.