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Sri Siddharudha Swami & Deities

O COMPASSIONATE Papa! Seeing the photo of Sri Siddharudha Swami placed near my pillow, Dr Rama Rao thought that I had developed great faith in him and so he sent me and my three year old child Narayan with his mother, Anasuyakka, to the Ashram of Sri Siddharudha Swami at Hubli. We reached the Ashram and had Darshan of the Swami. Anasuyakka explained to the Swami all about me and he asked me to stay there for four months. Then Anasuyakka went to her third son’s place. During my stay in the Ashram I lost all caste and food distinctions. I spent most of that period blissfully like a child. However, sometimes I would suffer pangs of grief at the thought of my husband’s demise and the consequent separation from him. All these events were brought about by you alone without my knowledge.

In order that I might be relieved of this grief and attain peace, Sri Chandragiri Shiva Rao’s wife, with whom I resided in the Ashram, took me to Sri Siddharudha Swami. While I was yet fifty feet distant from the Swami’s room I heard a voice, “As you wish, you will obtain a Saraswat Guru and you will realise peace.” The voice was like that of Sri Siddharudha Swami. Therefore I returned from there without opening my agonised heart before him. On the lapse of some days, Anasuyakka came and on her initiative I requested the Swami to initiate me, and he gave me the five lettered Mantra: नमः शिवाय (Namah Shivaya). A few days later, after the Shivaratri celebrations, Anasuyakka escorted me back to Dr Rama Rao’s house at Malsiras.

In our house at Malsiras there were pictures of Rama, Sita, Krishna, Shiva and other deities. It was my routine to worship them with devotion and bow before them. After my husband’s demise I had given up all religious practices out of sorrow as well as anger. Even when I took to these observances later it was only to satisfy my elders in the house. I restarted them on my return from the Math of Sri Siddharudha Swami. For the spiritual welfare of the departed souls in the family as also for the sake of Ganesh and Narayan, I began reciting 1,300 times a day the thirteen-lettered Mantra and 500 times the five lettered Mantra. At this juncture, whatever thoughts arose in my mind, I had the feeling that you, who are all pervading, were conversing with me through all the pictures of deities and saints.

Now you exhorted me through these pictures, “Recite the Mantras for your own sake.”

I disagreed to do this and replied, “I cannot do the Japa for my sake.”

The deities in the pictures reiterated, “You ought to repeat the Mantra for your sake only.”

But I did not approve of the advice and for some days I carried on a controversy with you in the deities. Finally, finding that I insisted upon doing the Japa for your sake, you as deities in the pictures consented. Thenceforward, besides these repetitions of the Mantras for the departed souls in the family, I also did daily Japa 15,000 times of the thirteen-lettered Mantra and offered it to the deities in the pictures with water and Tulsi leaves.

In this manner I continued to dedicate the Japa daily to the deities. When I was doing this as usual, one day, however much I tried to make the offering to the deities with water and Tulsi, I could not do so as my hands would not move. At once I turned to the deities and asked: “Why have you done this?”

Then, yourself in the deities replied, “In future you should do the Japa only for your sake.”

Opposing your injunction I said, “This is impossible; I will never do Japa for my sake.”

But you did not agree. Eventually I told you, “I will not beg of you anything for myself. Give me whatever you like.” Then my hands moved and I surrendered up the Japa to you. Thus I made over the Japa to you until the count reached two crores.