Anandashram, August 11, 1951

13. Life stale without problems

6 a.m. Papa had just got up. Mataji was still in bed. When she was asked about her health, she said she was feeling better. Papa's throat was bad as he had a cold. So it was suggested that Papa should reduce talking to the minimum. Mataji said that Papa's afternoon reading should be stopped.

The doctor gave throat paint to Papa some time later. In his talks with the doctor, Papa again returned to the topic of corruption and observed: "There are so many problems in the ashram, cropping up every day. Of course, if there are no problems, life will be very drab. There is joy only when there are problems and when they are tackled properly. God is responsible for everything and if we ask Him why He makes some people resort to corrupt practices, do you know what He will say? That He himself is playing the whole game of this universe; He puts on the parts of a thief, a good man, a criminal, a sadhu and so on."

14. God plays all Roles

S: Yes, Papa, but when He Himself is putting on different masks and acting in the various roles in the world-drama, the description that He is all-compassionate, etc., seems to have no meaning. To whom has He then got to show mercy and compassion? To Himself?

Papa: To complete the whole game all these varieties are necessary. When He is putting on different roles, He has naturally to act accordingly. What He does is this. When He wants to play the part of a miserable or vicious person, He goes about telling lies, harms others and practises all sorts of vices. When he wants to play the role of a good and saintly man, He leads a virtuous life, does good to others, practises kindness and compassion, performs austerities and shows that by such practices the individual purifies himself and realises his true nature. Having assumed different masks, He plays in various ways and pretends to be different from Himself. As such, He really prays to Himself and He shows mercy and compassion to Himself in other forms. Everything belongs to His world-play.

9.45 p.m. It was Papa's bedtime. He remarked, lying down: "Ramdas feels healthier when his food is adjusted in such a way that he is always a little hungry. When food is taken even slightly in excess, it becomes troublesome. We should have only five percent consciousness of our body. Ninetyfive percent we should be above body consciousness. When the stomach is very light and the mind is contemplative, this is possible.

S: Instead of five percent body-consciousness, we are now having one hundred and five percent.

Papa laughed.

August 12, 1951

15. Mataji never Half-hearted

Mataji was much better in the morning, although weak.

After dictating replies to the letters that had been pending for some days, Papa went to the room where Mataji was resting. He had in his hand the latest issue of ‘The Hindu’ wherein there was an article on paddy cultivation explaining how a farmer in Salem district had raised a record crop. As Mataji was in charge of the cultivation of the ashram fields, Papa gave her an account of that Salem farmer's achievement for comparison with the yield in the ashram fields. Mataji observed that there was still great scope for improvement in the agricultural activities of the ashram, though the results then obtained matched with those in the areas nearby.

Mataji was keenly interested in agriculture. She was thorough in everything she did. There was no half-heartedness in any work she undertook. She might oppose the expansion of ashram activities in any particular line and not approve the starting of a new work.

But once Papa decided on doing anything even in the face of her strong opposition, she gave him her whole-hearted co-operation and saw to it that the work was carried out successfully. So complete was her surrender to him.

Sitting in the veranda of the building behind the bhajan-hall, Papa was shaving himself. Keshav Bhat, the ashram mechanic, came running with joy and reported the arrival from Salem of Soundararaja Mudaliar, an engineer, to whom a telegram was sent requesting him to come immediately to repair the ashram oil engine which had gone out of order recently. In a few minutes Mudaliar himself came to Papa and made pranams. Papa greeted him with a broad smile, and gave him a brief account of the engine trouble and said, "Now go and have your tiffin. See the joy of Keshav at the very sight of you. He is jumping as if his God has given him Darshan. Poor fellow, he has been worrying himself all these days over the engine."

Shortly afterwards an ashram worker brought before Papa a basket containing rice of a very fine quality brought by Soundararaja Mudaliar. Seeing the rice, Papa asked Mataji to prepare keshar-bhath. Mataji said it could be done on the 15th, being the Independence Day.

In the afternoon most of Papa's time was spent with Soundararaja Mudaliar in the engine-room. Late in the evening the defect of the engine was found out. Mudaliar then, with great joy, remarked: "Papa, when you asked me to come here last time, I delayed and the result was that I had a lot of trouble with the engine. Therefore, when I left this place then, I had decided that I would respond to Papa's call in future immediately. So, this time I came the moment I received your wire. Now see the result! The defect has been located soon and now the repair work can be done in no time."

16. Food aplenty

9.45 p.m. Papa's bedtime. To those who were sitting near his cot he spoke about the arrangements for the celebration of the Independence Day at the Vidyalaya. Then S remarked: "The wife of the Central Food Minister is appealing to all to give up food for one day a week and is herself doing so.”

Papa: Ramdas has now increased his food to thrice daily and if the Food Minister comes to know of it, he may be angry.

Madhukar Shah: As you are taking food thrice a day, Papa, we are also having food in plenty.

Mataji, who was listening to the conversation, then chimed in: "Papa, if you reduce your food, we all shall have to go starving. Now that you are taking food thrice daily, though in small quantities, food is plenty in the ashram kitchen and we are getting so much wheat that there is not enough room to store it."

Papa: Is it so? Anyway, Ramdas is not going to take food more than three times. You can rest assured that this is his maximum.

August 13, 1951

Papa spent most of the day in the engine-room where Mudaliar was trying his best to set the engine right. He had not been successful yet though he was fully confident last night. After seeing Mudaliar working the whole day without success, Papa remarked: "Soundararajan has been tied here without a rope. Poor fellow has a lot of work on hand at his place." S added: "Yes, he was dragged here by "wire" and tied down without a rope."

Mataji being in her normal health attended to her work as usual.

17. Papa's favourite

In the evening Papa went on his usual rounds to Udyog Shala. While there, he asked the tailor to stitch a Khadi cap for Ramkishor for use on the Independence Day.

Ramkishor, then nine years of age, was loved very much by Papa and had been his pet ever since he was born in the ashram in 1943. His mother, Motiben, in her helpless condition, was given refuge in the ashram by the all-compassionate Papa and Mataji on the recommendation of her well-wishers. The boy was born a few months later.

In his childhood the boy's life was in danger in many ways. Papa and Mataji had to face very grave situations to provide security to the mother and the child. Papa loved Ramkishor so deeply that he did everything for him and tended him as a mother would her child. Papa would wake Ramkishor up early in the morning and sit with him when he did his lessons and saw to every item of his daily programme with so much exactness and care that it demanded no small amount of patience, and surely none other than Papa could do so. Only Papa could have the patience to answer all the questions put by Ramkishor. They were innumerable, continuous and covered many subjects. Papa gave everything he wanted and made him happy. The boy in turn was very loving and could not live apart from Papa. He could be away from his mother but not from Papa. He was intelligent but also mischievous. He was so far given only private tuition and the tutors found it no easy job to control and teach him. So it was decided to put him in V class in Sri Krishna Vidyalaya conducted by the ashram. Ramkishor would take his meal with Papa, sit with him, and sleep near him. Often Papa remarked about him thus: "This boy Ramkishor is very intelligent. His love for Ramdas is very great. There are signs of greatness in him. His life and Ramdas’ life have been so mysteriously and closely linked together that separation is very difficult. Severance is impossible in this life."

18. Divine Love Transforms

8 p.m. Bhajan was just over. The evening post brought many letters which Papa was busy reading for some time. In front of him were seated a number of devotees. During the talks that followed, Papa referred to an incident early in his itinerant life.

He said, "When Ramdas was in Lahore once, he was the guest of Ramchandra Gupta. One day this friend took Ramdas to the house of an advocate. Ramdas waited in the drawing room and Ramchandra Gupta went inside to inform the friend about the arrival of Ramdas. More than ten minutes elapsed before they came out and sat opposite to Ramdas. The advocate's face showed that he did not at all like Ramdas’ visit. Soon he started talking against sadhus generally and remarked: These Sadhus are going from place to place serve their own selfish ends. They make money and have disciples only to live in ease and comfort. They go about visiting the houses of devotees so that they may get good and rich food daily."

"Ramdas was listening to these words silently. When the advocate stopped, Ramdas talked for some time on divine love, making absolutely no reference to what the advocate had said so far. Ramdas said that divine love was very powerful. It was above everything else and it was given even in return for hate. The talk went on in this vein for some time. Gupta was naturally very much disturbed over the cold reception given to Ramdas there. But he was not aware of the great transformation that was silently taking place in the heart of his advocate friend as a result of Ramdas' words. Gupta pointed out to Ramdas that it was time to leave, and both got up. The advocate friend also got up, but now quite a changed man. With folded hands he begged of Ramdas to excuse him for what he had said and, to the great surprise of Gupta, also requested that Ramdas should be pleased to accept bhiksha in his house the next day. Ramdas readily accepted the invitation, and was treated with all love and kindness when he went there the next day. Thus, you see, divine love is a great transformer."

August 14, 1951

19. Difficulties with Sadhakas and Orphans

Mataji often said that the starting of the ashram was a great mistake, and expanding its activities was a still greater mistake. She had many things to look after. In the early days she wished that sincere sadhakas should be given the chance to be with Papa, to have the privilege of serving him and thereby to progress on the spiritual path. Therefore, many were admitted and advised to do some small service and spend the rest of their time in sadhana. But, unfortunately, instead of progressing, they started finding fault with the ashram administration, Mataji and Papa. So, Papa advised them for their own good to leave the ashram. Mataji then resolved not to encourage sadhakas to stay permanently in the ashram.

Mataji was then bringing up poor orphan children in the ashram. They were looked after by her with great affection. Their requirements were met in every way. They were sent to school or taught by tutors and enjoyed more than average comforts. But the pity of it was that they often proved disobedient even to her, and behaved rudely to others. There was no end to the troubles they sometimes gave her. She would patiently hear complaints about them from many quarters and simply say: "What am I to do? It is very difficult to change one's character formed in early childhood. Look at the boy Chandrasekhar. He was put under the care of the headmaster for proper training. For some time he seemed to be shaping well. Now he is no longer under the control of the headmaster, as he has joined another school. So he has reverted to his bad ways. His tendencies were only repressed for a time when he was with the headmaster, who, it would appear, was given to beating the boy; and now they are coming out again with greater force."

It was 5.30 p.m. Papa was sitting in the open, near the cement benches in front of the bhajan-hall. The weather was fine. S was near him. The boy Chandrasekhar came there. Papa called him near and told him: "Look here, Ramdas understands that you are falling into your old ways. If Ramdas hears complaints about you any more, he will have to send you away. We do not want here boys who are disobedient, who insult others and who make themselves in many ways a nuisance to the ashram. You are also reported to be getting up very late in the mornings. This habit is bad for you. From tomorrow you should get up at six o'clock and write Ram Nam till seven. This will make you behave better, as your mind will then be calm."

A few minutes afterwards Ramkishor was seen plucking leaves, causing, injury to plants in front of the bhajan-hall. Papa had warned him many times that he should not do so. Papa called him near and admonished him saying: "Ramkishor, you have been warned several times not to hurt plants. You are by that causing great pain to them. If you repeat this again, you will punished for it."

How kindly Papa took care of, moulded and guided children! Sometimes he advised them, sometimes admonished them, only with a view to freeing them of their bad habits and enabling them to develop good qualities. He watched the children so closely that it needed infinite patience which he alone had.

20. Misunderstanding Cleared

When on a tour of Saurashtra in March that year, Papa and Mataji were about to leave Bhavnagar for Rajkot, a report reached them that some of the devotees of Sri Ranchhoddasji Maharaj of Rajkot, all of whom had warmly received and honoured Papa on the occasion of his visit in 1949, had then (in March 1951) removed the photos of Papa and Mataji from their homes, and a few of them had even left Rajkot to avoid meeting them. Still a few met Papa and Mataji. One among them, Sri J Jobanputra, Collector of the district of Rajkot, had invited them to his house. In the course of the conversation they were shown the photograph of a saint whom they did not recognise. Sri Jobanputra said that it was the photo of Sri Ranchhoddasji Maharaj, to whom the courtesy due to a saint was reported to have not been extended by Mataji during his stay at Anandashram a few years before, as he was then asked to prepare cakes out of cow-dung. Mataji denied all knowledge of any such incident and added: "I do not remember having ever done so. Even if it be true, I am only his child and the Mahatma could excuse me, treating the ashram as his own. Anyhow, if I had done so, I tender my sincere apologies."

The letter received that day was from Chakkubhai, one of Papa's devotees at Rajkot. Chakkubhai had met Sri Ranchhoddasji Maharaj at Chitrakut where the saint then was. On being informed of the above incident the saint said that he had been at Anandashram for eighteen days some twelve or thirteen years before; that he prepared his own food; that he saw Mataji toil at almost the entire work of the ashram herself with little assistance; that he offered to share the work of the goshala and joined others in the making of cow-dung cakes; that he was sorry for the misunderstanding on the part of his householder devotees of Rajkot; that he himself was away from Rajkot on both occasions when Papa was in Rajkot in 1949 and 1951 and so could not meet Papa; that he had a high esteem for Papa whom he considered as an avatar of Sri Rama and that he would himself be writing to Papa to convey his regret at the misunderstanding. Sri Ranchhoddasji Maharaj's letter in similar terms was received the same day. The two letters cleared up the unfortunate misunderstanding, much to the joy and happiness of Papa and Mataji.

(When Papa and Mataji visited Rajkot in 1952, they were invited by the disciples of Sri Rachhoddasji Maharaj to their ashram and were treated with all love and devotion.)