← The Gospel of Swami RamdasHis talks, as recorded by Swami Satchidananda

1957-10-10

Chapter 54

Anandashram, October 10, 1957

556 A gift parcel

The previous day, Mataji was taking out some fruits and sorting them in the kitchen. On seeing S she said, "Swami … has sent this parcel of fruits and also a tin of sweets. You take one sweet ball from that tin. The Swamiji has written that these are intended for Papa, myself and you."

S: What? Has the Swamiji written like that?

Mataji: That was how I understood from what Papa told me. I was not at all happy to hear that. It is not becoming of a Swami to write in that way. He could have at least added 'and for others in the ashram'. When I knew it was only for the three of us, I did not feel like taking anything from this. Still I ate a sweet ball saying to myself that I am eating that for all. From those who put on ochre cloth we expect a wider vision. I am not pointing this out as a fault of the Swami – I am again and again impressing upon you all the need to maintain always the universal outlook. How long are you to go on with this narrow outlook?

That day, at 8.30 a.m. Papa handed over to S the letters received the day before with instructions for the replies. Then he passed on a slip of paper to S saying, "This is the chit that was in the parcel that came from Swami … yesterday. You may acknowledge receipt of the parcel."

S took the chit and read the contents which ran as follows: "A humble offering to HH Sri Ramdasji and Mother Krishnabai, Sri Satchidanandaji and other members of your Anandashram.

S immediately recollected what Mataji had told him the previous evening on the subject.

He therefore told Papa: "Yesterday Mataji was under the impression that Swami … had written that the contents were for three of us only. On that account she was very unhappy. She could not stand a swami writing that way. But the Swamiji has written clearly, ‘and other members’…."

Papa: You must tell Mataji about it.

S: Yes, I shall tell her.

Papa left the office room and walked towards the kitchen, S following, Mataji was standing on the veranda.

S (to Mataji): Swamiji has written clearly in the chit that the contents of the parcel are for distribution among all members in the ashram.

Mataji: Is it so? That is very good. I did not clearly understand when Papa told me yesterday. Now it is all right.

Papa: Swamiji will not do any such thing. He is a man of experience.

Mataji: I should not speak unless I understand well.

Papa and S went to the carpenter-shed, then to the pandal for plucking two cucumbers, and thence to Narasimha Iyer house to see the painting work and finally Papa sat on a chair under the banyan tree. Rukmabai brought a few vegetables on a plate for Papa to choose what he would have for lunch.

557. A bull fight

The ashram cattle were seen going out for grazing. Two bulls were engaged in a fierce fight, while other cows, buffaloes, etc., walked on. This scene was very clear from where Papa sat. The fight went on for about half on hour. Both were equally strong and therefore there was no chance of any one getting defeated.

Papa: We are seeing the bull-fight without paying any charge for it. Now for anybody to go near and separate them is dangerous. They will stop fighting only when they get tired.

By then Appukuttan, the chalak (organiser) of ‘Ambar Charkha’ work under the Akhil Bharat Sarva Seva Sangh, who had come that morning, was standing near Papa to discuss the Ambar Charkha classes to be started there in the upstairs hall of the SK Vidyalaya. The Charkhas had already arrived and they were being assembled. Manindra Chandra Lahiri was to take charge of the training work after he first got trained and qualified for the work.

Papa called Subbaram and told him: "Ask Mataji to come here. She can see the bull-fight if she comes here immediately and also discuss the Ambar Charkha work.

Mataji came there shortly afterwards and saw the bulls still fighting. She remarked: "They won't give up till one is defeated."

She then told Papa that she had no time to discuss as she had something else to attend to immediately. So Papa postponed the discussion for the afternoon.

October 12, 1957

Sadhu Bhandasji, his brother Ramjee Arjun, and his mother arrived at 8.15 in the morning. The car stopped near the banyan tree beneath which Papa was sitting. Papa got up to receive the Sadhuji who had by then alighted from the car and approaching Papa garlanded him. His brother and mother then paid their respects to Papa. They were then taken to Mataji who was then in the kitchen.

Sadhu Bhandasji was a native of Kutch. He was the disciple of Sant Garibdasji and had an ashram near Bhuj. He was about forty years of age, and always wore white clothes.

October 13, 1957

558. Ashram finances

S came to see Mataji at 7 a.m. in the kitchen as usual, before breakfast.

Mataji: Yesterday itself I said I would tell you about the conversation I had with Papa. Have you forgotten it?

S: Yesterday it was not convenient, nor did I remember it.

The financial condition of the ashram ever since its Silver Jubilee in 1955 had not been very good. In the early part of 1956 the ashram liabilities were more than rupees sixtyfive thousand. The amount was gradually cleared by the handsome donations specially offered for the purpose by Gunvantrai T Kamdar, Natverlal G Parikh, Bansidhar G Parikh and their families. The dues were completely cleared off in April 1957. But again, as the monthly donations received did not cover the expenses, the ashram had been getting into the red. The amounts due to the provision merchants and others had been steadily on the increase.

Mataji's generous nature did not permit her to reduce the expenditure and avoid running into debts. She had been wishing to reduce the expenditure but she miserably failed in actual practice. When the amounts due were rising, she was feeling sure that Papa would arrange to meet the demands in time. She never felt that she was in want. When on an earlier occasion S asked Mataji what her reaction was to those debts and the pressing monetary demands, her reply was that she never felt she was without money. She was always conscious that she was the eternal child of Papa who was the whole universe and beyond, and therefore all the moneys in the world were at his disposal. The question arose how the demands were to be met. She said that even a very rich man was sometimes, put in such situations and that in spite of all his bank balances he could not pay ready cash if someone demanded urgently. She said a rich man, if pressed to give a large sum in cash, say, on a Saturday evening, might find it difficult to meet the demand till the banks opened on Monday morning. So, she knew her money was only temporarily locked up and would be available for payment soon. She had however not been bold enough to tell Papa about the financial position from time to time; nor was Papa asking about it. But whenever Papa enquired about the position, her answer was evasive. She had instructed the office not to keep ready the outstanding list lest Papa should ask for it. Papa, no doubt, knew vaguely that large amounts were due to the merchants, but not the exact figure.

For the past two weeks Appayya Narsing Rao was being paid almost everyday and Papa came to know about it and enquired why he alone was paid and not the others, and whether the amount already paid to Appayya was not in excess of what was due. When Mataji answered that money was still due to him, Papa was not satisfied. So he called for details from the office of the amounts paid to Appayya and the amount still due to him. The list which showed dues of over four thousand rupees was given to Papa by Mukund Rao (cashier and accountant) and after Papa saw that, he had a talk with Mataji. It was about that Mataji wanted to tell S.

Mataji (opening the lock of the kitchen store-room): I shall tell you now itself. It won't take long and we can stand here in the store-room.

Mataji: When Mukund gave the statement of accounts to Papa, Appayya and I were also there. Papa then asked me why he was not apprised of the accounts. I replied that I purposely did not tell him since heavy outstandings would worry him which was not good for his diabetic trouble. He asked me why I presumed so. He had himself told you last year that he too was a human being and was at times sleepless on account of the ashram finances. Papa did not further pursue the subject; but at night, he asked if he looked worried and what I took him for. I replied that I took him to be all-knowing. For some time he did not say anything. A little later, he asked if it was not right for him as Ishwara to worry or be anxious for the welfare of the devotees. I replied, 'yes'. Again he asked if it was not also right that he should not, as a devotee of God, worry at all for anything. I again replied, 'yes'."

559. Ambar Charkha class

A little after 8 a.m. Papa and Mataji, accompanied by a number of ashramites and also Sadhu Bhandasji, went to the hall upstairs in the Sri Krishna Vidyalaya where the Ambar Charkha class was to be opened.

Papa and Sadhu Bhandasji sat on a cushioned seat there. Motiben and Manindra Chandra Lahiri performed pada-pooja to Papa in the midst of singing of Ram Nam. Pooja over, Papa saw the demonstration of the working of the charkha and returned after spending about half an hour.

October 14, 1957

560. The coming of the Hamiltons – Christ consciousness is cosmic consciousness.

Rev Ralph B Hamilton and Yogacharya Mildred Hamilton were expected at 8.30 a.m. From early morning Papa had been busy with the arrangements for them in the new guest house. After satisfying himself about the arrangements Papa came to Panchavati and sat under the banyan tree. In a short while a car arrived and stopped near the tree. Papa got up and came near the car. Mildred Hamilton, who got down first, came to Papa almost in ecstasy, took his arm in hers, asked him how he was, and expressed how happy she was to be there. Ralph Hamilton also paid his respects to Papa. Their faces shone with joy. Papa too felt overwhelmingly happy to receive them coming as they did from such a distant place as Seattle in USA. He took them to the rooms enquiring on the way how their journey was. They said they were very happy, that they met some of Papa's devotees on the way: NC Patel in Singapore, K Ramachandra, Ghanshamdas and party in Ceylon and Veeraraghavan at Coimbatore, who were all very loving and helpful to them in every way.

They entered the room and immediately Papa asked for tea to be brought.

Papa: Now that you have come and have no more responsibilities in Seattle, you may stay on here as long as you want.

Mildred: That is very fine, Papa.

The conversation went on in a lighter vein for a while. They explained how it was made possible for them to come there and how happy they were as their wish had been fulfilled.

MH: Papa, when I was sitting with you at the Seattle airport I asked when we would meet again. You told me, 'If the desire of the devotee is very keen, God will fulfil it. How true, Papa! Otherwise, it would not have been possible for us to come here. We have come here only for you. You are God in human form. I know you would say that God is everywhere and that all forms are God's. But, for me, yours is different. You are God Himself made manifest.

Tea was brought and Papa said: "You must be hungry; have tea."

MH: Papa, really I am not feeling hungry at all. I am filled with God. God is my food.

Papa urged them to take tea without further delay. So they went to the table. Papa also got up. Thinking that Papa was going away from the room, Mildred called out a little loudly, "Papa, please don't go away. Sit here (on the cot)." Papa took his seat.

MH: We have been thinking of you. We have been telling our friends about you. Papa, my Guru taught the same thing as you tell us now. I tell people that you are the ideal our Guru taught. Is not Christ-consciousness lower than cosmic consciousness? I mean to say, was Jesus Christ not in the dual plane?

Papa: Christ-consciousness is the highest consciousness, that is, Cosmic consciousness. Jesus had a body and that was the manifestation of the Cosmic consciousness. Jesus had often said: 'I and my Father are one' – 'I am on my Father's business.' He maintained his oneness with the Supreme Truth, but at the same time said that he was the son of the Father in Heaven. He saw evil so as to set the evil-doers right. He lashed at the money-lenders to make them give up their evil. Christ was the very personification of God.

MH: Christ was and you are, Papa! (Papa laughs). It seems you had mentioned somewhere that it would take at least a hundred years for Japan to progress spiritually.

Papa: Ramdas does not remember to have made any such statement. He has only mentioned in the book ‘Word is God’, that Japan should rise again and carve out a great future on the lines of the principles taught by the four great religions: Shintoism, Confucianism, Taoism and Buddhism.

MH: What I don't like is the idol worship that is going on there. It seems, when somebody goes to a temple there, he is supposed to clap his hands and make a sound to draw God's attention to him.

S: In the Hindu temples also there are gongs which the devotees strike when they go for worship.

Ralph: Does this not show that they do not consider God as all-pervading? We are told that when somebody prays before an idol his conception is that God who is all-pervading, all-powerful and all-knowing, has taken that form, as also all other forms. Does he really feel so when he prays?

Papa: When a devotee stands before an image he must feel that image is only a form of the Supreme Being. Through the worship of the form he must go to the formless.

RH: But they do not seem to think of the formless at all. They seem to be satisfied with the worship of a particular image.

Papa: That won't do. Ramdas has been telling everybody that idol worship is only a stage which has to be transcended.

MH: But they consider it as the end. Why should they have that stage at all?

Papa: For children in the spiritual line, there must be something to hold on to. Those who crawl must get up to stand only by holding on to some support. Worship of the personal form is that support. If they do not have that support they will never be able to stand up at all. After they stand properly they can give up the support.

MH: But they don't give up the support.

Papa: Take the case of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. He was worshipping the image of Kali. Later he found Her in himself and everywhere with the result that he did not find any necessity to go to the temple at all. So one must go beyond the forms by the worship of a form of God. It is not easy to think of the impersonal straightaway. Many cannot. But Ramdas is never for anyone worshipping a particular form of God all his life. That is not the purpose of image worship. You see what has happened among the Buddhists. Buddha condemned image worship. But his devotees made an image of Buddha and are worshipping it. It is impossible to give up image worship entirely. You must have something to cling to.

MH (pointing to Ralph): Papa, I call him father, you are my Papa. I have love. He has reason. I give him a little of my love and he gives me a little of his reason. Thus we are trying to balance love and reason. We have come here 'full'. We want the final touch from you, so that we may be stabilised in Divine Consciousness.

Papa: You will have it. You have come for that and you will surely have it.

MH: It is by God's will alone that we have come here. God told me that I should take him (Ralph) to Him. Now I fulfilled my duty. From now it is your responsibility to look after him. (Papa laughs)

RH: Papa has very big hands to take this responsibility.

Papa: Oh yes.

MH: I have love. But I cannot say that I have been able to love everyone equally. Mostly I am successful. In a few cases I have not been able to accept them as divine. I simply could not. I know the fault is mine. One thing, even if they tried to do any harm to me, I did not take revenge. There I accepted your advice.

Papa: Revenge is not in your nature. You are all love. Things do not always happen as we wish. Leave them to God's will. God knows best.

The conversation continued for some time more when Papa asked them about the friends in Seattle, Bob Raymer and others. Papa told them that Raymer had given up his business and was going to make a spiritual colony in the land he had purchased for the purpose. Mildred said it would have been fine if Raymer also had come here. When the conversation was going on, Mataji came to greet the Hamiltons. Mildred embraced her warmly while Ralph paid his respect to her with folded palms. Papa told them briefly the daily programme of the ashram beginning with meditation at 5.30 a.m. He said: "As Ramdas' health was not good he was not coming for the meditation so far. But from tomorrow he will be sitting there. Ramdas trusts you too will be coming."

MH: Surely. We have come for that.

When Papa asked them if the accommodation was convenient, Ralph said that when they left Seattle they expected nothing but Papa. So whatever they got by way of convenience was above their expectations.

It was past 10 o'clock. Papa got up and went for his bath.

The Hamiltons came to Papa's room at 3 o'clock when Papa was taking coffee. They sat on the chairs in front of Papa. Tea was brought for them. Papa got up, opened his almirah, took out a tin of biscuits and gave a few to each of them, conversing all the time. The main topic was sale of Anandashram books in USA and Papa's proposal to see if any one would undertake to bring out American editions of some of the books.

MH: You have mentioned somewhere that you had been to Ramana Maharshi and that by his look your spiritual fulfilment was achieved.

Papa: Yes.

MH: We have come here for that purpose. We are to get that type of influence and grace you got from Maharshi.

Papa: Are you in that state of mind as Ramdas was when he stood before the Maharshi?

MH: I think we are. Don't you think so?

Papa: Yes, you must be. You have come with so much aspiration from such a distant place.

As Papa was to get ready for the usual reading at 4 o'clock, S took them out to show them round the ashram.

October 15, 1957

561. Papa narrating enlightening stories

About 8 a.m. Papa left the office with S handing him the previous day's letters for reply. They both came in front of the bhajan-hall and stood there awhile.

Papa: How is Mildred Hamilton this morning?

S: I have not seen her this morning. Are we going there?

Papa: Ramdas thinks it is too early. He does not want to disturb them. You may please find out if Ramdas can go there.

Papa walked towards the chairs kept under the banyan tree. S went to Hamiltons' room and found both were yet to be ready to receive Papa. So at 9.30 Papa and S went there together and found them waiting.

Papa: How are you? How is the back pain?

MH: I am all right, Papa. Only the back gives a little pain.

On hearing Mildred's remark, Papa laughed and said: "Ramdas shall tell you a story. There was a great stoic philosopher. Ramdas does not exactly remember to which country he belonged. But in fact, sages belong to all countries. His name was Epictetus. He was a slave under the Roman Emperor and he was harshly punished by his master even for slight mistakes. He was beaten almost everyday by his master. One day for a trifling fault of Epictetus the master beat him so severely that his leg broke and he became lame. After some time a friend of Epictetus, who lived far away, came to see him and finding him limping asked him how he became lame. Then Epictetus gave a characteristic reply, 'I am not lame, but my leg is lame'. His detachment from the body was so perfect that he felt that whatever happened to it had nothing to do with him."

MH: So I am all right. The back alone gives a little pain.

Papa: Ramdas will tell you another story which he read in a book several years ago: A priest was giving a sermon in a church. Hundreds of people formed the congregation in which there were some diseased, poor and crippled persons. The priest told the people that God does not make any difference between the rich and the poor, the diseased and the healthy, the able-bodied and the cripple. His grace pours on all alike whatever their external conditions. In the course of the sermon, the priest's eye lighted upon a broken candle lying on the floor. He got down from the pulpit and took up the candle and holding it before the congregation, lit it with a match, and it gave light. The candle was crushed and crippled, but the touch of the flame made it bright with light. The match did not deny its fire to the candle just because it was broken, and the candle threw full light in spite of its broken condition. This shows that even cripples are not disqualified from obtaining the vision of God. They too have the light of God within them and will shine forth as in the case of anybody else."

MH (laughing): Papa, I am not a cripple.

Papa: No, you are not a cripple. Ramdas did not compare you to the broken candle. Somehow he remembered the story. That's all.

MH: I am glad you told me this story. I have a friend who is a cripple. She has immense faith in God and on account of her faith she could throw away her crutches last year. I shall send this story to her. She will be very happy.

Papa: You may write to her by all means.

MH: She is a wonderful soul. She does not worry about the external things at all. Her vision is drawn inwards.

Papa: When you said her vision is drawn inwards, Ramdas remembers an incident that happened during one of his travels. In the early days of his travel he met a Mahatma who was blind in both the eyes. When Ramdas went to see this Mahatma there was with him a good and experienced doctor. Seeing the sadhu blind, the doctor examined his eyes and told him that a simple operation would set both his eyes right and give him clear vision, and that he was prepared to take him to his place and perform the operation himself. To this the Mahatma replied that he was happy his external vision was taken away as he was quite satisfied with the internal vision he had and did not care for the external vision.

MH: Papa, that is wonderful. My Master used to say that the eyes are thieves that do not allow the soul to turn towards God within. He also used to say that good and evil are both thieves that do not permit the soul to reach God.

Papa: That means that you have to go beyond good and evil to realise God.

RH: You are taking stories one after the other from your store-house.

Papa: Ramdas has a large collection of stories. They come out one by one when occasion arises.

S: There are about fifty stories in the book ‘Ramdas Speaks’ told during the world tour.

Papa looked at his watch and expressed that it was time for him to go. He got up and came near the door. He suggested that in view of Mildred's indisposition she might rest and not come to see him in the afternoon, and he would come to see them in their room. Mildred did not agree as she knew Papa would be more comfortable in his room where he could sit under the punkha, and also as she was not that bad.

MH: Papa, I am all right. The back alone has a little pain. (Papa laughs). The attitude of master and servant...

Papa: The Lord says that the master is Himself. The servant is Himself. Everything is He. Then where is the problem?

Saying this Papa walked away, leaving them to laugh to their heart's content.

562. Mansur, the mystic

2 p.m. Papa's room. Papa was ready to receive Mildred and Ralph Hamilton. Presently they came and sat on the chairs in front of Papa. The punkha in the room was pulled as it was getting very warm.

MH: Papa, I was sitting and writing in the room. Suddenly Papa was before me (in my mental vision). We got up and came here.

Papa: So you seem to have been possessed by Papa. Sit down. Ramdas will read out something from this book, ‘The Persian Mystics’:

"Mansur was a great sufi saint. He had experienced oneness with God. Thereafter, he was going on saying 'Anal Haq', meaning 'I am God'. In those days it was considered blasphemous. He was very much persecuted and was finally pitched on a spear or a trident that was fixed on the ground. Blood was dripping from his wound. Wonderful it was! Each drop of the blood that fell down repeated the words 'Anal Haq'."

Papa then read out:

When Mansur was imprisoned For proclaiming oneness with God, His friend Shibli asked him, "What is this love?" "Come tomorrow for answer", he said. Shibli obeyed and found Mansur Facing the gallows. Mansur looked at him And said, "Read the answer: Love begins in absorbing the 'I' And ends thus." "Its noose tightens To squeeze out the self Then comes the test of the cross. Stay if thou apprehendest the secret, otherwise go."

After finishing the reading, Papa raised his head with a beaming smile, looked at both of them and said. "Hear what he says:- 'Love begins in absorbing the 'I' and ends thus." He then turned the page over and again read:

"If a lame dog Finds admission at Thy gate And the weary are refreshed by Thy sight No reason have I for despair."

Papa then turned a few pages backwards and started reading:

"O Lord, if Thou holdest me responsible for my sins, I shall cling to Thee for Thy Grace. I, with my sin, am an insignificant atom, Thy Grace is resplendent as the Sun."

Papa (raising his head again and looking at them) asked, is Ramdas boring you by reading this? and laughed.

MH: Are we separate from you? Are the children different from Papa?

Papa (laughing): Now Ramdas remembers something that happened many years ago. During his travels he came to the ashram of that saint (pointing to the picture of Sri Siddharudha Swami on the wall) in Hubli. In those days Ramdas was taking no food in the evenings. Even during the day he would take only a little rice and milk and keep awake all the night repeating God's name. One night he was sitting in the veranda of the samadhi temple there. A devotee of that ashram came to him and asked if Ramdas would like to have some food. As Ramdas did not reply, he repeated his question. Ramdas was not in a mood to eat as he was blissfully absorbed in the Divine. He, therefore, asked the young man, 'To whom are you putting the question?' He replied, 'To you'. Ramdas then asked him, "Is there a thing such as you or I when all is one...?" That young devotee remarked: "You are in the upper storey, eh' and went away. So you are in that high plane where everything is one, where you and I do not exist!