← The Gospel of Swami RamdasHis talks, as recorded by Swami Satchidananda

1953-10-18

Chapter 26

Anandashram, October 18, 1953

220. The Cuckoo clock – Definite purpose behind mistakes

Natverlal and his wife left this morning at 8 o'clock. They had brought a clock for Papa, purchased by them in Switzerland. The peculiarity of the clock was that whenever it had to strike the hour and the half-hour, a small door opened above the dial, a tiny bird peeped out and made a 'coo-coo' sound as many times as needed to denote the time and went inside closing the door. The bird looked so natural and realistic that it had become a centre of great attraction for young and old alike. Every time the bird came out Papa watched it, seeming to enjoy it as if he saw the clock for the first time. It had been adorning the wall in Papa's room for over a week but still its novelty had not worn off.

Papa, S and Iqbal Nath, who had come from Bangalore during his holidays, were in the room. It was nearing eleven o'clock. Mirabai (Mrs T Mukund Rao), who was away for the past ten days, returned that morning and came to meet Papa.

Papa: You have not seen this new clock. Have you?

Mirabai: No, Papa.

Papa: In five minutes you will see that small door will open and a little bird will come out and make a 'coo-coo' sound eleven times. It is a great fun, watch it.

She waited to see the mysterious bird, and Papa also was gazing at the clock. It was eleven. The bird came out and, after cooing eleven times, went in, closing the door.

Papa (while it was cooing on the stroke of eleven): Ah, look at that (laughs). (to S): This clock may not work satisfactorily for a long time.

S: It may not. These are after all fancy things. See the watch given to Papa by Bhai Pratap. It looks nice and must have cost a lot, but does not work properly.

Papa: Oh, Ramdas forgot to send that watch to Bhai Pratap through Natverlal. He could have got it repaired before we reached Bombay. Ramdas made a mistake. (Again after a few seconds) It cannot be a mistake. There must be some meaning in Ramdas’ forgetting to send it through Natverlal. Even the minutest actions are controlled by the Supreme Power. Every so-called mistake or slip must have a definite purpose behind it. Then how can we call it a mistake or a slip?

S: Why is it then that Papa sometimes says he made a mistake?

Papa (laughing a while): These words are in the vocabulary. So Ramdas must use them as there are no other suitable words to explain things.

S: So, Papa gives only so much value to these words.

Papa: Through these expressions we must go deeper into the real meaning.

Mataji: Papa, bath is ready. Please come.

It was already late. So Papa hurried up to the bath-room.

221. Satsang benefits only the ardent

1 p.m. Mataji had sat down for meal in the dining-hall. On either side were the children who had come from the Mangalore Sevashram to spend their Dassera holidays here, and also daughters of Mukund Pai. All these girls were very anxious to sit beside Mataji as long as they were in the ashram. Devi, an old woman, came for meal and found that on Mataji's right there was a girl sitting but there was a little space between that girl and the wall. Devi wanted to squeeze herself into the space in order to sit near Mataji.

Though Mataji knew Devi's wish, she asked her to sit elsewhere. But Devi insisted on occupying that very place. At this, Mataji wanted to give her a bit of her mind.

Mataji: Devi, you sit somewhere else. Why are you particular about sitting there? Oh, you want to sit near me? Don't you? You do not want to obey me. What do you gain then by sitting near me? You gain nothing but more of anger. I do not want you to sit here. Go and sit somewhere else.

Devi quietly occupied a place away from Mataji.

Mataji (to S, MRR, and others): She is quite a character. She wants to sit by my side, but never listens to a single word of mine. The hubbub she creates when anybody asks her for a garland is something to be ashamed of. She plucks flowers and tulsi leaves and makes garlands daily. She is particular that she alone should garland Papa. Even if asked, she will not give a garland to anybody else. When anybody asks, she becomes so furious that she replies, "Garland! Go, go. Pluck flowers and make a garland. I cannot give you." Is this the mentality they should develop, staying with me, taking prasad and so on? The prasad only increases their bad temper and selfishness.

S: Unless they improve in your company and by your contact, where is salvation for them? Do you mean to say satsang has no value at all?

Mataji: But you must have the mind to improve. Otherwise, what is the use of our contact? You must be prepared to receive and we must be prepared to give. When we are prepared to give and you do not want it, what is the use? So one must have the ardent wish to improve. Then only one derives the benefit of satsang. Devotees who come here only for a short stay appear to progress better than those who stay with us always.

I told you all this because I was upset from the morning itself.

222. Jealousy hinders progress

S: What happened in the morning?

Mataji: Generally when I give anything to others by way of help, I forget all about it later. Sometimes I do not even know how much money I give them. I give them whatever I have without counting. Not that I always do so, but mostly so. I never talk about my charities to anybody, as far as possible even if I am aware how much I have given. I was wondering to myself when I started narrating this morning in detail all that I gave to a person, say X. No, I had better tell you more clearly. You saw the woman with her daughter who went this morning with Natverlal's party in the same car. Her condition is pitiable because of her extreme poverty. She was better off. An aunt or some relation of hers is a very rich woman and whenever she approaches her, she gives her old sarees, and some other help. So they are seen wearing costly sarees. Closely observed, one could see how old they are – full of holes. This woman has a number of children and she narrated to me all her troubles, and I did give her some money when she left. I was talking about this to Radha and others while cutting vegetables. Then Radha tells me that they do not seem to be poor; it is all a show outside to cheat me and take money from me; just like them, many people come and cheat me, and so on. From this I understood the mentality of the people around me. If that woman came to me under a false pretence of poverty, can I not say Radha also might be doing the same thing when she narrates all her difficulties? These people cannot tolerate my giving anything to others. Are they not themselves getting all benefits from us? So why should they grumble when some others get just a fraction of what they get? They themselves do not give. But why should they feel jealous when I give to others? Is this the progress they make by our contact? I had thought one might progress well if one was with us from childhood itself. But after seeing how Ramkishor is behaving, that illusion is also gone.

October 19, 1953

223. Don't give importance to petty matters

1 p.m. At lunch, Subbaram asked Mataji, "When I meet some people I feel a spontaneous love for them, speak to them, and do all sorts of service to them. In the case of certain other people, I do not even like to speak to them. Why is it so?

Mataji: Let it be so. You may sometimes feel like speaking to some and not to others. Sometimes you may like doing something but some other time not. You think of eating something, but suddenly refrain from eating. So, do not give any importance to such petty matters.

October 20, 1953

224. No outward mark for a Jivanmukta

9.30 p.m. Gopal had made Papa's bed. Papa was about to go to bed. Iqbal, Subbaram, and S were with him. Papa sat on his cot and asked Iqbal: "How is that Frenchman, Jean Bergerot? Has he any interest in religion?" (Iqbal had known him in Bangalore).

Iqbal: He has read a lot of books on Indian philosophy. I think he is spiritually minded too.

S: Did he not talk to Papa at all?

Papa: He talked once, immediately after his arrival, not after that.

Iqbal: I asked him to tell me his impressions about Papa.

Papa: MR Ramaswami also wanted the same thing, and has asked him to write it out for ‘The Vision’.

Iqbal: When I asked him, he said that he did not consider Papa a Jivanmukta. I was surprised, and asked him what made him think so. He said he found Papa easily disturbed when the children were making noise. He admits Papa is a holy person and so on, but not a jivanmukta yet.

Papa: Everybody forms his own opinion of Ramdas. They are quite at liberty to do so. Ramdas does ask the children to go away from here when they make noise. We cannot talk when they shout.

Iqbal: But I would be very sorry if he goes back with this impression. When he got such a unique privilege to come here and be with Papa, it is indeed a sad affair to return with such an impression. I told him that his judgment was wrong and that it is a pity these trifling things should create in him such an impression.

Papa: What can we do? We can't force things on them when they do not want them. It seems somebody criticised Sri Ramakrishna saying that he was not a spiritually advanced person, but only an ordinary man. Sri Ramakrishna then answered him that a God-realised man does not develop two horns on his head. You cannot find any outward mark for a Jivanmukta. And further, Ramdas does not pose to be a Jivanmukta. Is posing necessary? Perhaps those who pose are passed off as Jivanmuktas. When we are talking and the children make noise here, how can we allow them to have their own way? If Ramdas does not ask them to keep quiet, the critic may ask why Ramdas is tolerating the boys' shouting. In Ramanashram, Maharshi remained unconcerned with all such things. Devotees asked why he was not even advising the children to keep quiet. So, either way the critic has something to say. After all, a Jivanmukta is not a mere statue.

October 23, 1953

225. Use of Ganja ruinous

4.30 p.m. Papa, followed by Jean Bergerot, Balayogi, Subbaram and S went for a walk. From outside the gate they could see Swami Krishnananda coming from the Udyog Shala. Swami Krishnananda had come a few days back from Guruvayur where he intends settling down for intense sadhana. In a few minutes he also joined Papa and party.

S: Swamiji, are they photos that you have in the packet in your hand?

Swami K: I got Papa's and Mother's photos to take to Guruvayur. (to Papa): With Papa's grace alone I can succeed in my five-year plan of sadhana.

Papa: Is it like the Soviet five-year plan?

Swami K: This is a plan of intense sadhana. I will keep these two photos there on a raised pedestal, agarbattis will be burning, a few books also will be on the pedestal, and I will sit on an asan facing the photographs.

Papa: Why all these external paraphernalia?

Swami K: Really I do not need these external aids for the type of japa I do. I take my mind only within. But I am having these external things to keep people away from me. When they come and see me sitting in front of the pictures and all other things they will know that I am sitting for pooja and therefore will quietly go away whereas if they see me sitting alone without these external articles of worship, there is every likelihood of their dragging me into talks and so on.

Papa: So you are going to keep Ramdas and Mataji there as scarecrows! (a peal of laughter).

The group then walked about a mile on the road towards the east. It was about sadhus and the use of ganja that Papa talked all the way. He said, "There are many sadhus who are addicted to ganja. When Ramdas was wandering with them, they used to force him also to smoke ganja, and Ramdas did use it a few times. They say it helps meditation. But the greatest danger is that they find it impossible to live without it later."

S: In what way does it help meditation?

Papa: It can make one forget all about the world.

S: That does not mean the mind will be on God. Even concentration will be impossible then.

Papa: Though the mind will be away from worldly thoughts, it will not be fixed anywhere. It won't give a positive joy. It will be only the absence of worldly cares, a purely negative state.

Swami K: Then how can one say it helps meditation?

Papa: By forgetting the world one becomes free from those worries and the state of absence of worries is mistaken to be a high plane. But this ganja, in course of time, ruins a man.

S: What is the difference between the intoxication caused by liquor and that by ganja?

Papa: That caused by liquor is something bestial, whereas that caused by ganja does not give rise to low thoughts.

226. The simplest Sadhana – Advantage of Service

Then the party turned round and, as it was likely to rain, all walked fast to reach the ashram early. Papa sat on the asan, and Swami Krishnananda and S in front of him on the floor.

Papa: Ram Nam is the thing that you must keep up all the time without break. This is the best and simplest sadhana. Can you remain in the world and be dead to it? Can you talk, act and move about and yet be dead to the world?

Swami K: What does Papa mean by 'being dead to the world'?

Papa: Absolutely detached, unconcerned. Whatever may happen in front of you, you are not affected. You do things like an automaton, because you are worked by the higher power.

Swami K: Papa, we can remain detached everywhere, except when we see suffering.

Papa: Which part of your being is affected by the suffering? It will be a part that belongs to the manifestation. You true being is different from the manifestation and so how can your real being be affected? You are a pure witness.

Swami K: When we give whatever possible help to relieve the suffering, then we feel happy.

Papa: Again, watch which part of the being feels happy. You will find that it is only the manifested part. All the movements, all the feelings of sorrow and happiness, and the sufferings, and the relief from suffering – all these belong to the plane of manifestation. Of course, when someone is suffering, we can help him. Our heart melts and we come down to the level of the sufferer and feel completely one with him. Sometimes we may weep with the sufferer, though not always outwardly, and when we feel one with him he is, to a great extent, relieved of the suffering. This purifies us too. This is the advantage of service. We feel one with the served. When we serve saints, we lose ourselves in the service, forget our ego-sense and feel one with them. This will take us up quickly. In either service we attain to a high state of purity and our ego-sense gradually disappears – by humbling ourselves while serving the distressed, and by raising ourselves to their level while serving saints.

Papa continued: "How can we sympathise with those who suffer? It is possible only when we have got a pure heart. How can we have a pure heart? Only when it becomes God's own heart. Ask those people who are hanging around, if they can feel for the sufferings of others. They weep when their kith and kin suffer, but not for others. Here the sense of my-ness is obstructing them. What an amount of mischief the ego-sense does? After all it is only a ‘sense’ and not anything that exists. Saints, who have once for all shed their ego-sense, wonder how a thing that has no existence at all becomes the cause of so much misery to man. When we shed the ego-sense, how sweet everything is!"

Swami K: What is the nature of that sweetness?

Papa: It is pure bliss – unadulterated bliss permeating each and every cell of our body. Later we realise that the same bliss is pervading everywhere. We swim in an ocean of bliss.

October 24, 1953

227. No harm where love is

Recently it was found that there was a higher percentage of sugar in Papa's urine. Since then he had been adjusting his diet very strictly, and taking regular evening walks. The diet and the walks had done him good and reduced the sugar in urine. In the morning, when the urine was tested, the sugar was reported to be nearly normal. Mataji was happy to hear that.

Papa (to Mataji): Did you hear the urine-test result? And do you know what Ramdas ate yesterday? He took dosai (made or rice) and jaggery with it. Still the sugar in the urine is much less.

Mataji (laughing): It would be better to take dosai daily so that sugar may be less. The dosais were brought with intense love by Radha (Kogganna's wife), and that has worked the miracle. You ought to have seen Radha when she brought it for you. I met her on the way. As I had nothing to take along with my tea, when I saw her carrying dosai for Papa last evening, I told her that Papa might not take it but that I might be given one or two by her. You see, she wouldn't give me. She said Papa should eat first and that he ‘would’ eat. Then in a short time she brought me hot, hot dosais. Things given with such love will not cause any harm to the body.

In the forenoon Mataji told Papa that Radha would bring for him idli and kheer. Papa took them with the noon meal. The afternoon urine was again nearly clear.

Papa (to S): Today the urine is very clear. Ramdas’ evening walk is responsible for this.

S: But Mataji attributes it to Radha's dosai, idli and kheer served to Papa with great love.

Papa: Let Mataji and others think like that and go on giving Ramdas sweet and delicious preparations. In the meantime we must keep up our walk. If we give up walking, the whole fun is gone.

October 25, 1953

228. Papa's diabetes

10.15 a.m. Papa was waiting in the room for the usual massage before bath. S prepared Papa's bed for massage. Swami Krishnananda was also in the room, fanning Papa.

S: Papa, shall we start out massage business?

Papa: Yes, Ramdas is ready.

Then Swami K was about to leave the room, but Papa asked him to stay on.

Papa (to S): During massage last night Ramdas had a talk with Ram.

S: About what, Papa?

Papa: About Ramdas’ diabetes.

S: What did He say?

Papa: He says, if Ramdas does not control his diet he will become another Ambakka.

Ambakka was an old mother in the ashram suffering from severe diabetes and had a carbuncle on her back. The carbuncle did not heal. If one healed, another one cropped up.

S: That is horrible. One should not be like Ambakka. Is he not going to cure Papa's diabetes?

Papa: That is not Ramdas’ concern. His will be done!

S: How long is He going to keep Papa under strict diet?

Papa: He says Ramdas has been eating sweets all these sixty-five years and he should not crave for them any longer.

S: But, at least to satisfy the devotees who are anxious to feed Papa with various sweets, Ram should free Papa from diabetes.

Papa: Do you know what He says? If Ramdas is carried away by the so-called love of the devotees, he will have to suffer.

S: Is it only so-called love?

Papa: Yes. There is no proper understanding behind it. That is all misplaced love. Ram says, 'They will make you eat anything and everything and hasten your body's departure. The devotees themselves are responsible for your diabetes'. So, Ramdas has to be careful and adjust his diet. His evening walks also will help. He should not be lazy to take the walk. If Ram wills that this body should last long, He will make Ramdas give up his laziness for the evening walk.

229. The Only Solution for all Problems

9.30 a.m. Papa was lying down. Mataji was sitting on one side and S on the other side for massaging him.

Papa (to S): We call Him all-compassionate, all-merciful and so on. What is the meaning of all these? He sometimes keeps His devotees weeping and wailing all their life until death. He does not come to them. Is it mercy? Ramdas has seen cases where some devotees had been burning with intense longing for Him all their lives. But He did not come. What do you say about this? What is the solution?

S: Why is He doing so? Can we call Him cruel, then?

Papa: We cannot say these devotees are not sincere in their sadhana. If they are not sincere, they may not be able to continue for such a long time; they would do their sadhana for a couple of hours and then give it up. That is not the case. They struggle for years and die without attaining anything.

S: Can we say they die without attaining anything?

Papa: They may succeed in their next life. But that is not what is wanted by them. Why does He not come to them in this life itself?

S: What prevents Him?

Papa: Whatever prevents Him is also caused by Him, is it not? Why 'caused by Him,' it is He Himself.

S: Then the seeker is also He; who prevents is also He; the sought is also He.

Papa: That is the thing. When everything is He, who is seeking and who is sought? He Himself is weeping and wailing to attain Himself, and also putting some obstructions on His own way. He laughs at us and says, 'On whom am I to shower mercy when I am everything? The whole thing is my own game. Everything is "I". How foolish are you to think that I am mercilessly keeping the aspirant waiting and so forth.' But Ramdas tells Him, 'You alone are accusing yourself that you are not merciful to some of the aspirants'. (Papa laughs).

S: I thought the game was complete before Papa said the last sentence. Papa took a step further to complete His game so nicely.

Papa: That is the only solution for all problems.