← The Gospel of Swami RamdasHis talks, as recorded by Swami Satchidananda

1953-09-19

Chapter 20

Anandashram, September 19, 1953

172. A Devotee's Criticism

7 a.m. Papa was sitting near the radio in the bhajan-hall. Narottamdas of Bombay, who had come the previous day, was sitting in front. Bangalore Iyenger friend was sitting by his side. When S went there, it looked as if some talk was going on between Papa and that Iyengar friend. Papa was saying: "Ramdas cannot have you here in the ashram. You may go home and do sadhana."

Iyengar: What is the alternative that you suggest to me?

Papa: You may go anywhere you like. We have nothing to do with people of your type and habits. We cannot permit you to stay here, and against our will you cannot stay even for a minute here.

After some time, Papa was standing in his room waiting to go for his bath. Iyengar again came and prostrated before Papa.

Papa: What is this? How many times do you prostrate? Too many prostrations are no good. Especially for you, it won't be good. You will be a nuisance here if you go on prostrating every five minutes. You many prostrate after bhajan. That will do.

8.30 a.m. Narottamdas came, and sat before Papa with a copy of ‘Darshan’ a Gujarati magazine, as Papa wanted him to read out to him a few articles from it. Narottamdas started reading. He completed two articles reading paragraphs here and there, as that was all what Papa wanted to know. Then he came to another article written by Maganlal L Raichura, one of the oldest devotees of Papa in Saurashtra. It began in this strain:

'Many people go to saints and worship them in many ways. The rich people, with whom the saints prefer to stay, serve them as they can, but they should also give a chance to the poor devotees to serve them. When we go to see saints, we spend a lot of money on garlands and fruits and also on photographs and cinema films. If all these sums were given to the poor suffering people, would it not be better service of the Lord in that form, so on and so forth.'

Papa: Ramdas can understand how and where he hits. Now he has some urgent correspondence to attend to.

David Haggot (the Englishman): May I also come in and join the company?

Papa: No. The company is being dissolved. Ramdas is going to attend to some urgent correspondence.

Then Papa and S were left alone to attend to their work.

173. Mataji's answer

Close on 1 p.m. Mataji was having lunch in the dining-hall. Seated opposite to her were MR Ramaswami, Subbaram, S and others. When Mataji was about to rise, S asked, "Mataji, did Papa tell you about Maganlal and his article in the ‘Darshan’?"

Mataji: Yes, Papa explained it during his bath. It had been working in my mind even before I sat for lunch. But I didn't like to talk about it. Now you have broached the topic. (Pause for a few seconds) He has written what a saint is said to have remarked once. But they cannot be accepted as always true. Let us look at the advantages:

The devotees bring a lot of garlands for the saints. They purchase them from poor people who make their living by selling garlands. Is it not a service to them also?

Fruits are also bought in plenty from poor people who sell them. The money goes only to the poor.

As for photographs and cine film. Let us take the case of Papa. In future, what joy it will give to one who has not seen Papa, to see his photo! How happy we all will be to see him in the cine film moving about or doing various things! Even now when people see the films of saints like Jnaneshwar, Tukaram and others, many shed tears – they are so much moved. Why talk about others? I myself shed tears profusely. So, for people who see Papa's picture, especially after some years, it will be a source of great inspiration.

So we cannot ignore this aspect. By writing that way, our Maganlal is doing a great injustice to all devotees. Once published, it cannot be taken back, and once the minds of devotees are disturbed, they cannot be pacified. Even if we lose lakhs of rupees or sovereigns they can be replaced; but not this type of loss.

Another fact is, it would have been well if the thousands spent on ashrams be utilised for building houses for the poor people who have no suitable houses to live in. They are residing, as we have seen, in hovels made of old broken tin sheets, or low thatched huts with leaf-mat enclosures. A neat, decent hut would not cost more than Rs.500.

Why should I find fault with others? See what we have been doing. We cannot say that we are models for others. With the money we were getting, we ought to have constructed houses for the poor people here and wherever we went. Then the encumbrance of the ashram would not have come into being. Now, those who have been giving are tired of giving, and we are tired of receiving, and those who have been making use of that money are also tired of that. Everybody is tired.

Papa is really unmindful of all these things. Not that he does not know and only I know, but he does not mind what is happening. You can see Papa is unmindful of many things but I am not. I want everything done properly at the proper place and time. Even in wearing clothes, Papa was careless and I was very particular. He used to wear only one cloth over his body. Perspiration and coarseness of the Khaddar cloth bruised his tender skin. You know how tender Papa's skin is. It is like that of a child. When I asked him to have two pieces of thin cloth, he refused. Then I told him, 'Why should you not have thin cloth? Why should you say you will do this or you will not do that? You have been wearing thick cloth all these years; why not change now? What is the harm and why do you will wear only Khaddar? Why not foreign cloth also? Why should you put yourself under limitations? Papa never agreed in those days. Later on he somehow took to using thinner cloth.

We have been sitting very long. Our hands are all dried up. Let us go and wash our hands.

All got up.

Mataji (continued): It must be understood that everybody has his own way of worship. It is like this. Suppose there are a few children in a house. Mother sees to the dressing, feeding and so on of these children. But is she feeding them all with the same food and giving them the same dress? Let alone the fact that even one type of food or dress given to one child one day may not agree with the same child another day. We were six children in our house. Mother was very sickly. The eldest, Datta (you know him), would go to her and say, 'I want this curry to be prepared immediately. Otherwise I won't eat'. Mother, though weak, would prepare the needed curry for her son. When I came from Bombay and saw these things, I used to take him to task. Instead of serving mother, why should he give her so much trouble? So they did not like me and never wished that I should be with them. In the same way, Papa is looking after us all, his children, and allowing us to progress in whatever line that suits us, without making any drastic or forcible changes. Even when children are playing, if the mother asks them to play as she likes, they won't be happy. Mother has to allow the children to play their own games, at the same time watching that they do not hurt themselves.

Papa is making each one of us follow his or her own way of worship and devotion. But we are not yet fortunate enough to make the best use of his teachings.

Why talk about people in distant places? We see Ramkishor being loved by Papa very much, and we feel the boy is very lucky. You know how his mother feels about it. She says, Papa is spoiling him, not directing him properly, as he does in the case of other children. Look at the way things happen very near us!

S: So, finally we stop at that. (All laugh).

Mataji: As the saying in Konkani goes, 'You allow a pumpkin to rot at your own feet, but find fault with one under whose feet a mustard grain rots'.

Mataji then went inside the kitchen to attend to some work, and others left for their rooms.

September 21, 1953

174. Life in Everything

10 a.m. Papa's room.

S (to Papa): Papa had no oil massage for many days now. Shall we start it today?

Papa: Ramdas feels we can start it today. You may arrange for it.

Then Papa was called to the garden where the carpenter and Keshav were waiting for some suggestion from him regarding the construction of some seats in the garden. Papa went there and in a few minutes returned to his room. Immediately he called out to Keshav through the window and said, "That tree on the other side should be cut now. It has no place near the garden."

After a few minutes, turning to S, Papa said, "Ramdas told him to cut that tree. Will he cut the good Parijata tree instead of that jungle tree?"

Then Papa called Keshav again and explained to him clearly the particular tree he had to cut. He then sat on his cot, ready for the massage.

Papa: Ramdas has passed death sentence on that poor tree. It must have already known about it, poor thing! They must have a subtle sense to understand things. Ramdas feels sorry for it. In olden days it was impossible for Ramdas to give even the slightest injury to any plant. Even now he cannot see anybody unnecessarily destroying plants.

Let alone plants, he could not even cut a stone in those days. When they were struck or cut, Ramdas used to feel the pain of the stroke or cut on his body.

S: Even the so-called inanimate things?

Papa: Yes. Ramdas finds there is nothing inanimate. There is life in everything.

S: If such intense feeling is there, how can one pull on in the world? One will not be able to do anything.

Papa: That is a necessary stage, but one has to go beyond it.

Sarva Dharmaan Parityajya Maamekam Saranam Vraja Aham twa sarva paapebhyo Mokshayishyaami maa suchah

– take shelter there. There is no other alternative.

S: God has made such a provision.

Papa: Yes, many do horrible things and quote this sloka. Mere quoting and real living are different.

175. Mischievous Sri Krishna

10 p.m. There was only a dim light in Papa's room. Papa was lying on the cot. Subbaram was fanning. Gopal, CR Rao, and Shivashanker were near the cot. Ramkishor was sleeping a few yards away. Parvatibai was fanning Ramkishor. Papa was lying on his right side, and S and Motiben were massaging him, one on each side. When he turned to his left he felt his stomach heavy. Then he laughed and said, "Why has Ram created this stomach? It would have been so nice to go on without the stomach."

S: What does Ram say?

Papa: He is quiet like a tomb, or it would be better to say, like a stuffed bird.

Papa asked Parvatibai: Why has God created this stomach?

Parvatibai: As if you don't know.

S: Papa, let her ask her Krishna and get a reply.

Papa (to Parvatibai): S says that you should ask your Krishna and tell us.

Parvatibai (laughing): Stomach is there so that we may work. Without the stomach we shall not have to work for anything.

Papa: Why? We must work to have a good building to live in, fine motor cars to go about and so on. You ask your Krishna. Let us hear what He says.

Parvatibai: How can He answer what you cannot? And He is afraid to talk when you are here. Because you put so many cross questions to Him.

Papa: Why should He be afraid? Is Ramdas a ferocious creature?

Parvatibai: All other times He is talking to me and doing a lot of mischief also. When I go to the kitchen to pick stones from rice, He is there to disturb me.

Papa: Lock Him up somewhere in a room and leave something there for Him to eat. What is the tiffin for tomorrow?

Motiben: Rice-rulam.

Papa: Put some of the rice-rulam in His mouth and then lock Him up.

Parvatibai: Even when I get up at 3 o'clock in the morning, there He is ready to do a lot of mischief.

Papa: Does He not sleep?

Parvatibai: He says, if He sleeps, the whole universe will sleep.

Papa: Ram is also getting mischievous nowadays. He does not give us rain in time. He is causing the paddy crop to go dry. He was not like that before. Has He become bad by contact with your Krishna? Is it sanga-dosha?

Parvatibai: May be; Krishna is so mischievous.

Just then Mataji came in and saw Papa and all others laughing. She asked what the matter was. Papa replied that they were talking about Krishna's doings. Mataji also laughed.

Mataji: Now, what are the vegetables to be cooked for you tomorrow?

Papa: We have received the vegetable parcel from Bangalore. Have we not?

Mataji: Was it not shown to Papa?

Papa: Yes. There are lots of vegetables now.

He then gave some suggestions for the next day's preparations.

Papa: Now Ramdas must go to sleep. It is past ten.

Then all others departed one by one, leaving Papa, Mataji, Motiben and Ramkishor in the room.