← The Gospel of Swami RamdasHis talks, as recorded by Swami Satchidananda

1953-10-27

Chapter 27

Anandashram, October 27, 1953

230. The secret of Papa's story-telling

A parcel was received the previous day containing a reel of cinema film taken on the occasion of the opening of Ramdas Ashram at Bhavnagar. The opening ceremony was performed by Papa. The film was sent by Anantrai Kamdar, son of Gunvantrai Kamdar.

8.30 p.m. Papa got busy with the projector and started showing the films to a number of ashramites and visitors gathered in the bhajan-hall, Papa himself operating. The show went off all right though the projector gave a bit of trouble at the end, which Papa set right soon. After the whole show was over and after rewinding the films, Papa said, "This old horse (looking at the projector) has run all right." Patting the projector, he said, "Thank you, thank you."

In a few minutes Papa was in bed, and S was massaging his back.

Papa: It is not good to go on tours leaving all the ashramites behind.

S: What else are we to do?

Papa: Nothing. Ram's will be done! Now we have a very peaceful time in the ashram. But while on tour, we shall have so many programmes and we will be busy knocking about the whole day from one engagement to another.

S: What a contrast between this peaceful life here and the life on tour, so full of hectic activity!

Papa: There is a lot of fun and joy there too.

S: So it is all right. We can spend six months here and six months on tour.

Papa: Ramdas is wanted everywhere. He has become a slightly big fellow, hasn't he? He can see it from the film we saw now.

S: Papa knew that only after seeing the film!

Papa: Ramdas could see it clearly in the film.

S: During sadhana days, or even earlier, did Papa have any inkling of such a life?

Papa: No, never. During sadhana days or earlier he never thought of such a life. He did not wish for or desire anything.

S: Papa must have had some wish about how his life should be moulded.

Papa: He wished to attain the supreme peace within and the vision of God everywhere.

S: Did he not think of the external at all?

Papa: Yes, he wanted to have His vision everywhere.

S: I mean Papa's external life.

Papa: No, no thought of that. He never believed in guiding or teaching people. Even now he does not believe in it. He is not a lecturer and he cannot pose to be one. Is he posing or pretending to be a lecturer? Perhaps he might be doing so.

S: Even if there is pretension, who is actually at it?

Papa: Ram does it. He is the best pretender. Ramdas does not think that he can guide people by lecturing to them. Sometimes he is forced to talk. But he is sure that if he cracks a joke and they are made to laugh, they will be more benefited than by hearing his lecture for an hour. Ramdas’ command of language is not so good. He can tell some stories and make others laugh. Of course, if he had better expression the stories would also have been more interesting.

S: It is a wonder how Papa gets at these stories to narrate in the proper context.

Papa: It is not because of Ramdas’ cleverness that he is able to tell the stories. Once somebody asked Sri Ramakrishna how he could talk for hours together narrating story after story. It seems he replied that when paddy is being measured, there is one who is actually measuring, one behind him ready to fill the measure, and still another behind him pushing the paddy from the big heap. So he was only like the one who was actually measuring, his supply being reimbursed without break by the Mother behind. So also Ramdas is getting the supplies from the Mother within. She reels off to Ramdas one story after another at the right time.

S: How did Papa learn all these stories, by reading or hearing?

Papa: Both.

October 30, 1953

231. Papa and Mataji, a witty exchange

Papa was having oil massage in his room. Mataji entered the room.

Papa: Have you got the clothes ready for Ramdas’ bath?

Mataji: I am getting them ready. Will you have thin shirt or thick shirt?

Papa: Who knows?

Mataji: What kind of answer is this? In which school did you learn to answer like this?

Papa (laughing): What else can Ramdas say? If he says he wants thick shirt and afterwards it is warm, he will have to change it. If he puts on thin shirt and if it is cool, he will have to change it. Then how can he say what he exactly wants? Ramdas has learnt from experience that he should not commit himself by saying that he wants this or that. The safest thing he has found is to leave it to you.

Mataji: Will you then have a thin shirt?

Papa: Yes, if you think so.

Both laughed and Mataji went to arrange for the bath.

232. Getting ready for the tour

9.30 p.m. Papa was to start on a tour the next day, with Mataji and S by the Mail leaving at 10.30 a.m. Mataji was busy arranging, and packing things to be taken for the tour. They were all spread out in the room in the main ashram. A number of children were running about in the bhajan-hall making a lot of noise and some of the ashramites were talking to Papa.

Mataji: Papa, unless you go to bed I cannot do any packing work.

Papa: You may carry on.

Mataji: Those sitting here and the children playing about will go away only when you go to bed.

Papa: All right. Then Ramdas is going to bed. You may switch off the lights of the ashram hall.

Papa went to his room and all left one by one for their rooms. Mataji, S and couple of other sat inside the room packing. In about half an hour, Papa was seen standing at the doorway in the room, looking at the packing that was going on.

Mataji: Why, are you not asleep yet?

Papa: Just came to see how are getting on with packing. Why are you taking so many things? Remember, if you take too many things we will have to pay a huge amount towards air freight. Reduce the items as much as possible.

Mataji: Papa, I am not taking anything unnecessary. These vessels, you may say, are not required, but in Sholapur they will be necessary, and it will be difficult to manage without them. Anyhow, I shall leave two of these behind.

Papa then went to bed. A little later Motiben came saying that Papa wanted a peppermint.

S: We have already packed the lozenges-tin inside the hold-all. Should we open it now?

Mataji (to S): You go and ask Papa if you should open the hold-all and take out that tin.

S (in Papa's room): Papa, I am sorry I packed the lozenges-tin in the hold-all.

Papa: Doesn't matter. Motiben is bringing something else.

Motiben came and gave a piece of sugar candy, and Papa went to bed again.

S (to Mataji): Motiben gave a piece of sugar candy to Papa.

Mataji: It has become so common. Whenever we have packed something, Papa asks for it. He has not been taking lozenges for the last so many days. So we thought he would not need it. See, Papa asked for it now.

October 31, 1953

233. The rock is now soft

Papa had been busy, right from morning, attending to things regarding the tour. The party was to leave only at 9.30 a.m. But Papa was ready at 8.30 with a small bag containing his pen, purse, a small knife, a diary and sundries.

S: Papa is ready to start!

Papa: Yes, Ramdas is ready with his bag. That is all he carries!

He then walked towards the asan.

Papa: Ramdas’ legs are tired. He must sit down.

S: Papa has been on his legs right from morning.

Papa (to the large number of devotees present in the hall): In the early days of his wanderings he used to go about only with two pieces of cloth and a small bag like this, even smaller than this. Now see, what paraphernalia follows him!

Then Papa was silent for a few minutes. He appeared to be thinking of something. "Ah", he said.

S: What is that, Papa?

Papa (Smiling): Ramdas feels a bit agitated. Going on tour leaving these people behind moves his heart. Till lately this sort of agitation was not there. Now he feels it, which he should not.

S: Is it that he should not feel so?

Papa: Some years back he was as hard as a rock, and he was proud of it. Now the rock has become so soft that it melts.

Mataji was passing by the side of Papa, while she was going to the room.

234. Devotees grief-stricken at Papa's departure

Papa (to Mataji): Now Ramdas feels agitated about leaving these people behind and going away. He was not like that before, and was proud to be as hard as a rock.

Mataji: That is on account of the breeze that is flowing to you from us. Because of our company you are becoming soft and melting as we are.

At 9.00 a.m. Papa and others went for meal. By the time Papa returned, the bhajan-hall was full of people, almost all with tears in their eyes. Before Papa left the dining-hall, Balamma, who had been in the ashram for over sixteen years and who would be in charge of the kitchen and sundry affairs in the absence of Mataji, stood before him with folded hands, tears streaming down her cheeks. A few words came out of her choked throat in the shape of an appeal to Papa: "Papa, do not forget us, do not forget us."

Papa assured her that he would not.

Ramkishor was agitated more than anybody else. He was not showing his feelings, but one could see he was suppressing them. He was sticking to Papa, sitting by his side or walking with him. He went on asking a number of questions, not minding whether others were talking to Papa or not, and Papa had to reply to them. If Papa was speaking to anyone else ignoring his question he would persistently repeat his question till Papa turned to him and gave the answer.

Papa had asked him not to weep or make a show while the party was leaving. So he wanted to control himself. But sometimes he found it difficult to do so. While taking coffee in Papa's room in the morning, he behaved like a rude boy, throwing the plates here and there, and tears came out of his eyes. When Mataji asked him not to weep, he replied that his mother (Motiben) who was sitting in front of him started weeping first, so he also wept. He asked his mother not to weep lest he should follow suit.

When leaving, there was a stir. Those who were controlling themselves till then burst out. Of course, it was nothing compared to the scene when Papa and Mataji were leaving Ashram on a tour in 1949.

Papa had come out and was waiting near the cement seats. The post had just arrived and he was opening the letters in great hurry. The post ought to have come the previous evening, but the mail was late. So a messenger was sent specially in the morning to bring it.

When Papa opened one letter from Ratilal M Dave, Katrasgarh, he found it contained two cheques, but one cheque was torn to two pieces apparently by him while opening the cover in a hurry.

Papa (to S): Oh, Ramdas tore this cheque in his hurry while opening the cover. Will the bank cash it?

S: They may cash it, if the two pieces are pasted together.

Papa: Otherwise you will have to write to Ratilal. He will, of course, send another cheque. But there will be delay, especially when money is wanted here very badly.

Balaji (who is to be in charge of the ashram): I shall send it to the bank properly pasted and they may cash it without difficulty.

Papa handed over the whole correspondence to Balaji with necessary instructions.

The party got into the taxi and left. A few ashramites also followed. Many devotees had gone to the railway station in advance on foot. Besides, a few friends and devotees were already waiting at the railway station. The station master was kind enough to provide two chairs. Papa sat on one, but Mataji kept standing. Ramkishor sat on the other chair. In a few minutes the train arrived and the party (Papa, Mataji, and S) got into the through-Bangalore compartment, already reserved. A group was still on the platform, unhappy at the separation. There was none without tears in his or her eyes. With heavy hearts they looked intently at Papa and Mataji. The train started. Subbaram proposed jai jai kar to Papa and Mataji and the group was warm in its response.

As the train moved Papa could see them only from a distance, waving handkerchiefs. Papa was waving in return.

235. Happenings in the train

Before the train gained speed, three officers of the railway jumped into the compartment. They introduced themselves – one as the guard and the other two as TTI's (travelling ticket-checking inspectors).

TTI: Swamiji, we jumped in, wishing to spend at least a few minutes in the holy atmosphere of your presence. We cannot get it always, so we snatched this opportunity to have a few minutes with you.

Papa: That is very good. Come on. Sit here. Don't be standing.

TTI: Swamiji, I read your article in the ‘Sunday Times’. Even in the latest issue there is an advertisement of your books. I was reading them and here I am with you. Swamiji, it reminds me how you were travelling years ago without tickets and how, when some TTI asked you to get down, you took it to be Ram's will that you should get down there. Now we will not ask you to get down. Our hearts have changed now.

S: But he does not travel without a ticket nowadays.

TTI: Even if he goes without a ticket, we will not ask him to get down. Swamiji, are yogasanas necessary for spiritual advancement?

Papa: Yogasanas do help. They will not take one to the ultimate goal, but will enable one to keep one's body fit for regular sadhana.

TTI: For kundalini yoga, are asanas necessary?

Papa: Of course, for yoga practices one must keep the body fit. One must be able to sit steady; and practice of asanas is necessary.

Guard: For meditation, the best is sukhasan. Is it not, Swamiji?

Papa: Of course, sukhasan is good and simple.

The train now reached Nileshwar station and they took leave of Papa to attend to their work.

Papa, Mataji and S were the only occupants in the compartment. At Cannanore, Joshiji and his friends were on the platform. Getting inside the compartment they garlanded Papa and Mataji. Joshiji had brought his daughter also with him. He told Papa that her marriage was fixed to take place at Rajkot on the 9th of December, and as Papa would be at Bhavnagar at that time, he asked if Papa would kindly visit Rajkot and bless the couple. With some persuasion, Papa agreed. Then Papa asked Mataji if he should agree to go to Rajkot for the marriage. He also mentioned that there was air service and it would take only half an hour to reach there from Bhavnagar.

Mataji: As you decide.

So Joshiji was happy.

At Calicut, R Keshav Rao, SN Nath, R Viswanathan and a number of other devotees came for Papa's darshan with a lot of eatables, milk, coffee and tea. They were extremely happy that they could have Papa's darshan then, as Papa was travelling by train instead of by plane direct to Bangalore, as was previously planned. The change was due to uncertain weather conditions.

At Shoranur, a large number of devotees from Trichur had come – VK Rama Menon, Devarajan, Swami Krishnananda, Kalakanta Menon, PV Subramania Iyer and others.

Vishalakshi, the ashram girl who was married in May last to PV Subramania Iyer's son, was very anxious to meet Papa. She had also come with the party. She was overjoyed to meet Papa and Mataji. After garlanding and prostrating before them, she sat by Mataji's side and was laughing like a child. Other devotees had crowded the compartment, prostrating one by one to Papa and giving the various presents and eatables they had brought.

Mataji: Vishalakshi has improved in her health. She gets love from you all. When she was in the ashram she was getting only scoldings from me. (Vishalakshi starts sobbing).

Devarajan's wife was standing in front of Papa. Devarajan, who was standing on the right of Papa, knelt down and, with folded hands and eyes full of tears, prayed: "Papa, I am prostrating before this mother (his wife). Give me strength to observe perfect brahmacharya." He then prostrated before her and got up.

The train whistled. All the devotees alighted except PV Subramania Iyer, Devarajan, Vishalakshi and her husband.

Papa (to Vishalakshi): It is time to get down.

Vishalakshi: No, Papa, I am not getting down.

Papa: Ah, what?

S: They are coming up to the next station, Papa.

They got down at the next station. Vishalakshi was weeping. Mataji and Papa encouraged her to go cheerfully.

Olavakkot and Podanur also were busy stations where a large number of devotees got in. At both these stations the devotees had brought plenty of food offerings to Papa. Papa had his evening meal after the train left Podanur. All the packets were opened for him to see, and he took a pinch from each and also a cup of milk. Then Mataji and S had their meal. A number of oranges were lying on the seat. Papa took one, peeled it, and started eating without dentures. S brought his set. Papa put them on and ate another orange, and then yet another.

Mataji: Papa, we could have given you the oranges washed and properly peeled. You are taking them without being washed.

Papa laughed like a child, his feet one after the other stamping the floor. Mataji was very particular to see that fruits were well washed and cleaned before they were given to Papa. So she was not happy to see Papa eating them without being washed. Papa did not mind it.

At Erode, a fat Sindhi gentleman peeped into the compartment from the platform. Seeing Papa, he enquired of S if that was Swami Ramdas Maharaj from Mangalore. Getting confirmation, he disappeared from there and came back, in five minutes, accompanied by another friend of his with some plantains. He introduced himself to Papa as having heard of him through his wife who had attended Papa's satsang at Premkutir in Bombay. She had, it seemed, written to him that he should not fail to meet Papa. So when he heard that Papa was travelling by that train he came to have his darshan.

Papa talked with the Sindhi friends for a few minutes and they took leave of Papa. Just after they had left, Papa said, "Ramdas ought to have given some plantains to them." He then went near the door and peeped out to see if they could be called. They were not to be seen. Again he said, "Ramdas ought to have given them. Now they have gone."

Mysteriously, in two or three minutes, the Sindhi friend entered the compartment, asking where Papa would be staying in Bombay. Papa was so happy to see him again.

Papa: Oh, you have come. Ramdas was very sorry he did not give you some fruits before you left. He tried to call you back, but by that time you had gone. How gracious of you! You yourself came back to receive the fruits!

Papa then gave him a few plantains as prasad, and he left after getting the necessary information.