← The Gospel of Swami RamdasHis talks, as recorded by Swami Satchidananda

1953-09-03

Chapter 17

Anandashram, September 3, 1953

151. Bring out all sides of a saint's life

It was close to 1 p.m. Mataji was sitting for lunch when S and Subbaram entered the dining-hall a few minutes later than usual. MR Ramaswami had not yet had his bath.

Mataji (to S): I came today somewhat earlier than usual. Lingappa started serving, but I asked him to wait for some time. Where is Ramaswami?

S: He went for bath only at 12.30 when the bell rang.

Subbaram: S also went for bath only then, but he finished his bath soon.

Mataji: What is the matter today?

Subbaram: They were both writing a poem on Mataji. They were so much immersed in it that they forgot all about bath and mealtime.

Mataji wished to say something, but restrained herself and was silent for a few minutes. Just then Ramaswami also came and took his seat near S opposite to Mataji.

Mataji: When you all write – I do not mean you alone – you touch only upon the bright side of persons and things, entirely ignoring the dark side. Both sides must be brought out, so that those who read what is written may not be misled. Suppose I have a boil on my hand. I know, all of you know, and the doctor also knows, I have pain on account of the boil. But if you write that I have a boil and I feel no pain at all, it is not right. It is sure to create a wrong impression and mislead aspirants who are apt to follow everything in the external life of saints. They will strive to reach a state when they too will feel no pain. If one reads that a saint lived without food, or without using some other necessary things, he too will try to live in the same way. And if he practises what all he had read about the external life of that saint, and finds he is not able to live accordingly and come up to that ideal of tapasysa, real or imagined, he will be disappointed. In this effort he will be dragging his mind constantly to the body instead of his being free to meditate on higher things – upon God. Instead of taking the positive course he will be taking the negative course.

"During my sadhana days, I used in the early stages to worry much about my sleep. I had heard that Papa had gone without sleep night after night. But I could not reduce my sleep, even by a few hours. One day Papa came to know of it and told me: ‘Why should you go on worrying about your sleep? Sleep when you feel sleepy. Sit up and meditate when you are inclined to do so. You must not worry so much about matters relating to the body. You must fix your mind on higher things, facing always the sun and turning your back on darkness. By worrying about your sleep and other weaknesses, you are only meditating on sleep and darkness, and will have no time to think of light.’ From then on, I used to sleep as long as I wanted and never bothered about it."

152. What distinguishes a Saint's anger

Mataji continued: "When Papa reads out to us from various books now, I pay attention to them as a sadhaka would. Only, when I hear something against women, I flare up. Even when I do not show out my anger, I feel angry within. I cannot tolerate anybody condemning women as women. If they wish to mention some human weaknesses why should they always attribute them only to women? Why can't they speak or write about human beings in general? Why discriminate against women?

"Let me not digress. I was talking about your writing. If, in what you write about me, you say I have no anger at all it will not be correct or fair. A sadhaka reading it would try to become absolutely free from anger and feel depressed if he fails. Of course, one should be free from anger towards others. That is not denied. One can be angry, if at all, only with oneself; for one's own failings. But one should not fix one's mind on the negative side. One must turn the mind to the positive side. We must also understand saints properly. There is a great difference between a saint's anger and the anger of ordinary people. A saint knows that when he is angry with others, he is angry with himself, because he is one with others. There is no 'other' for him. His anger does not harm him. Those who write about saints must make the distinction clear and not mislead people by saying that saints are never angry."

S: In what we have written, there is no exaggeration. We have only stated what we see here.

Mataji: Have you mentioned that I get angry sometimes?

S: Yes, we have brought out your anger also.

Mataji now laughed and said, "That is right." Resuming the talk, she said:-

"After all, my anger is like this. You know a mother gets angry with the child to correct the child. Is there any bitter impression left in the mother's heart or in the child's heart afterwards? Husband and wife have petty quarrels. Do they mind, do they brood over them? Of course, sometimes, there are exceptional cases. If I find something seriously wrong with a person, I do get angry with that person. It is like a child getting angry with its mother. Suppose a mother tells the child not to tell a lie. But when the child finds the mother herself telling a lie, it then takes the mother to task saying, "You ask me not to tell lies, but why do you yourself tell lies?" The child has no bitterness in its mind. So the mother also learns from the child, as the child learns from the mother. You are writing your impressions about me or Papa, so that the devotees who are away may be benefited by them. So you must bring out both the bright and dark sides and not mislead readers by exaggerations or one-sided reports."

153. Mataji for a Simple Life, Still Ashram Expanded

By that time all had finished their meal. They got up and washed their hands. Mataji, who had still something in her mind, addressing S said. "I never wanted the activities here to expand like this. My idea was that we must give away to the poor and needy whatever we got, keeping just enough only for our simple living. If there was nothing for us to eat, we could go out for bhiksha and be satisfied with whatever we got. We must here have only as much responsibility as we have when we go out on tour and stay at the various places we visit. A small hut to live in would suffice, with no more than absolutely necessary things. I was for such a simple life from the very beginning. But the work here went on expanding in spite of my wishes. Now, what will others do who try to follow our example?"

S: If one becomes a sannyasi, his first idea probably is to build an ashram.

Mataji: That is exactly the thing we wanted to avoid. Now things here have expanded so much. I feel sometimes that, perhaps, this is all due to the desires I might have had in my previous births.

MR Ramaswami: Did you wish that there should be no expansion?

Mataji: Yes.

MRR: Why do you take upon yourself the responsibility for the expansion of the ashram and think that it was all because of your desires in previous births? Why not consider it as God's will? God willed that such expansion should take place and so it has come about.

Mataji: Is not what I am speaking now also due to God's will?

MRR: But you refer to your desires in previous births, and so on.

Mataji: Yes, those desires too I then had because of God's will. This expansion has also come about because of God's will, and I am now talking to you also because of God's will.

154. Good Management of Existing Institutions needed

Continuing, Mataji said, "I do not mean that I am opposed to the continuance of this ashram or other religious institutions like temples, mutts, and so forth. Once they have been started, I am in favour of continuing their work in the right way. But I am not in favour of anybody starting new institutions of this sort. Let them manage well those which have been started already. What is the good of adding to their number by starting new ones, while the old institutions are ill-managed or neglected? In the Datta Mandir at Bhatkal there used to be celebrations of the Datta Jayanti festival for seven days. All the twenty-four hours of the day pooja, kirtan, bhajan, feeding the poor and other functions were going on. But now the original enthusiasm for conducting the festival has waned. Such religious functions and festivals should be conducted, if at all, with joy and enthusiasm. What is the use of celebrating anything half-heartedly?"

September 4, 1953

155. Two Destitute Boys

Ganesh and Kishore aged about eight and eleven years respectively were admitted in the ashram elementary school and boarding home the previous year. When the school was closed and all the children were sent home, Mataji graciously took those two boys into the ashram, as they were destitute. Since April last, these two boys had been living in the ashram receiving all love and care from Mataji. They were very happy and jolly. But as they were going without education, with a view to admitting them in some charitable institution with facilities for their education, Papa wrote to Sri Sraddhanand Ashram in Mangalore and got a reply from Swami Sadananada promising that he would do his best to have the boys admitted. He also enclosed two forms to be filled in and returned to him for placing before his committee. So Papa was collecting the necessary information about the two boys to fill in the application forms as desired by the Sraddhanand Ashram.

Ganesh was originally admitted in the Ashram school at the request of his mother, who did not want to keep him. She said that his father was not alive. But the boy himself said that his father was in Kanhangad, working as a driver! So there was some confusion.

Kishore had been brought to the Ashram by his father, a wandering sadhu. He was in favour of Kishore being looked after in the ashram or sent to any place where he could continue his studies. Kishore's father would come to the ashram once in a while for a short stay. He had been there the last three or four days.

156. Satyakama Jabali

It was past 8 o'clock in the morning. Papa was sitting near the radio listening to the news. MR Ramaswami was sitting in front of Papa. The sadhu (Kishore's father) came and bowed down before Papa.

Sadhu: Mataji asked me to come here and see you.

Papa (switching off the radio): We want to admit your son in the Sraddhanand Ashram in Mangalore. So we want to know his date of birth.

Then the sadhu gave the month but he was not sure of the year he was born. However, he mentioned some name in Tamil. Papa, on referring to the almanac, found there was no such year mentioned anywhere in it. Then the sadhu said, "You may put any year. It does not matter." Papa had a hearty laugh over the sadhu's remark about the year, and said, "If he did not know, he could have said so. Why should he give incorrect information? These people do not hesitate to tell lies at all." He again laughed continuously for about two minutes, in which MR Ramaswami also joined heartily.

MRR: There is an instance mentioned in the ‘Chhandogya Upanishad’. A boy went to a Gurukula, which was intended only for brahmin boys. The rishi there enquired about his parentage, etc. He gave the name of his mother but could not say anything about his father or caste. The rishi sent him back to get all the necessary information from his mother. The boy went and asked his mother. The mother in reply said, 'Son, I cannot exactly say who your father is. I was the mistress of many a young man and I do not know of whom you were born.’ The boy went back to the rishi and told him exactly what he heard from his mother. The rishi was supremely happy to hear such a frank statement from a boy about his parentage, and remarked: 'The fact that you have made a frank statement about your parentage, instead of concealing it for fear of being despised by the world, proves that you are born to a brahmin. I have no more doubt about it. From now your name will be 'Satyakama Jabali'."

Papa: Are there such stories in the Upanishads also?

In the evening Papa was standing near the septic tank, which had been completely demolished and was being reconstructed. He wanted S to bring the sketch of the tank and tape. S brought and sat beside Papa, watching the construction. The boy Ganesh also came and stood near Papa.

S: Papa, did Keshav bring any information about Ganesh's parents?

Papa: No, his mother is not here. She is in Kasaragod.

S: What about his father? It seem he is Kanhangad.

Papa: Even if he is there, he won't say anything, because he never married the boy's mother.

(Papa and S laugh).

S: These are the most unwanted children then. Their parents never wished them to be born, and somebody takes care of them too.

Papa: There may be any number of children like this. Who takes care of all of them? God alone was responsible for their birth; was He not? Why did He bring about the union of the man and woman? He brought about the union and the child was born. So God is responsible. He is behind everything and it is His responsibility to look after the children. Whose else is it? There is no need to go into the question whether the man and woman were married. Whatever that might be, when they united, the child was born. God does not see whether they were married or not. The so-called marriages, registration and homas in the vedic way are all man-made conventions. Man has made them only for the upkeep and solidarity of the society he himself has set up. In God's eyes there are no such things as our conventional marriages, betrothals and so on. What about the animals? Do they get married? We have cows and bulls here. They grow up, and at the proper age they unite and calves are born; we take their milk all right, and it is very sweet. We don't give it up because it is from an unmarried cow. Do we?

Both had a good laugh.

S: Because of these complications, this boy will have no attachment to his parents, whoever they are.

Papa: What of that? He will get attached to somebody else. Attachment is there all the same.

When we ponder over Papa's above remarks about the so-called legitimate and illegitimate children, we see that the distinctions exist only when we look at them from a lower plane of existence. But from Papa's standpoint he saw no such distinctions anywhere, and he maintained that attitude quite naturally all through and under all circumstances and conditions.

September 7, 1953

157. God gives and God takes away – enjoy all situations

The new room for Papa's occupation was getting ready. There was some unforeseen delay in the completion of the bathroom. The commode and its fittings did not work properly. No plumber was available. Papa was hurrying things up so that the room could be occupied on the 12th, Vinayaka Chaturthi day.

8.30 a.m. Papa and Swami Aghorananda were standing in the bhajan-hall. S came and joined them after breakfast.

Papa (to S): Ramdas is not going to dictate any letters today. He is bent upon getting the flush-tank set right. Let us go there."

He then went to the new bathroom where the fittings were placed. Swami Aghorananda was with him, and S followed a few minutes later. Papa was examining some of the parts, keeping a big cylinder-like thing in his hand.

Papa: Ramdas finds great joy in fitting things himself. He makes mistakes, corrects and again goes wrong, but finally he is successful. So we have had a lot of fun with the commode and the bathroom.

Swami Aghorananda: But a lot of money is spent unnecessarily!

Papa: Of course a lot of money is spent. But who gets all the money and who gives the money? It is God giving money through His various forms and God Himself taking it away in various other forms. He finds money for Himself to take.

S: So let us have only the joy of it.

Papa: We must have all the joy. Ramdas enjoys everything; whatever may happen, he is happy. You see the present dye-house. We had four looms there. One day the whole thing caught fire. Ramdas could see the flames clearly from the ashram. It was one of the rare sights one could see. Ramdas was almost in ecstasy to see the flames rising high. He was calling all those near about to come and watch the fun. Sadanand Nagarkatti, who was then the manager in charge of that department, came running to Ramdas, greatly upset, and said in great hurry, 'Papa, Papa, our weaving shed is on fire. Please come immediately.' Ramdas heartily laughed and told him, 'Look here. Why do you get so much upset? Calmly watch that beautiful sight. Don't miss this sight. You know Ram does everything for the best. Why do you then feel dejected?’

Papa continued: "Hearing Ramdas speaking in this tone, he was abashed, and went away to do what he could to put out the fire. Poor chap could not enjoy the sight. Within ten days after the fire, a friend from Ahmedabad came to the ashram. He heard the news about the fire and donated two thousand rupees for the purchase of ten looms; and in a short time another friend came forward to construct a building for the Udyog Shala, and donated a sum of twentyeight thousand rupees. Ramdas called Sadanand and asked him. "What do you say now? You missed the beautiful sight of the fire the other day. See what has happened now? Instead of four looms, Ram has arranged for 10 looms and a big building instead of a small shed."

"Yesterday morning our doctor came to Ramdas so much excited that he found it difficult even to talk. He said, "Papa, last night there was a theft in the hospital. Somebody had broken open the door, got inside and taken away the ice-box. Papa, will you come there now? Ramdas said, "Don't be anxious or excited. Ramdas cannot come now. He has some work and then he has to look into the correspondence and so on.' The doctor went away and reported afterwards that the ice-box was found lying outside and after all nothing was lost. The thief had apparently come for money. When he did not find the money box (charity box) on the table, he thought it was inside the ice-box. But he was disappointed. The cash-box had been sent to the ashram the previous night for opening. We must enjoy all situations."

Papa was again looking into some spare parts of the commode.

S: The Western type of closet is very complicated.

Papa (laughing): The Westerners are making our lives also complicated. In the olden days we used to go to some field and relieve ourselves. Now you see all sorts of complications. This is all because we went in for the Western type of commode.

Then Keshav Bhat came and tried to fit the parts together. By the afternoon the flush-tank was functioning properly. Papa tried the flush-tank and found it satisfactory.

Papa: You know this has been so much in Ramdas' mind that he did not even sleep in the afternoon. Now one by one the problems are being solved. Perhaps in three or four days the septic tank will also be ready.

September 8, 1953

158. They come, for what?

10 a.m. Four men were seen standing near the gate, with some musical instruments in their hands. Ambu, the gate-keeper, had refused them admission. But they were discussing and arguing with him. Papa could watch that from the bhajan-hall. Asking them to stand near the gate, Ambu came to Papa and asked him if he should admit the four men who said they were musicians and wished to sing in Papa's presence for about ten minutes. Papa asked him not to admit them and said, "They only say that they want to sing before Ramdas for ten minutes. But when they once come in, they worry us for all sorts of things. They want this and that, and finally money also. Do not let them in." Ambu returned with the message and was apprising them of the same. Just then two more arrived at the gate. One had a red shawl covering his body, long hair and beard, and face besmeared with ash. The one following him was in white clothes.

Papa (looking from the bhajan-hall): Now another big sannyasi is coming, followed by his chela. These are the sannyasis who curse us.

S: Are they of the Durvasa type?

Papa: Yes. They are of Durvasa type. We cannot admit these people. They say they come for Darshan. Once they get in, they do not want to see Ramdas at all. They have a square meal and, when we tell them they have to go, they become furious, curse us, and sometimes we have to force them out. Let them curse us from the gate itself and go away.

Mataji came to the front of the ashram and watched for a while what was happening near the gate. Papa told her that he had given instructions to Ambu to send them away. She said she would herself go to the gate and ask them to go away.

Within ten minutes she came to the bhajan-hall and told Papa: "They are so anxious to sing for at least ten minutes before you. They promise they will all go away after that. They do not want even to take meal. Papa, I shall ask Ambu to allow them for ten minutes. The sannyasi also pleads for the same."

Papa: It is an utter lie they are telling. They will not go in ten minutes as they say. It is all a ruse to come in.

But as Mataji appeared to be very anxious to allow them for ten minutes, he agreed. Mataji asked Ambu to let them in. Papa then went inside the room for his daily massage.

The four people with musical instruments came and started singing. The bearded sadhu came and sat near the radio; his chela stood near the door. The songs went on for about fifteen minutes. Papa came out after the massage and sat on his asan. The newcomers did not show any sign at all of their pretended anxiety to have Darshan of Papa. The bearded sadhu sat all the time with his head down; he never even cared to look at Papa. After sitting for about five minutes, Papa asked the newcomers to stop their songs so that the usual bhajan might go on. In spite of his asking, they did not stop. Papa got up from the asan and went for bath. Going down, perhaps he told Mataji about it.

Mataji was very anxious to see that those people got away without creating trouble. She came up to the bhajan-hall and told S to ask them to stop their singing stopped. They showed no sign of going away. Papa came back after bath. Bhajan was over. The dinner-bell had been rung. Mataji also was watching the situation. None of them paid their respects to or had a word with Papa. Mataji, however, did not like to ask them to go away without their taking meal, but at the same time she was anxious they should not stay longer. She called and instructed Subbaram to take them for meal, to be with them till their meal was over, and to take them out of the gate direct from the dining-hall. After meal they went away.

When Mataji was taking meal, referring to these incidents, she told S: "I was not sure those people would go away without creating trouble. Somehow they left the place after meal. Don't you remember what all they said before getting in? They said they would sing for ten minutes in front of Papa and go away, and they would not take meal. Did they behave as if they were anxious for Papa's Darshan? They never spoke a word to Papa. And the bearded sadhu – Papa alone must describe it – was all the while sitting, his face down as if he did not wish even to see Papa's face. In the early days of the ashram, Papa used to say that the ashram was mainly for the sake of sadhus. Papa liked to serve them and took great joy in doing so. He also used to feed some sadhus with his own hand. See how by their behaviour they have changed Papa's attitude. Now he does not even want to see them, but wishes to send them away even from the gate itself".

159. No Faith in Simple Path

9.30 p.m. Papa had gone to bed. His body was being massaged. Mataji was also resting nearby, a few feet from the asan.

Papa (to S): There is a Sanskrit sloka published in ‘The Vision’ of this month about the glory of Lord's name. It is said in it that Name alone has the power to grant us the highest state of liberation.

S: Yes. It is a sloka taken from ‘Srimad Bhagavatam’.

Papa: When there is so much power in the Lord's name, why should people still run after various other ‘sadhanas’ like ‘pranayama’, yogic practices and so on? They do not take this most simple path.

S: During the tour, somebody asked Papa why people do not take to the repetition of God's name even though it is very simple. Does Papa remember the answer?

Papa: No. What was Ramdas’ answer?

S: Papa said, 'Because it is too easy'.

Papa: People do not have faith in easy and simple paths. They prefer to follow those hard paths, break their heads, get their brains deranged; after all for what? Only to get a certain amount of mental stillness. If they take God's name, all their vasanas will be rooted out and their mind will become pure. But people do not want it.

S: To have faith in Ram Nam is not an ordinary thing.

Papa: Not an ordinary thing. By God's grace alone we get it. Otherwise it appears as if we have faith, but it shakes now and then under trying conditions.