← The Gospel of Swami RamdasHis talks, as recorded by Swami Satchidananda

1951-10-01

Chapter 7

Anandashram, October 1, 1951

55. Struggle for the Nectar of Freedom

It was Mataji's birthday. It used to be celebrated on a grand scale until last year. As all celebrations in the ashram were stopped, that too was stopped. But devotees did not stop from coming on the auspicious day. They started arriving from the previous day and the whole ashram had a festive appearance. From early morning, Mataji found herself busy in the kitchen, preparing puris for breakfast.

Around 8 a.m. Papa was seen near the dining-hall watching the devotees at breakfast. The most important function fixed for the day was the opening of the new hospital building. At 9 a.m. Papa went to the kitchen, called Mataji and proceeded to the hospital, the devotees following. Papa did the formal opening while the repetition of Ram Nam was going on in full swing. There was a short bhajan programme ending with distribution of prasad. This was followed by the morning bhajan at the ashram, when the hall was packed to capacity. After bhajan, a few devotees performed pada-pooja.

In the afternoon a large number of devotees were sitting in front of Papa in the bhajan-hall. On Papa's shelf were a few copies of ‘Sri Ramadasa Ashtottara Sata Namavali’ composed and published Hanumayamma of Madras. Papa gave a copy of each to those sitting near him. S suggested to Swami Krishnananda to read the ashtottara aloud. He agreed and recited the whole stotra. When it was completed, S brought another note-book containing an ashtotara composed and written by hand by Srimati Ponnu Ammal of Salem. Swami Krishnananda then started reciting some of those stotras. As his voice was not good, he asked if there was anybody else in the gathering who could sing better. There was no reply. S then said, "Perhaps, you are the best singer here how!"

Swami Krishnananda: If Papa can give me that art, I will surely sing.

Papa: When Ramdas himself has not got that art, how can he give it to you?

Swami Krishnananda: If, as you say, you have not got that art, you can still recommend to Ram to give it to me.

Papa: If Ramdas were to recommend you to Ram, he would rather ask Him to give you moksha.

Swami Krishnananda: That will do.

S: You say, 'that will do'?

Swami Krishnananda: Papa should give me at least a drop of that nectar. I am not asking for more, a drop will do.

Papa: Nectar is not such an easy thing to secure. Nectar was got from the Kshira Sagara, only after it was well churned and that too only after the Lord Himself helped in the process. So churning is really necessary before you can expect to have nectar. Churn well and leave the rest to the Lord. But you won't churn; you want to sit quiet and at the same time taste the nectar. Now listen to this story.

"In a house there was a pot of curds kept in the kitchen. The pot was not covered. Two frogs, one big and the other small, while hopping about, fell into the pot of curds. Both of them struggled for some time to come out, but could not do so. The bigger frog gave up all hopes, kept quiet, sank to the bottom and died, drowning in the curds. The smaller frog did not want to give up easily. He struggled and struggled for hours together. He was now completely exhausted and kept quiet for some time. By the frog's struggles and his constant moving about in all directions for a long time, the curds underwent the process of churning and butter was produced. When the frog stopped struggling, the surface became still and the butter formed itself into a lump on the top. This gave a chance for the frog to come out. He got a foothold on the lump of butter and then leapt out of the pot. So Ramdas tells you that churning or struggle is essential to secure the nectar of freedom and escape from samsara.

"You should struggle hard to get God and when you are completely exhausted and cannot struggle any longer, God comes to your help. The moment you give up your struggle and surrender to Him, He takes you up and becomes your saviour. Struggle means effort to overcome obstacles. Obstacles are natural, but you have to grapple with them. By God's grace you will win and reach the goal.

"The water in the river Jamuna was poisoned by the serpent Kaliya. Lord Krishna entered the river, subdued the poisonous serpent and purified the water. The river Jamuna is the mind and the multiple heads of the serpent are the shadvikaras - kama, krodha (desire, anger), etc., which have poisoned it. If we cry to Krishna for help, He comes, tramples on the six heads of the serpent and drives it away, making the mind pure. Thereafter, we need have no more fear of the serpent which has been completely tamed by Krishna. But, unfortunately, we do not call on Krishna to purify our mind. We feel we can deal effectively with the serpent ourselves but that can never be done. We can realise God only His grace – not by our own efforts and initiative."

56. When can One be Free?

Continuing, Papa said: "When you sit for meditation, do so with the spirit of complete surrender to Him. Say, ‘Oh God, I am nothing. I can do nothing by myself. You are everything.’ If you surrender to Him, He will break all your fetters and liberate you. Offer to God both dharma and adharma – both good and evil – virtue and vice. By offering these dvandvas, or pairs of opposites, at the feet of the Lord, you will go beyond them and become perfect. "When shall I be free?" Only when "I" ceases to be, that is, when the ego disappears. Total disappearance of the ego is possible only when your surrender to God is complete. But doubt harasses you. This cloud of doubt can be dispelled only when you go beyond the pairs of opposites. To remove the ego, that is ignorance, knowledge is necessary. Finally, this knowledge also has to be transcended. Then alone you attain God in all His aspects. Because, one who has knowledge has ignorance also. That is why you are asked to go beyond both knowledge and ignorance. Removal of ignorance by knowledge is just like the removal of a thorn from your feet by another thorn. Both thorns have to be thrown away finally.

"In truth, there is no such thing as the ego. There is only the ego-sense, that is to say the false consciousness which makes you feel 'I am separate from God.' Actually you are not separate. The ego has no reality. It is purely illusory. It is really this false sense born of ignorance that makes you think that you are separate from God. You are ever one with God. This is the truth of your existence."

57. Guru All-Powerful

Swami Krishnananda: When I am struggling hard, weeping and lamenting, the mind is greatly distressed. You now give me some hope. Now I understand the value of a Guru in spiritual life.

Papa: The moment you know that you have got a Guru, you should feel your salvation is achieved. There is no more birth for you. For, Guru is he who dispels darkness and brings light. He is the giver of moksha. Even the avatars of God cannot give moksha to any one. If they want to do so, they should come in the form of Guru. Guru alone can give you liberation. He is in this sense greater than God. There cannot be any doubt in your mind when you have truly accepted a Guru, realising that he is the omnipotent and infinite power that can save you. You have to be aware of this. When you have accepted the omnipotent power as your Guru, where is the room for any more doubt or egoistic struggles on your part?

Swami Krishnananda: Papa, I have accepted you as my Guru. Still I do not feel I am liberated. I do not know what are the signs of a liberated man.

Papa: If you have really accepted a Guru, you won't say like this. So your acceptance is not yet real. You have not really understood your Guru. His grace flows to you, but you have closed the door and do not allow it to enter. He has accepted you, but you have not accepted him. As soon as you get a Guru, feel you are saved. When a child knows it is under the protection of its mother, will it be afraid of anything? It feels secure under the mother's protection. But when it is away from the mother or even when it is near it’s mother but is not aware of her presence, it will be afraid of anything and everything. If you feel the Guru's protection is not on you, it means you have not found or accepted the Guru. There is a song in Marathi which means: ‘Guru has shown me the path. He has now made me a fakir. He has destroyed my ego-sense. He has subdued all my passions. He has given me utter freedom'.

Swami Krishnananda, pointing to one of the women devotees who had come with him, said, "Papa, this mother is worrying for nothing at all."

Papa: It is not she alone who is worrying for nothing at all. All of you are in the same boat. You do not want to give up worries. If you have no worry at all, why do you have to feel the necessity of coming to Anandashram and meeting Ramdas? You have only to sit silent and laugh.

To this, most of the devotees present agreed and said "yes", looking at Papa with amazement.

Swami Krishanannda: These people simply say 'yes'.

Papa: Because they do not want to worry.

All laughed.

Swami Krishnananda: What I am now is only what the Guru has made me.

Papa: Then why should you have any worry at all? Say, ‘I have become what He wanted me to become. I am entirely in His hands.' Some people say, 'He makes me worry also.' That cannot be true. Because God is bliss. He is Sat-Chit-Ananda. From Him no misery ever comes. Does the sun ever give darkness? Where God is, misery is not. He gives us only pure bliss.

Swami Krishnananda: I cannot argue. Papa should know my difficulties and guide me properly.

Papa: Ramdas understands your difficulties. He is now telling you the way to get over them. When you know that you do not know anything, then you know everything.

58. Nishkama Karma

Swami Krishnananda: Papa, I feel I am being lifted by my Guru step by step. Still I am discontented. Why should it be so?

Papa: Those who drink the nectar of divine love are never satisfied until they are lost in a sea of bliss. They go on drinking and drinking, but never feel satisfied. When is the individual satisfied? When ‘he’ is not there at all, that is when ‘he’ is totally merged in the universal consciousness. You first long and long for God. You approach Him and have contact with Him. Still you are discontented. When you become completely one with Him, then alone all is well with you; and you have no more discontentment. You become one with God by intense longing. You should think of and meditate on Him so deeply that the sense of separation from Him completely disappears. Then alone you are really free and happy.

Dr Alva asked Papa about selfless work, that is nishkama karma and enquired if that type of work was possible only for sannyasins.

Papa: Are all sannyasins detached? By simple putting on gerrua cloth one does not become detached. Completely detached work is possible only when you have realised God. Who is a happy man? He who is a devotee of God. A devotee of God is one who ceaselessly remembers Him who is happiness itself. When a man forgets Him and spends his time in worldly engagements, how can he be happy?

Dr Alva: So, it is not possible for such a devotee to do worldly work.

Papa: What is our work? Our only work here is to seek God, or do such work that will enable us to realise God. Worldly work is what makes you forget God, a work in which you have no thought of God at all. How can such a work help you in any way to attain God?

59. Karma-Yoga

Dr Alva: Then what about karma-yoga?

Papa: Doing karma in a state of yoga, that is, doing actions in union with God – that is karma-yoga. When you are constantly in tune with God, and do your work as His servant, you are a karma-yogi. Lord Krishna said to Arjuna, "O Arjuna, whatever you do, do it for My sake – as on offering to Me." Such an action done for God, or as an offering to Him, is selfless action. That will not allow you to sink in the whirlpool of life.

People who work with attachment and die with desires unfulfilled are born again and again, and are not free from the cycle of births and deaths. Do not think that the world will not go on without your work. God has engaged you in work only as His agent. If you are taken away, He will find somebody else for that work. The master of a house thinks that the whole responsibility of looking after his wife and children and other relations is on his shoulders. He also thinks if he does not work, the whole family will suffer. What happens when a general famine comes? There is no foodstuff available anywhere. The result is that the whole family starves including the master of the house. The master who had thought that he was responsible for feeding them cannot do anything now. Truly, there is only one Great Master, namely, God, who looks after all of us. We are only His instruments here. So let us all surrender ourselves to Him.

60. God as Mother

A lady devotee asked Papa if God could be worshipped as mother by one repeating Ram-Mantra.

Papa: God can be worshipped as mother or father. In fact, the Mantra stands for both the aspects. You may worship Shiva and Shakti and the one who has become both, namely, Paramashiva; Purusha and Prakriti and also the one who has become both – the Purushottama. Ramdas worshipped God as mother and master, taking for himself the position of a child and that of a servant. If you look upon Him as mother, your attitude will be that of a child. Sri Ramakrishna maintained this relationship with God. You can worship God as mother, father, friend or master. Mataji used to address Ramdas as Guru-mavuli, meaning Guru Mother. She accepted Ramdas in the mother aspect. There is no sweeter relationship between God and the devotee than that of mother and child. It is the most blissful relationship. When Ramdas serves anybody, he takes the attitude of a servant of God. As a child he receives protection from God as mother and remains cheerful always. It is in the attitude of a servant that Ramdas is conducting the activities of the ashram. Mataji is often asking him, "Why do you keep up the servant attitude? Have only the attitude of a child." For the helpless child, surrender is the only way. Say to God, "O Mother! I am your child. Show me whatever you wish to. Take me anywhere you like. I am entirely in your hands." Then She does everything for you.

Swami Krishnananda: Once we have tasted the sweetness of nectar, we are anxious to have it always. I remember Papa's words, "God is preparing you to receive the nectar of ananda. If you get it without the proper preparation to stand it, your mind and body will be shattered to pieces!"

Papa: So He is gradually preparing you and when He knows you are ready to receive Him, He comes to you in all His glory.

Swami Krishnananda: Why then should we be impatient?

Papa: Longing for Him means remembrance of Him. Remembrance means purification of the mind. The pain of separation from Him is definitely better than the pain you get from the world. Cry for God and God alone. Cry we must. Then why cry for worldly things?

Swami Krishnananda: There are many intervals and breaks.

Papa: That is also good. You can then feel the contrast. Gradually the intervals of separation will be lessened until at last they disappear altogether and then you will experience a continuous flow of divine consciousness. Drink and drink the nectar of bliss till you become one with it.

In the evening Papa attended the various programmes arranged in the Udyog Shala for two hours in connection with Mataji's birthday celebration. In the ashram, in the evening there was bhajan and ‘pradakshina round the lamp' by men and women devotees separately. When men were going round the lamp, Papa also got up and joined them for a few minutes. It was a thrilling scene.

October 2, 1951

61. Money, A Worry

Papa was in S's room attending to correspondence. After dictating two letters, he said, "Ramdas is not in a mood to dictate anymore today. Other letters can wait." Papa would say so when he had other important work to do. That day he wanted to be with the Trichur devotees. They were already in the bhajan-hall when Papa entered it. They prostrated at his feet and sat around him. Swami Krishananda had a copy of ‘The Vision’ and was reading the report about the ashram hospital. Papa asked him: "Did you go through the donors' list? What do you note there?"

Swami Krishnananda: Malabar is most conspicuous by its absence in the list, while Bombay and Gujarat are prominent by their liberal donations.

All laughed, most of them being Malabaris.

Papa: The devotees of Gujarat, Saurashtra and Bombay are so liberal in giving donations that a high percentage of the ashram expenses is met by them. Do you know why it is so? It is because they were indebted to the people of this place in their previous births! The remark set the hall in a roar.

Papa continued: "But Ramdas can tell you that the devotees there do not at all grudge in making the offerings. They find joy in giving, so they give."

Papa then narrated certain incidents during his last tour. Referring to the proposed tour, he said, "This time Ramdas will be visiting Srirangam and going to the place where he took sannyas on the banks of the Cauvery, twentyeight years ago."

Swami Krishnananda: And also the place where Papa got the first bhiksha of two pies – tiny coins?

Papa: Yes, that also. He purchased plantains for the two pies from an old mother selling them. Later Ramdas could not accept any money. Once, somewhere near Bijapur, friends bought a railway ticket for him and while putting it in his pocket, thrust in also some money. Later on, it gave him no end of worry. He was repeating Ram Nam, but his mind was on the money in his pocket. He asked Ram, 'O Ram, why did you put this money in his pocket?’ Ram suggested that Ramdas might give the money to some beggar. Soon a beggar came and Ramdas gave him two annas. He did not feel like giving the whole lot, thinking that some more beggars might come and the remaining money could be given to them. But, unfortunately, though he was eagerly looking out for a beggar, station after station, nobody came. At last, he arrived at a station and got out of the train. Then his only thought was how to get rid of the money. He could not, of course, give it to any decent looking person. He wanted somebody who would accept it. He came out of the station and walked up to the house where he was to stay. As he neared it, he walked back again a short distance. He did not want to enter the house with the money in his pocket. He thought of throwing it away, but Ram did not permit him to do so. At last he saw a man standing at the gate of the local municipal office. He was a sweeper. Ramdas called him and gave him the paper packet containing the money, and ran away from there, lest that man should return it. Such was the worry that money gave him in those days. Now, you see, things are so different. Not only does Ramdas accept money when offered, but also asks for it, whenever necessary.

62. Attachment to Gold – A Story

Papa continued: "There is a fine story about attachment to gold. Listen. The saints, Machhendranath and Gorakhnath were once wandering together from place to place. Machhendranath was the Guru and Gorakhnath the disciple. The disciple in this case was a siddha, but the Guru was not so ripe. The Guru had a bag which he would not trust anybody with, not even his disciple. He took it wherever he went, being ever cautious about its security. The disciple was surprised at the attachment his Guru had for the bag and wanted to see what it contained. But he could not easily find an opportunity. One day, by force of circumstances, the Guru had to leave the bag under the care of his disciple to answer the call of nature. Now the disciple opened the bag and saw a bar of gold in it. He said to himself, "Ah! This gold bar is what has put my Master under bondage. I should free him from this." So thinking, he threw away the gold bar into a well nearby. The Guru soon came back and when he took the bag found the gold bar missing. He asked his disciple about it. The disciple replied that he had thrown the bar away. This made the Guru furious. He took a big stick and started beating Gorakhnath, who ran and ran until he got exhausted and sat down on a rock, saying, "Let me die at the hands of my Master." The Master continued to shower severe blows on the disciple. The latter, unable to stand any more, fell into a swoon and made water, which turned the whole mass of rock into gold! The Guru was beating him for throwing away a small bar of gold and there was a whole rock turned into gold! This opened the eyes of Machhendranath who now realised the great powers of his disciple and gave up his attachment to gold."

63. If Women had Written Smritis

Papa added: "Do you know how the sadhus talk about money? They have a language of their own for that. They ask, "Have you any maya with you?" They call women also maya. To Sri Ramakrishna, maya was kamini-kanchana – woman and gold. Ask Mataji about men's behaviour to women. She will tell you very hard things about men. Ramdas agrees with her."

All laughed; the women devotees present looked happier.

Papa continued: "Some of our Smritis, written by men, talk so ill off women as if only women are imperfect and men perfect. Had women written the texts, they would have revealed in glaring colours the defects of men. Most men think wrongly that women are born only to serve them. Once a man drew a picture. A lion was lying on its back and a man was sitting on its chest about to pierce it with a dagger. The artist who drew the picture was proud. He showed the picture to a lion. The lion said, "If I were to draw the picture, it would be of a man on the ground and a lion on his body with mouth open to drink his blood! If a man falls, he falls by his own weakness. He should not blame anybody else for it."

Papa then went out with Mataji and a few devotees to open formally the newly built house of a worker of the ashram.